Having never really had friends or boyfriends, I’m not used to feeling territorial over another person. Kodi’s eyes widen in what I interpret to be realization of how it may look from where I’m standing.
I open my mouth to say something, anything really, but I’m interrupted by Carrie. “Anya, could I borrow you for a second?” she asks me, then links her elbow with mine and begins to drag me away. My initial reaction is to shrug her off but with a backwards glance at Kodi, his eyes are wide with worry and a bit of hope as she calls at the boys over her shoulder, “Girl talk. We’ll be back.”
Once she believes we’re a safe distance from eavesdroppers, she grabs one of my hands in each of hers and stares straight into my eyes like she’s trying to read my bones. On a normal day, in my normal world, this would be the strangest thing ever, but since Kodi came into my life, things have gotten consistently more interesting.
“I just want you to know that there’snothingbetween me and Kodi. I swear. We used to hang and out and mess around”—that big green monster threatens to consume me once more—“but he always told me it was nothing. That he didn’t see me that way. We’re only friends and he made it very clear he was waiting for his m . . . person. I really hope that we could be friends, too.”
I’ve always been fairly good at reading people. As she said all of that, there wasn’t a single flinch of her features or dart of her eyes that told me she was telling anything but the truth.
My mouth opens and closes a few times trying to force the words from where they’re lodged in my throat. “I don’t know ifI’m a good friend, I’ve never really had any,” is all that I’m finally able to say. Just raw and complete honesty.
“That’s okay,” she says, beaming at me. “There are no rules for my friendship. I mean other than just being a decent human.” She finishes her statement with a huge hug that I was not expecting. Not being intimately familiar with friendly hugs, I awkwardly pat her on the back.
Returning to where the guys are still waiting on the ice, Kodi’s features are relaxed and relieved. He snatches me back from where Carrie still holds onto my elbow and swats her hand off, causing her to pout, and it makes me laugh out loud.
The guys insisted we all go out for dinner and drinks after the game. We ate an obscene amount of pizza and drank an even more unrealistic amount of alcohol.
The men have somehow remained nearly unphased while Carrie and I are having to be carried out of the bar and grill. Yes, carried. Kodi is carrying me bridal style to his giant mermaid truck—
“It’s not a mermaid truck!” He pleads in offense.
Oops, must have said that part out loud.
“Isn’t it though? It’s the color of a mermaid tail.” My arms are loose and wobbly when I attempt to gesture towards the mermaid scale, colored truck in front of us.
“Nope,” he says confidently, popping the P. “Someday, I’ll show you why that’s the color of my truck,” he whispers cryptically across my ear, causing goosebumps to erupt down both arms, and it’s not because I’m cold.
He must have noticed how my body reacted to him because he stops walking. His face turns that sexy kind of serious he gets when I’m all worked up and trying to hide it.
For now, I’m going to continue to blame the alcohol until I’m ready to admit that the actual reason I reach up and pull his face to mine, kissing him with everything I have is because I have an inexplicable need for him. All the time.
I can’t stop thinking about him. I hate when we can’t see each other. I smile like an idiot when he calls and texts me. He’s the first and last thing I think of every day. For the first time in my life, my entire being doesn’t revolve only around hockey.
I yank my face away from his, my jaw dropping as I stare at him.
I try to shake it all away: the feelings that overwhelm me, the need to touch him, the way my heart beats when he’s around, the way I can’t help but stare at his stupid-beautiful face, the lingering haze of intoxication. But it doesn’t work.
Do I love Kodi?
He’s watching my every move with his eyebrows scrunched at my sudden change in demeanor, completely unaware of my internal dialogue sweeping me into unchartered territory.
The question itself calms me and in a way feels . . . kind of freeing. It’s terrifying, but it also feels like the last piece of a puzzle clicking into place. Everything in my life makes sense with him. A weight settles within me. Not an anxious weight on my chest, or when it feels like my stomach is going to fall out of my body. This is a comforting weight, like a heavy blanket on a sleepless night or a hug from the right person.
Reaching forward while he continues to just watch me, his chest still heaving, I push a lock of his white-blond hair back off his forehead.
“You know what, I think I do.” I admit out loud to myself, confusing the poor man further. The contentment in feeling and admitting all of this is the tip of the scale. My body relaxes immeasurably, and I allow myself to drift into sleep, both the copious amounts of alcohol we consumed and my realization allowing my mind and body to agree, and relax.
13
Kodi
With an absolute raging hard-on, I manage to lift Anya up into my truck and get her buckled in, reclining the seat slightly so her head doesn’t roll around her shoulders while I drive.
Making my way around the bed of my truck to my seat, I mentally run through the last ten minutes of the evening. That kiss. The abrupt end of that kiss. The frantic look in her eyes that melted slowly as she seemed to wage a war with herself. The way she seemed to come to a conclusion about something no one elsewas privy to. Her mysterious declaration, until now, when she fell asleep standing up.
All of that, on top of her bringing up the odd color of my truck. I huff a small laugh as I climb into my seat and the truck rumbles to life when I turn the key.
I’ll tell her someday.
