My heart squeezed in longing as we entered the dress shop. My salary as a chorus dancer had been modest, but I had invested more of it than was probably wise in the sparkling dresses I loved to wear. They were all gone now. I would never see them again. I didn’t have very many possessions, but I wouldmiss those dresses dearly. Now, I didn’t think it was practical to buy anything like that. I was about to leave the store, but Elena insisted that I try some things on.
I stood in the mirror of the fitting rooms, wearing an exquisite black beaded dress. It looked like it had been painted on my body, hugging every curve and hollow, the beads catching the cozy light of the shop interior.
“You have to get that one, Seraphina. You have to. It’s perfect. Your tits look amazing.” Elena stood behind me, wolf whistling.
I crinkled my nose. “I don’t know. When am I ever going to wear this? It’s too fancy,” I said, but I couldn’t help swaying my hips a little, listening to the satisfying swoosh of the beaded fringe at the bottom.
“If you’re going to be here for a while, you are going to need something to wear when we go out dancing.” Elena was pouting—pleading for me to agree to get the dress. “Plus, Ciaran is going to drop dead when he sees you in that. I mean, he could barely stop staring at you today wearing his ratty old shirt, so…”
My face must have turned a thousand shades of crimson, and my stomach fluttered uncontrollably as she said it. Though I didn’t want to admit it was the reason I agreed to buy the dress… I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a factor. It was the most expensive thing we bought, and Elena forced me to get a pair of high-heeled shoes to go with it. I was sure it was well outside of whatever budget Ciaran had asked Elena to stick to, but she just scoffed.
“Don’t worry. He will agree, this dress iswellworth the investment.”
I blushed furiously.
We strolled casually backin the direction of the crossroads after we finished shopping. “Let’s get lunch, I’m starving,” Elena drawled. We stopped into a bistro and ate and chatted some more. I found myself able to open up to Elena. She had been so warm and vulnerable with me that it was easy to reciprocate. It happened so rarely, but she was one of those people who you meet once and feel as if you’ve known a lifetime.
Elena told me aboutherduties here in the city. She was another member of the city council. In the Lutesse above us, women were not even allowed to vote in elections, let alone run for office. Elena cringed when I mentioned the fact.
“We run a much more egalitarian society Beneath Lutesse, Seraphina. I assure you. I was floored when I arrived as well.”
She told me that she oversaw the ministry of the arts. In this city that favoured such pursuits, this was an important position. I was no longer intimidated by her, as I’d been when we first met, but I was impressed.
When we were finished eating, my face crumpled.
“Elena, I really wish I could pay, but I don’t have anything here. My purse, my bank information, it’s all up there. I left everything behind.” I pointed above our heads. “I can’t keep letting you pay for things…”
“First of all—” Elena cleared her throat, “—please don’t apologize for what was done to you. This time has been very difficult for you, and we want to help. We’ve all been there. In one way or another. So don’t worry,” she began, “and secondly, I haven’t paid for anything today, it’s allKingCiaran, so take it up with him.” She flashed me a smile, showing a row of perfect gleaming white teeth set against the warm brown of her skin.
“Okay. I will.” I narrowed my eyes on her. “But I’m not a charity case. I want to earn my keep here. I want to help in whatever way I can. Against what’s happening with Scion…” I trailed off.
“Oh, I know. I have no doubt you’ll fit in just fine. But let us help you in the meantime. We help each other here. We don’t leave our community out to rot,” Elena insisted.
This was not the first time in my life that I had been alone. When my father died, I had to start from scratch, on my own, as a ballerina in an unknown city. While Madame Giselle had allowed me a spot to train in the opera’s ballet school, I had to figure out the rest for myself. Where to live, how to pay for my rent, my groceries, everything. No one had tried to help me then. It had been an extremely lonely time, until I found Carlotta and Maren. The way that Ciaran and now Elena were helping me was not something I was accustomed to. I felt like a burden, but they had both insisted I accept their help. The sense of community that I felt here, Beneath Lutesse, was unprecedented. I thought about it all the way back to Ciaran’s.
Elena knew the spells and enchantments to get inside the trap door. She dropped the bags she was carrying and let out a low whistle.
“Goddess, it is close quarters in here.” She looked around. “I hope you don’t mind being on top of each other.”
I felt a blush creep up my neck. “Oh, it’s fine. I’m just happy to have somewhere to stay, honestly.”
“Well, if you ever feel like you need some girl time, you know who to call. Ciaran is a broody boy, he’ll exhaust you soon enough with his ways,” Elena teased.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I grinned. My mood had improved since the morning. I was trying to focus on how my life could look and not dwell on what I’d lost. It would likely prove tobe easier in the daytime. I couldn’t imagine sitting around this apartment for the rest of the night and I told Elena so.
“Oh, you should come to my show, then!” She flopped down on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table, clearly comfortable in this space. “I’m dancing in a big drag show tonight. It’s going to be so fun. Actually… I have to get to rehearsal in about… fifteen minutes…merde!” She jumped up again.
“I’ll definitely come but… what is drag?” I had to admit I didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Oh, goodie!” Elena squealed. “And oh no.” She dragged the word out so it sounded like it had about twenty extra ‘o’s, her mouth turning into a comical moue. “You don’t know what drag is? It’s okay, I didn’t either until I moved down here. You’ll see. You’re going to love it. I promise. But I do have to go. Ciaran is coming to the show, he’ll take you. I’ll see you later, okay?” She kissed me once on each cheek, a familiar gesture that reminded me of my friends in the city above, gathered her things and clambered back down through the trap door.
I was alone. For the first time since I had made the harrowing trek through the tunnels under the opera house. I was truly alone. If I let it, my mind would start to remind me of all that had occurred. I didn’t want to do that. So, I began looking for something, anything, to distract myself.
Ciaran waswhatever the opposite of a hoarder is. He had very little in the way of personal belongings. I took the liberty of amalgamating some things in his dresser, claiming one drawer for myself. I carefully folded my new clothes and placed them in the drawer. Soft pants, button-down shirts, some underthingsand socks. It seemed symbolic; like I was accepting the semi-permanence of the state I was in. I couldn’t go back home, but how long could I stay here?
I hung my dress on the back of the door. Maybe I could wear it tonight? Were you supposed to wear dresses to a drag show? I was more than a little embarrassed that I didn’t know what it meant.
Once I finished putting my things away, I started snooping through Ciaran’s books. He kept very few. I thumbed through a book of poetry absentmindedly. I wondered if Seff ever read poetry. I doubted it. I knew he preferred to read great tomes about the war. He must have read the Scion scriptures at some point, but from what I knew about them, they were hardly poetic. Prescriptive, rigid texts telling you how you should and more importantly should not live your life.
