“What would I even offer them,” I ask the suitcase. “Half my attention and the privilege of watching me check email during dinner?”
I can hear it now.
Sorry, can’t make it to your game, I’ve got a deposition in Dallas.
Rain check on that heat? There’s a merger in LA.
I tried dating after my ex. Drinks between conference calls, quick dinners squeezed between closing arguments. Different faces, same expression when they realized my phone would always win.
I couldn’t show up properly then. How could this time be any different?
My phone buzzes again.
I snatch it up, ready to breathe fire at whoever thinks ten p.m. is a great time to—
Mia.
Her text:How are you holding up? I know today wasn’t exactly light and fun.
My thumbs hover over the keyboard.
I’m fine. Heading back to NYC tomorrow.
Delete.
It went great. Completely professional.
Delete.
They’re idiots.
Delete, delete.
I exhale and type:It’s… complicated.
She replies almost immediately.
Mia:Figured. You don’t have to solve it tonight, you know. It’s okay to not have a plan yet. Go with the flow. One step at a time.
I stare at the screen until my eyes blur, then set the phone on the nightstand and throw myself backward on the bed.
The ceiling has little stains that look like a duck. I focus on that, because the alternative is thinking about what I actually want to be flowing toward.
Seriously, what's the next step I want to take?
It’s not like asking myself the question is going to magically conjure an answer. Life doesn’t work like—
Oh.
Oh, apparently it does.
The answer drops into my head so fast I actually sit up.
I want to see them play tomorrow.
It’s so simple it feels stupid. Not move in. Not declare undying love. Not burn my life down.
Just… sit in a rink and watch them do what they were born to do. See Lakeview light up around them. Be there.
