Cyndr puffs up his chest again, now perched on Cillian’s shoulder, and blows out another burst of fire. I smile, watching the two of them.
“I’m going to talk to her this afternoon,” I say, finally acknowledging his question about my mother.
His smile fades for a moment before returning. He nods and we let it drop. He knows I’ll come to him when I’m ready to talk about it.
I’ve putit off as long as I can. I slowly pull the wind into my chest as the Guardians pull the iron doors open for me. They watch me with sympathetic eyes as I stand there, staring into the dark hallway, unmoving.
When an uncomfortable amount of time has passed, they look at each other.
“Queen—”
I hold up my hand. They both dip their heads towards the floor and give me the time I need to build up the courage to get answers that I don’t know if I want.
When I eventually cross the threshold, fae fire torches along the wall dimly come ablaze providing me with the needed light. I look past barred cell after barred cell before I find my mother in one halfway down the hall.
I stand there, firm as a tree trunk, rooted to the hallway’s stones as she looks back through the bars at me. She looks older here, her thin body clothed in black, washing out her natural coloring.
“Nissa.” My name comes out like a prayer on her lips. Like she isn’t sure I’m really there.
I swallow hard.
When I don’t respond, she stands and walks to the bars. She studies my face for a breeze and then returns her gaze to my eyes. “Do you want to know?” she asks.
I blink back the burning in my eyes.
“No excuses,” she rushes out. “I’m as guilty as the others, but can I tell you why?”
I try to nod, but the movement won’t come. “Is my father actually alive?” I have to know. I don’t want any story or excuse until I know that truth.
A single tear slides down her cheek. “Yes. I can still feel him out there.” She places fingers to her chest. “I don’t know where. But somewhere—he lives.”
I nod the smallest amount, and she stares at me for just a moment. “He loved—loves you and Nova so much. When the High Priestess told the four of us about the prophecy, you could see the pride in his eyes. It filled my heart so full,untilI saw the horror on Isolde’s face.”
She looks to the ground. “I knew something was wrong. But Kiel decided immediately that you would be trained alongside Nova. It was Gaia’s decree, so neither of them questioned Isolde when she said we should keep it quiet. They agreed with her logic about not telling Castara until the four of you were older.” She shakes her head and looks up at me. “I should have spoken up then. I could see in her eyes that she did not like the prophecy. A mother’s intuition maybe. And once we learned about Aiden… I knew she had no intention of letting him take half the kingdom from her children.”
I take in her words. Isolde has been at the center of everything, in everyone’s account. She manipulated everything.
“Then there was an accident…” Tears fill her eyes, and a line forms between my eyebrows. “You were hurt badly.”
What accident? I don’t remember this.
“Isolde had the images removed from your memory,” she explains.
“Why?” It is the first word I’ve gotten out since she started.
“I think Caspien caused it. He was becoming violent even then.” A look of confusion crosses her face. “You fell. To be honest I don’t remember exactly what Isolde said happened. Just that it would be better for everyone if we sent you to the Homestead to recover.”
And I never came back.
“Did you know he killed Nova?” The words rush from my mouth. My entire body shakes, waiting for the answer.
Her eyes go wild, “No! He wanted to be king more than anything. Killing Nova would make no sense. Heneededher.”
“But you warned me.” I narrow my gaze on her.
She nods. “I agreed to send you away, but it was always to keep you safe. And as you got older, it was clear you hated it here and didn’t care about being queen. And I saw just how dangerous Isolde could be. I was terrified when you started looking into Nova’s death. The Vaylors were obviously covering something up. I just didn’t know why. I didn’t want you upsetting the wrong person. And Isolde is easily upset.”
“So it was all out oflove,” I say, jaw tight.
