“We had this bad falling out, and I just … I know it’s petty, but I don’t want to live around them.”
“What happened? With your falling out?” She rushes to add, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
I shrug, pretending it’s not a big deal. “Gabby never liked me, probably because I saw through her bullshit. She’s one of those girls who is fake as fuck, you know?”
Harlow clicks her tongue. “Yep. Know that type. Please don’t tell me they got together or something?”
A sharp, unexpected laugh escapes me. “Oh no. Those two are straight as can be.”
“So, what happened?”
“The bitch stole my diary.”
“Excuse me, what?” Harlow reels back.
“Yep.” I nod.
I didn’t understand my feelings for her yet. I was confused by the fluttering in my stomach every time Mikayla smiled at me. The way I’d feel warm all over when we’d sit close to each other on the couch to watch movies. I couldn’t put my thoughts into words, but Gabby could.
“Gabby told Mikayla that I was ‘in gay love’ with her. Emphasis on the ‘gay’ because what’s an invasion of privacy and betrayal without a sprinkling of homophobia on top?” I say.
“And your supposed best friend was cool with a bigot stealing your personal belongings and using them against you?” Her voice is low and dangerous.
The words make me pause. In the fallout of our friendship, my family told me repeatedly they thought I was being “overdramatic” and “immature” when I said I no longer wanted to be around Mikayla and Gabby. I heard it so often, I started second-guessing myself.
If it wasn’t for Em and Casey constantly reassuring me what happened was messed up and—in their opinion—totally unforgivable, my family would have me thinkingIwas the one in the wrong.
Sure, they don’t know the whole story, but if they did and still told me I overreacted? I don’t think I could handle that.
“Mikayla had my back at first. She told Gabby off and made her return my diary, but …” My voice falters. I wasn’t planning to tell Harlow this much. I was going to scratch the surface and keep it moving, but at the sight of her clenched jaw and hands tightened into fists, the reaction is so surprising and validating, it makes me want to spill everything.
“I thought we were going to be okay,” I whisper. “Until Mikayla made it a point to bring up all the boys she had a crush on every time we talked. She never sat on the same couch as me when we watched movies. She stopped sleeping over.”
Harlow sighs heavily.
“Gabby apologized profusely to Mikayla—not me, go figure—until she wore Mikayla down. Slowly, they started making their own plans to hang out and invited me less and less. Gabby’s parents let her host parties—Mikayla alwaysher eager cohost—and they became the duo all social circles revolved around.”
“Are you serious?”
I nod and pick at my straw wrapper. “Unfortunately. Our high school was tiny with only seventy kids in my graduating class, so I became a loner rather than go anywhere near the two of them. I hung out with Landon and his friends or by myself. Casey and Em at the lake house became my safe place. Aside from those two, I’ve never told anyone what happened.”
My family thinks Mikayla and I stopped being friends because I couldn’t handle her being closer to Gabby than to me. Our parents are still best friends to this day, which really sucked when I lived at home. I hated seeing Mikayla at family gatherings and having to hide how deeply I was hurting. I kept trying to get out of seeing them—pretending to be sick, blaming it on too much homework—until I lost my shit about not wanting to hang out with Mikayla.
“Everyone thinks Casey is the first girl I had feelings for—since I came out junior year when we tried dating for a short two months—and I want to keep it that way.”
Harlow’s mouth parts slightly. “None of your family knows about this?”
I shake my head. “I used to be terrified Gabby would out me, but she never did. The two of them never said anything, not even after I came out. It’s weird.”
“Wow.” She scoffs. “So what happened to them?”
I shred the last of my straw wrapper and move on to pick at a napkin. “Mikayla and Gabby both still live in Winston and are as tight as ever—they were each other’s maids of honor and everything. Mikayla took over her parents’ house when they wanted to downsize, and, sinceMikayla and her husband have five kids, they needed the extra space.”
“Five?”
“She’s living her boring straight trad-wife fantasy.” I roll my eyes. “Their property isn’t huge, but it’s enough for her to pretend she’s a homesteader.”
“Wow, I hate her so much,” Harlow says. “I hope her sourdough starter grows mold.”
