He rests his chin on top of my head when he speaks again. “For the longest time, I never thought I’d make it back here at all. So, I know all too well what you’re feeling.” He loosens his grip on me to hold me by my shoulders, at arm’s length. “But know this now. We can be here whenever you want, for however long you want.” His eyes bore into mine with a soul-deep seriousness as he says those words, and it feels like he wants to be here just as much as I find myself craving to be.
Nodding and sipping my still steaming drink, I look up at him through my lashes. “What’s the plan for today then? I’massuming you have a plan based on the early wake-up singing.” I smirk at his dramatic gesture of mock offense.
“If you must know, I’ve devised the perfect make-sure-Anya-has-the-best-Christmas-ever plan!” He announces this with equally theatrical gesticulations but the sweetest flow of love coursing through our bond curbs the snarky response on the tip of my tongue.
“And before you ask, I’m not telling you the whole plan. That’s part of the fun. You have to spend the next five days going with the Christmas flow, little lady.”
I’m unable to capture my snorted laugh before it escapes and his smile only grows wider.
Planting my hands on my hips I say, “Well, can I at least know what we’re doing today? Or are you going to completely torture me?”
This man actually has the audacity to throw his head back and laugh at me, the sound filling me up and settling in my heart.
“I suppose there’s no harm in telling you that the first thing we’re going to do is make gingerbread houses and start your Christmas movie education. We’ll have to squeeze the movies in while we do some things because there are just so many good ones.”
Rolling my eyes with a smile, I take another heavy gulp of my slowly cooling coffee. As I move around the room to get myself some clean clothes and complete my morning routine in the bathroom, he tells me all about the important things to remember about gingerbread building with the joyous energy of a kid in a candy store.
It smells like Kodi when I walk into Patty’s pretty Christmas kitchen and find everything anyone could ever need to make any gingerbread house their heart desires spread across every available surface. When Kodi mentioned why we needed the kitchen, her eyes lit up in a way that made mine want to water again. I couldn’t help but ask her to join us. The adoration that promptly overwhelmed our bond was almost too much to bear.
It consistently seems like ever since meeting Kodi my emotions decided to exist again, and I find myself being weepy more and more lately. Granted, I’ve never encountered the level of love and kindness that Kodi shows me regularly, but it still feels like a lot, learning to handle these intense emotions.
“Alright, while we build the best gingerbread village that ever existed, we’re going to build on your Christmas movie knowledge. Have you seen any Christmas movies other than the few we’ve watched already?” Kodi begins his sentence strong and silly but ends kind and aware of my holiday insecurities.
When I drop my chin and shake my head, he steps up to me, taking my hands in his and kisses the back of each. “Perfect.” He smiles wide.
“What’s perfect?” I ask, tilting my head slightly.
His smile grows impossibly wider. “That means that your first, and every Christmas movie you ever watch, will be with me. The heir to the North Pole, Christmas throne.”
And just like that I’m tearing up again, but at least I’m not alone this time. Kodi’s mom’s glistening eyes match mine. I offer her a nod and we jump him in a group hug that he happily reciprocates.
With a smiling sniffle, Patty redirects us. “Kodi dear, let’s start our girl with the classics. Put the old Frosty movie on, and then we’ll switch to Rudolph. Anya, have you decided how you’d like to decorate your gingerbread house?”
Kodi’s already moved into the sitting room where we can see the large television from the kitchen and fiddling with the channels.
“I uh . . . I was just going to wing it. I’m usually a pretty intense planner, but Kodi has helped me be less . . . intense. I also wouldn’t even know where to start,” I stammer with a casual shrug.
She tsks me but doesn’t do so degradingly. She does it with a sweet smile on her face as she moves me toward a notebook that I thought was a cookbook. When she flips it open there are hundreds, if not thousands, of recipes and designs. Designs of sugar cookies, gingerbread houses, pies, pie crusts, and things I’m not even sure what they are, but they’re still glorious to look at.
“Not to worry sweetheart, we’ll take care of all your Christmas knowledge from now on.” Her eyes glitter with kindness and love I don’t feel like I deserve. I’ve only known her a few days and I haven’t done anything to earn it.
That’s not how that works, Anirniq. You don’t have to earn love, and I’m sorry you ever felt that way, but that will also be changing. She loves you just as much as I do simply because I love you.
Damn my weepy eyes and loose thoughts that always find their way to Kodi. He sometimes makes me feel as though he can read my mind. The thought should be unsettling, but instead I find an exuberant amount of comfort in it.
With a fresh batch of his mother’s perfect hot cocoa, and a well laid plan—in my own Christmas book that Patty seemed to pull out of thin air—we set to work. Kodi teaches me to melt sugar into a state of caramelization and to use that for the seams of the gingerbread house, citing that most people just use frosting then get mad when their houses fall in.
Once the structure has time to set, we move onto piping on the main icing designs while an animated snowman sings about a magical hat with a bunch of children. While my frosting sets, I set about making my very own snowman for the little house, with his own magic little hat.
In the blink of an eye, Kodi jumps in and smears icing on the side of my face. I gasp in mock outrage, giggling all the while. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, when I move to wipe it away, he wraps me in his big strong arms and licks it off my face. I’m blushing up a storm and he goes ahead and makes me want to hide completely when he whispers, “I could think of a couple of other places I’d like to lick frosting off of you,” in my ear.
Swatting him away, I find a kitchen towel to wipe my face off and ignore the swelling desire in my core long enough to finish my sweet little gingerbread house.
37
Kodi
After having more fun than I’ve ever had making gingerbread houses—because it always felt more like a chore—I manage to pull Anya away from Rudolph and the cookie community we built together, so that we can get something to eat while we wait for the sun to go down. Then it’s time to initiate the second step of my make-sure-Anya-has-the-best-Christmas-ever plan.
