She turns a little more serious. “You’ll feel the mate bond soon. That always happens when the new Fae king and queen are crowned. I’ve read the histories. After that, I’m sure you’ll get your happily ever after, Nis.”
Very few Fae are divinely blessed with the Goddess’s mate bond. On coronation day, which is also the new king and queen’s majority birthdates, it’s a sign of Gaia’s divine will when the new monarchs feel the bond.
“The bond isn’t some magic that makes you think you love someone.” I throw my hands up, in frustration. “Mates are supposed to bemadefor each other, the perfect half to the other. You can’t just switch them out for someone else last minute. Even if they are twins.” It comes out in a rush as panic returns.
Ophe watches me with wide eyes. As if she can read my thoughts, “And you saw Cillian?”
My heart buries itself deep in my chest at her implication. She knows how I felt about Cillian. She heard the plans that we made the last time we spoke as younglings. And she held me when I cried after he moved on without a word to me.
“The Vaylors think they need me.” I try my best to sound calmer as I voice the thought that’s been spinning through my mind since Isolde dug her fingernails into my arm and told me just to smile. “But what if they don’t? Maybe without Nova, Caspien can just become king and find someone else to love and makeherqueen. Someone who isn’t me.”
“Well, shit.” She leans back with me, thankfully overlooking the fact that I ignored her question.
We lay there in silence for a few minutes, both staring at the cracked ceiling. “They still haven’t told you what happened?”
“No and other than Isolde mentioning ‘an incident’ to me, it was like Nova never existed. Any time I tried to bring it up at the gala, she cut me off and changed the subject, or introduced me to some other Elite.”
We fall into companionable silence again, making me miss my life at the Homestead even more.
“I don’t want to do this, Ophe,” I confess, my voice more tentative than I’d like.
The admission grows in the air between us. I’m worried she’s not going to acknowledge it as the moment stretches on. Maybe I don’t even want her to. It is a selfish, impossible thought. Nova’s unyielding devotion to the crown over everything else always infuriated me, but no one could ever accuse her of being selfish…
Ophe reaches over, entwining our fingers together. “You wouldn’t be able to come back home,” she says, sounding defeated. “But maybe you could leave…”
Rain begins pelting the window of my tiny room. The perfect sunny weather hasn’t returned since Nova’s death, but until now the storms had passed.
“Or maybe you should give Caspien a chance ,” she rushes out, like she believes the weather is some omen of disapproval. “Maybe the Goddess has a plan here.”
The Vaylors have never wanted me, and I definitely don’t want to be one of them. There has to be a way around this.
I sigh. “The Goddess’s plan died with Nova.”
Chapter
Five
NISSA
Ophe and I spend the rest of the morning ignoring the fact that my entire life has been turned upside down. But that feeling in my chest continues to get worse despite my best friend being there.
Ultimately, I decide to take her advice and approach Caspien after the memorial this afternoon. I can share my concerns before doing anything drastic. Maybe he feels the same way about all of this as I do. After all, his mate is the one who died. I can’t imagine he’s thrilled to have some lookalike shoved at him.
I change into a flowy white dress with draped straps and floral lace that peeks out from the neckline. It’s nothing like the stiff white satin shroud my mother had sent for me to wear. Thankfully, Ophe brought me a grief dress from home. An elder returning to their element, or the rare case of an accidental death, is the only time Fae don’t exclusively wear their elemental colors. Instead, we wear white, the presence of all colors, uniting all elements in honor of the deceased.
Ophe and I travel to the Skyborn Chapel separately at the insistence of the Guardians.For my safety.
Entering through the open archway, I take in the stunning Temple of the Wind Elementals. The thin beams that make upthe “ceiling” are covered in a gossamer fabric that’s rippling in the wind, creating a beautiful living pattern. The windows that line the walls are glassless, allowing a gentle breeze to flow across the space. I close my eyes, taking in the comforting melody that fills the room.
“Nissa, darling!” My mother’s grief-laced wail echoes across the chapel over the chimes that are responding to their calling.
My eyes snap open, and she throws herself at me. Every muscle in my body tenses as all eyes in the room turn to take us in.
“Nova would be so thankful that you are here for her,” she says with another wail, drawing even more attention.
I mentally roll my eyes at the theatrics as she clutches me tighter. I know she’s actually upset to have lost her favorite, but this affection for me is all for show. A performance. I wiggle my arms free, adding space between us.
Leaning around her, I scan the seats for Ophe. One of the few human guests, she’s sitting in the back row of the chapel alone with the servants. I spot her just as my mother grips my wrist and begins to drag me towards the front. When I subtly pull my arm back, bringing us to a stop, she wheels on me so fast I stumble back a step. She takes a chilling step towards me, leaning in close so no one else sees her expression. Her white dress makes her blue eyes look like ice.
