“My son, what is the matter?”
“The prince of Al Nuzem was my tribute. And it pains me to see him go.”
ZAKAI
As soon as the barbarians left the tent, my mother rounded on me. “Tell me the truth. Did they force you to lie with them? I’ve heard the rumors and?—”
Taking her hands before she could launch into a tirade, I cut her off with a shake of my head. “No, Mother. No one forced me to do anything.”
Father’s eyes narrowed. “But you did lie with them.”
I swallowed hard, shrinking away from his shrewd stare. “I…”
Mother let out a gasp, eyes widening in surprise. “Is that… Is that why you haven’t accepted a bride? Zakai! How could you not tell us?”
I’d hoped I could get away with not having this conversation with them, that I could pretend nothing had happened, but even if Uttin hadn’t said what he said or held my hand to support me, they would have figured it out eventually. Because I saw how pained Uttin was as he walked away, and it tore my heart asunder. I wanted to go to him more than I wanted to speak with my parents, despite our long separation. I wasn’t sure how long I would last keeping my distance from him.
Father moved off his pillow, taking the one Uttin had sat on before so that they sat on either side of me. Putting his hand on mine, he gave me a reassuring smile. “Who you choose to lie with is none of my business. In all honesty, I would prefer not to know.”
“Zohaib!” Mother scolded, but Father just shrugged.
“What? Are you saying you wish to know about our son’s bedroom life?”
Their teasing lifted a weight off my shoulders I’d carried for years. I looked between them with a frown, truly taking in their words. “Are you saying… Would you truly allow it?”
“Of course we would,” Mother insisted, squeezing my other hand.
“But… you’ve been pushing me toward all those women…”
She threw her hands up, exasperated. “Well, if I had known of your interests, I would have introduced you to young men instead! How was I supposed to know?”
Stunned, I gaped at her. While it was true that I’d never told them, I still couldn’t comprehend that they would accept my interests so easily.
Father, after taking in my expression, patted my hand. “You are not the crown prince, expected to pass down the family line. And even if your brother was so inclined, we would not force him to choose otherwise. He could always adopt if his interests lay with men. We are a country of acceptance, my son. Why would we accept for our citizens what we could not accept for our own children?”
I was at a loss for words. I’d expected the worst for so long, I didn’t know how to wrap my head around their words. I wanted to ask about Uttin and convince them to let me keep him, but I didn’t want to push them too far. They had been worried for me for so long. Discussing the barbarian that had captured my attention… The timing felt wrong.
“How did you find me?”
Mother blew out an exasperated breath, and Father looked irritated as he explained, “It was not easy. Hameed told us your company was attacked on the return home and your life was lost, but your body could not be recovered. This was suspicious to me, as it is his duty to return you to us. Abdul was horrified and left immediately to search for your remains. It took a week before he returned with Umaira.”
Relief flooded me, and I tightened my grip on his hand. “She is alive?” I breathed.
He nodded, but his expression didn’t lighten. “She is under house arrest. Her story did not match Hameed’s. We did not know who to believe. And when we asked for Hameed so that he could explain himself, he was gone. Snuck out in the night. We had not thought to keep our eye on him because no one had returned with him and dissented with his story.”
“Umaira did nothing wrong!” I argued. “There were too many! She could not have saved me even if she tried! It was two against dozens!”
“Shhh, my heart,” Mother soothed, petting my arm. “She is unharmed. Just being watched for now. She told us you were sold to the barbarians and agreed to stay under arrest until we found you and confirmed her story. She is not being treated ill.”
My shoulders slumped in relief. Like I didn’t blame the barbarians, I didn’t blame Umaira either. Had she not done what was needed to stay alive, my parents would never have known to look for me.
“Did you send someone to look for Hameed?” I asked.
Father nodded. “We sent our best spy to find him, but most of our men came with us. We searched for you in each barbarian clan until we came to this one. There were only two left we had not searched. They took you far from us, my son.”
Chuckling, I lifted a shoulder. “There is a teacher here who helps the tributes learn the language. Most of the clans bring tributes here for lessons before sending them to their clan.”
Not that I would have gone to another clan if asked. Nothing would have taken me from Uttin.
