“This song is a bit older,” Elena said as they started to play again, “but it’s one of their best. It’s a twist on Scion’s creation story, from the point of view of the snake. He likes to weave mythology into his writing,” she explained. Ciaran had picked up a guitar this time and was playing a complicated riff. He sang once more, and once more my whole body stilled. Goosebumps spread along my arms. It felt like my hair could have stood on end from the amount of electricity in the place.
DOUBLE DOG DARE
Iwaited in the Bowl for the boys to come out from backstage like one of Carlotta’s stupid groupies. I felt as shameless as one of those faceless, nameless suitors as well.
“You alright?” Elena tilted her head at me. I was staring toward the stage door, willing Ciaran to come out. I needed to see him, to talk to him; I needed to make sure that what had happened was real. That I hadn’t imagined it all.
“I’m fine.” I raised my eyebrows and shifted my eyes as I took a frothy sip of the fresh ale Elena had brought over after the show was done. The lights had come up, and most people were either milling around chatting or making their way toward the exit. I was frozen, my gaze stuck on that door.
“Liar.” She smiled. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” She leaned in, clearly hoping for some kind of gossip or revelation from me.
“I’m not thinking anything.” Heat rushed into my cheeks, a dead giveaway. I was never able to hide my emotions on my face. I would have been a terrible poker player. Triomphe had been bad enough.
“Sure. Here come the boys—”Damnit. I had taken my eyes off the door for one second. I whipped my head back to the door. “Made you look.” Elena smirked.
“Fine. I have. Feelings,” I ground out, “but I am not going to act on them. It is way too soon and way too awkward with us in this… living situation. So please just drop it.”
“You have feelings for who?” Elena asked in a low singsong voice, batting her eyelashes at me.
“For fuck’s sake. You know who.” I ground my teeth together. “Please, Elena, don’t say anything. I don’t need to make this situation anymore uncomfortable than it already is.”
“Why does it have to be uncomfortable, exactly? I just watched you two eye-fuck each other for that entire concert. It’s not exactly a one-sided situation.” Elena was blunt as always. “Didn’t he have his hands all over you the entire card game last week?”
“You saw that?” I could feel the heat creeping into my face. I didn’t realize it had been so obvious.
“Please. We all saw it.” Elena took a long pull from her glass, rolling her eyes at me. “He’s got it bad for you. You’re like a little lovesick puppy panting after him up there on stage. I don’t see what the problem is.”
My mouth was so dry. Elena wasn’t just pushing at my boundaries. She was taking a sledgehammer to them. I didn’t want to be having this conversation.
I rubbed my temple. “Elena, things are complicated for me right now. Ciaran is helping me get back on my feet. That’s all. I don’t need to make my life even more complicated by adding some kind of messy relationship into the mix. We’re friends,” I hissed through my teeth.
“Fine.” Elena held up her hands. “I won’t say anything. Just do me a favour. Please.” She rummaged in her purse, taking out a small packet that looked like tea leaves. “Just start drinkingthis, alright? I know. I know. You’re just friends. But we don’t need any ‘friendly’ mishaps making your life evenmorecomplicated.”
I glowered at Elena for a few seconds. She held the packet out expectantly, one eyebrow cocked. I narrowed my eyes and snatched the packet from her, tucking it safely into my own purse. Fuck. I hated that she was right.
“I’m just looking out for your well-being, my friend.” Elena gave a devious grin. “Goddess, it must be awful to be attracted to men. Such horrible creatures.” She shivered. “Speaking of horrible creatures—here they come.”
I tried, utterly failing to wipe the look of longing and desperation from my face as Ciaran walked toward the edge of the stage. My heart was beating like Fionn’s drum set. Everyone in this place must have been able to hear it. Ciaran reached the edge of the stage, bent down, braced himself on his powerfully muscled forearms and hopped off the stage. He walked straight to me, eyes drilling into mine. He looked so intense that I actually had to stand up and take a step back.
“Well, looks like I need another drink. Boys?” Elena hooked her arms through Fionn’s and Rory’s, steering them toward the bar. I didn’t know whether to kiss her or slap her for leaving me with Ciaran. She gave me a pointed look over her shoulder. I scowled at her.
“Hello, love.” Ciaran dragged a hand through his hair, tousling it in that way that made me weak at the knees. “How’d you enjoy the show?”
“Ciaran, you were… unbelievable,” I said solemnly. I didn’t have words to convey how the performance had moved me. I didn’t know if the proper words existed. Silence yawned between us.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Ciaran broke the thrall. I had never seen him this ruffled. He was usually so calm and collected, bordering on arrogant.
“Sure.”
“Good. Good. Come on.” Ciaran took my hand in his and we ascended the seven levels of the Bowl, making our way back into the yellowish limestone hallways. This late at night, I had expected everyone to be home and out of the cobbled corridors, but Beneath Lutesse was more alive and vibrant now than it was during the daytime. We made our way through the busy corridors, back toward the crossroads, in uncomfortable silence.
“Where are we going?” I asked, finally breaking the tension that filled the air between us.
“Somewhere quiet. Where we can talk,” Ciaran replied.
“Oh good. You know, I don’t think you and I talk enough,” I joked, trying to ease the tension. Ciaran didn’t take the bait, he just kept walking, eyes straight ahead.
We walked north of the crossroads, in the direction of the Cistern. I hadn’t been back since I came down here, desperately trying to avoid death by funeral pyre. My stomach was in knots—what did Ciaran want to talk about? I tried to go with the flow and follow his lead. But I was a mess inside.
