I’ve had a lot of shitty days. But this one is easily taking the fucking cake.
Russell turns, his eyes widening. The woman steps back, holding the baby closer to her chest, eyes darting between me and her—what? Husband? Boyfriend?
Did he really think I was going to sit at his apartment, waiting for him? Russell was under the impression that I really was going to stay like a good girl and wait for him to finish his romp in the park with his babies and this woman.
His partner.His wife.
“Russell—” she says, at the same time he says, brow furrowed, “Jules?”
But both of those are drowned out by me saying, “Fuck you, Russell. And also—Gus asked Santa for a dad, but I’m not so sure he actually wants him. Because that man is you. Gus isyours.”
Chapter 27
Russell
Alena shoots me a look that says,what the hell? And also,are you good?
Instead of shooting her a look back, I take Jules by the elbow and pull her to the side, away from my sister and her kids. Rory is still asleep in the stroller, but Ray is in Alena’s arms, twisting around, wobbling, and trying to get a look at Jules and me.
“Jules,” I whisper, scanning her, seeing a lot that bothers me. First—when I left her at my apartment, she was still in her pajamas, fresh faced. Now, she’s wearing a blouse and slacks, mascara running down her cheeks. “What happened?”
She yanks her arm back away from me and glares defiantly as she crosses her arms over her chest. “What happened is you fuckingran away,and I find you here with?—”
“My sister,” I say, gesturing toward Alena, who is watching this interaction with a hawk-like gaze. “And my niece and nephew.”
Jules looks at the woman, then back at me, then does it again, apparently seeing the resemblance between us. And the fact that Alena is reacting the way she is—surely if that woman was my wife, she wouldn’t be so chill about a woman claiming I had another son.
Jules’ cheeks go pink, and she swallows, taking a step back. I don’t let her retreat. I was wrong to leave like that this morning—I should have just been up-front about why I needed to leave.
But I’m not going to let her run away now, especially when it’s clear that something else is going on with her.
“Why are you dressed up?” I ask, lowering my voice. “Where are you coming from?”
“It’s none of your business,” she cuts back, apparently still angry, and I shake my head, frustration rising up in me again. Today has been a shit-show, and Alena needed me. As much as I wanted to get back to Jules, I couldn’t let my sister go through this alone.
Stepping closer to Jules, looking down at her, holding those whiskey eyes with my own, I ask her, “Really, Jules? You think I would cheat on you? Even in a fake relationship?”
Jules flinches at the wordfake, and I go on, trying to soften my tone, “And you know that’s not—about Gus. You know that can’t be true. I told you.”
Unbidden, the hope of that wish—that Gus could be mine—blows through my body like a blizzard, lodging itself in my ribs and wafting up around my heart in a flurry. It’s stupid and emotional and the exact kind of feeling I’ve been trying to avoid when it comes to that kid.
Strangers commenting on how alike we look. The way he looks at me. How easy it is to talk to him, and the deeper sense of connection I’ve felt with him. Like I can see myself there, in his face and in his head.
Jules crosses her arms, “Well, I’m also tellingyouthat it’s possible. The only other person I was with around that time was Dax, and he had a vasectomy.”
I remember mentions of this man—the one she dated who turned out to have a whole other family. Biting my tongue, I glance back at Alena, who’s sitting on the bench now, rockingthe stroller back and forth. It makes sense that Jules might jump to the worst possible explanation for what she saw, even if it fucking hurts that she would think that of me.
Considering what Alena has gone through today, I think she might even be willing to forgive Jules for the outburst in front of Ray and Rory, too.
But all that doesn’t change the fact that it’s impossible. I saw the results with my own two eyes. Although Margot and I were careful, it’s not like we wereperfect. Sometimes, we were stupid and didn’t use protection. And every single time, we got lucky.
At least, at the time, that’s what we thought. Then, even when we were trying, nothing happened. Even if I hadn’t seen those labs proving my sperm aren’t viable, I’d have been able to draw some pretty accurate conclusions if it was something I’d paid attention to.
Maybe every man just assumes there will be no problems on his end of the thing.
And I was one of them. Now, I know the truth. And I know that means there’s no way I’m Gus’s—or anyone else’s, for that matter—father.
“Jules,” I say, softly, reaching for her shoulder, trying to find a way to get through to her. More than anything, I want to get past this conversation so I can find out what else happened to her today. Why she left my apartment at all, why she didn’t wait for me to come back. “Dax lied to you about being single. I think it’s possible that he lied about the vasectomy.”
