I loved it.
And it broke me.
I cross the room and sit next to her on the bed.
“Been there. One of my first shoots was in Iceland. Call time was 6 AM, and we were being shuttled to the filming location. I guess with the jet lag and the fact that it was dark for something like twenty hours of the day, I slept through my alarm. The director called, and I basically sprinted down to the lobby of the hotel to find everyone waiting on me. Thankfully, I was only ten minutes late. But he gave me a very firm lecture.”
It still made me feel sick recalling that moment and the prickling sensation of shame that oozed throughout my entire body as he told me, in no uncertain terms,the call time is the call time. And next time? They’d leave without me.
“Oh my God, I would die,” Sora breathes as she turns to face me, her eyes wide. I chuckle.
“I wasmortified. He should have fired me.” Looking back on it, any other DOP would have kicked my ass to the curb without a second thought. But he didn’t, for some reason. Maybe he saw something in me. Maybe he needed me. Maybe I reminded him of his daughter, or, hell, even himself. I still think about him. For all the misogyny this industry bred, there were some men I had worked with over the years who had made a conscious effort to help me. Not a lot of men…but some.
“Did it happen again?”
“Well, I started setting way more alarms from then on with the hope that I wouldn’t sleep through another call time. But I think the anxiety of not waking up really messed with my head… My body fell into this rhythm of waking up, every hour on the hour, to make sure I was, you know, not in danger of being eaten by a lion or something. I was so obsessed with not screwing up that my nervous system interpreted the whole experience as a threat.”
Sora’s brows arch upward. “Well, thankfully, sleep is not something I am struggling with right now. I could literally sleep on my feet in a hurricane at this point.” I feel my mouth tilt up into a small smile.
“This job…it’s a lot foranyone. Once it’s over, you’re going to go home, and no one else will understand how it felt for you to be here—to meet new people every day, to become used to the little details of a new environment, even just seeing a different night sky at the end of each day. And worse yet, there are no nine-to-five hours, no mandated breaks. Parts of this job can be so brutal…but also really exciting.”
Sora takes a deep breath and nods. “I didn’t expect to feel that way this morning. I think…I think maybe it scared me a little bit.”
“It won’t be that way forever.” Sora’s expression relaxes ever so slightly.
“Can you teach me how to be in two places at once? Because that seems to be a problem I’m going to have.”
I laugh softly and stand to continue working on my pack. “That, sadly, I cannot. What’s conflicting?”
“I have to meet one of the producers tomorrow to shoot some contestant confessionals, but I’m also supposed to drop off the crew’s menu orders at the same time, on the opposite side of the ship. I don’t know how I’m going to do both.”
“I can drop them off,” I say, matter-of-factly.
Her face brightens, and she jumps up. “Really? Oh my gosh, that would helpsomuch!”
“Yeah, it’s no issue.”
As I turn to grab a few cables out of my bag, I can tell she’s thinking about giving me a hug. My smile falters.
“Ohhh, no. No, no. I mean this in the absolute nicest way possible, but for the love of all that is holy, do not hug me. I amnota hugger.”
A laugh erupts from her before she nods and pivots toward the door.
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t dare hug you. But you really are wound tight, Chloe Hill. You need a vacation.”
Or therapy, I think to myself as she disappears from my room, the door swinging shut behind her.
Knowing that I’m not the only one here feeling out of my element lifts my mood a bit, but it’s normal for Sora to feel nervous or uncertain—she’s a newbie to the industry. It’s not so normal for someone like me, who has been at this for nearly a decade, to feel that way.
I glance at my watch and realize that it’s time to head out. But before I can make a move to leave, there’s another sharp knock at my door. I pull it open, brows raised, expecting it to be Sora again—perhaps to force me into some kind of physical show of friendly affection after all.
But it’s Demi’s face glowering back at me instead.
I shiver.
“Uh…hi,” I manage, shrinking back from her blistering gaze.
“I need you—now,” is all she says before turning and stalking off down the hallway. I grab my camera, then swipe a battery off the charger and click it onto the back of the bulky body. I have just enough time to snag my key card and a scrunchie before taking off after her. She’s already halfway to the bank of elevators way down the hall when I catch up and fall into step with her.
