Pressure made my breath catch and my eyes widened as Uttin’s finger slipped inside. Simon was right that there was a slight burn but no pain. Nothing that would make me want him to stop. The soap fell carelessly from my hand, my fingers delving into the damp strands of his hair as he slowly dragged his finger in and out. Without conscious thought, my hips began to move, rocking with his touch. The entire time, I couldn’t look away from Uttin’s gaze. I was trapped there, my heart hammering in my chest.
He removed his finger for a moment, and when he came back, a second entered with it, stretching me. I knew the process, I’d done it plenty of times myself, but I’d never realized the impatience my partners felt was because of more than just my touch. As each finger entered me, the burn faded and need took its place. I wanted more. And he gave it to me, adding another finger until he was four deep, and it still wasn’t enough. The only thing that would give me what I wanted was his cock.
“Uttin…” I whined.
His half-lidded gaze sparked with amusement as he pulled his fingers free. I finally looked away, glancing down to watch as he spread the oil over his cock until it shone in the light of the fire. If I knew the words, I would have commented about it being a bit much. Before I could even make an attempt, he held his cock upright and guided me over it with a hand on my hip, nipping at my chin to get my attention.
“Your turn.”
Confused, it took me a moment to understand his meaning. He wouldn’t thrust up into me like I’d expected. He didn’t turn me onto my back or belly and put his body over mine. Instead, he was giving me control of how much I took from him, his hand on my hip only guiding me as I slowly sank down. The trust I felttoward him only multiplied, and that feeling that I was weaker for taking his cock disappeared entirely. There was no weaker or stronger. We were equals, and I had the power to say when it was enough no matter what we were doing.
Swallowing hard around the swell of emotions, I focused on the feel of him as he pushed past that first ring of muscle. The burn was back, more intense this time, but Uttin didn’t rush me. He kept his hands on my hips, eyes on mine as I took a deep breath and sank down a little more. His nostrils flared, and he groaned in the back of his throat, fingers tightening for a second before he forced himself to relax. Seeing his struggle to maintain his composure made me grin. I loved seeing the stoic man fighting with his instincts to pound into me. It made me feel powerful.
“Uttin…”
By the time I was fully seated in Uttin’s lap, I was panting. Despite having had him in my mouth and hand multiple times, I somehow hadn’t thought he would be that big. My body trembled until the burn turned into something more pleasurable and the discomfort faded.
Uttin hummed his approval, like he could tell when I relaxed. “Good, tavi. More?”
I nodded, but I’d never taken a partner in this position before, even in Uttin’s place. I wasn’t entirely sure how.
With his grip on my hips, Uttin took over long enough to guide my hips in a slow grind, his jaw flexing with strain as he encouraged, “Like this. Or—” He lifted me up and back down, grunting as my ass met his lap again. “Like this. You choose.”
Biting my lip, I rolled my hips like he showed me, watching in fascination as his eyes fluttered and he sucked in a breath. When I lifted up and down a few times, his fingers flexed on my hips and his mouth fell open, his breath coming out in pants. Was it odd that I was getting as much pleasure watching his face as Iwas from his cock inside me? And that was saying something, given how good it felt to take his cock. The desire I’d felt for so many years, the dreams I had of finally being taken, were nothing compared to reality. The slow grind made the pleasure burn through me like a thick syrup, while bouncing caused sparks like the colorful explosions the alchemists of the palace created for my last birthday celebration. I couldn’t decide which sensation I wanted more.
“Ungh, Zakai…” Uttin groaned, head dropping back in pleasure. I watched his reactions to each movement, and a smile flitted momentarily across my face when I lifted off again and slammed back down, loving his fierce pleasure. He growled low and his fingers tightened, helping me repeat the movement as his impatience grew.
My thighs burned from the effort of riding him, my breath like that of a race horse, but I couldn’t focus on any of it. Uttin, the troublemaker, drew my arms off his neck, pulling my hands behind my back and holding them in one of his. He knew what it did to me when he captured me like that, and I felt my pleasure climb higher as sparkles edged my vision. It was when he sank his hand into my hair, pulling slightly as he dragged me in for a deep kiss that I lost all sense. I moaned into his mouth, my cum splashing across his chest as I rode out the waves of pleasure.
Heat flooded inside of me as Uttin growled through his release, his hips bucking up and dragging out my orgasm until I was sure I’d pass out. Never in my life had I ever come that hard. And it wasn’t until Uttin had cleaned us up and I was curled against his side that I realized the mistake I’d made. It was hard enough to accept that sex with a man would be impossible once I returned home. I’d be lucky if my parents ever let me leave the palace again. But knowing I wouldn’t ever experience this kind of pleasure once I left this place hit me hard.
I didn’t want to go.
Nineteen
ZAKAI
Aweek passed before the snow melted enough that it was safe for people to journey home. The other clans who’d had tributes here learning from Finn took the opportunity, and the little village got smaller as a handful of tents were taken down and brought with them.
I didn’t want to leave yet, I wasn’t ready, so I made an excuse when Uttin suggested we leave as well. “I am feeling unwell. I cannot go yet.”
He knew better than to truly believe me, but he allowed me more time to stay beside him without complaint.
Another week passed much the same, and when Uttin suggested we begin our journey, I made him bring me out to the pasture to find a stallion for me to ride and purposely fell off so I wouldn’t have to go. I complained constantly of a sprained ankle and refused to even consider leaving while I was in so much pain. Uttin gave me extra attention all week, ensuring I felt no pain by fucking me senseless each night until I was too blissed out to feel anything but pleasure.
When I could no longer fake the pain thanks to Ambrose examining me and saying I was all healed, I sat in the receiving tent near the fire, pouting as Uttin made plans for our journey.
“You’re still here?” Godr asked as he dropped onto a cushion beside me. He was a friendly barbarian, bonded to Ambrose the evil doctor, and once we’d been properly introduced, he always came over to say hello while he waited for his bondmate to be done with his work.
Scowling, I hugged my knees against my chest. Was it so wrong that I was?
He eyed me for a moment before blowing in his hands and rubbing them together, holding them a little closer to the fire. “You know, there are usually multiple storms in the season. This one was the biggest in a while, but there will be more.”
Lifting my head, I frowned at him. “Why are you telling me this?”
He shrugged one shoulder, his expression relaxed. “I’m just saying, if you’re worried about the weather, it might be better to stick around. There’s no telling when the next storm will come.”
Straightening a little, I studied him more intently. “They said it was safe.”
