He pulls open the door and hands me something. It takes a moment for the smell to register.
Meat.
I crash outside, tears spilling down my cheeks, then run as fast as I can even as pain flares through my ass.
No way am I coming back to him.
Not ever.
Chapter 9
Foraging through another house, I come across a can of lentils. Not my favorite but beggars can’t be choosers. Not with the weather turning as fast as it is.
Don’t know how many days have passed since that night with Mac—maybe a week—but the food he gave me is gone.
Sure, I have stuff saved at my childhood home, but I can’t go back there. Besides the two dead bodies inside, he could be waiting.
Same reason I avoid going fishing. It’s the paralyzing thought of running into Mac.
I place the can of lentils into my backpack then continue to rummage through the cupboards.
Slim pickings in this house. Time to move to the next.
Anything to keep me from endlessly thinking abouthim. Or about what happened that night.
How he used me like a plaything. A slut to be discarded.
And while my ass and insides feel better, my heart and mind don’t.
I swipe my arm across the countertop, sending a glass flying and shattering on the floor.
Why does it matter that I went crazy and ran away or that he asked me to stay even after the time was up?
The two hours were transactional.
Mac doesn’t want more. Not in the way I do.
I take a deep breath in and release it, trying to calm myself. But everything just fucking sucks.
I suck. He sucks. This goddamn world sucks.
If only I could figure out how to turn my emotions off or even just turn down their intensity.
But nope.
For some damn reason, all I can think about is Mac and this unchecked need to be with him. For more than some fucked up transaction.
I stalk through the house, then out the front door, my gaze turning up the hill to the smoke puffing out from his chimney as if it’s taunting me.
Or worse, beckoning me.
I growl and clench my fists, wanting to punch the shit out of that smoke.
I pull my coat tight and walk two blocks to the house I’m staying at tonight. It used to belong to my father’s friend before the guy decided to move on.
But just like most other houses, there’s no fireplace. Even the few that do have one have crap ventilation.
I kick a stone.
