My brows knit together at his words, helping me ignore my mind and magic pushing me towards him. “Like Nova? Are you saying Caspien should have protected her?” I hesitate, trying to decide how much to share, before adding, “I know he was cheating on her.”
I expect him to be shocked but instead a sarcastic smirk appears on his lips. I suppose Caspien’s dalliances aren’t much of a secret. Maybe theiragreementwas common knowledge.
My eyes drop to his lips. He dips his head towards me slightly and for a moment I forget what we’re talking about.
Until he clears his throat. “Nova’s death does nothing to benefit Caspien. In fact, it makes his life a lot more difficult. He doesn’t like to be inconvenienced.” His mouth is close enough to feel his words on my lips.
The wind catches in my chest, until his words register.Am I the inconvenience? I blink a few times clearing my mind, shaking away the hurt, “So, what were all the questions about? Why are you looking into Nova’s death?”
“You mean when you were listening in on my private conversation?” When I just smirks back at him, his smile grows wider.
He chuckles. “I’ve missed you.” he says teasingly. My heart beat flutters and the smirk drops from my face.
“You don’t even know me anymore,” I challenge.
“We may not be close, but I do know you.Youhaven’t changed. Always snarky but with the best intentions. You care about others, and while you want to fade into the background, away from all this insanity, you still stand out in the middle of it.”
I shift under his assessment, my cheeks turning pink beneath the ridiculous makeup they cake on me each morning.
“And I know…” His words are slow, cautious, as his hand reaches towards my face. “I know that all this makeup isn’t you.” His thumb presses into my lower lip, nudging it open. “You don’t like it, and youdon’tneed it.”
My heart and my magic flare to life at his touch, an earthquake to my very being. I swallow before I begrudgingly push his hand away. “You’re right about one thing. I think they overdid the makeup. But thanks for the compliment.”
I move to push his hand off the wall, done with this bizarre conversation.
“And I know you didn’t want this life, so I’m sorry you’re here.” My eyes flash with surprise and I slowly look back into his eyes, a regretful expression staring back at me.
I blink a few times, and ask, “Why are you looking into Nova’s death, Cillian?”
He doesn’t hesitate with his answer, “I’m trying to figure out why Gaia is attacking the elemental lands, and now the kingdom. Our magic is being destroyed, and no one seems to care enough to ask why. The pathetic attempt at a synthetic option is failing. Castara won’t be strong enough if we’re attacked. And since that’s apparently now a possibility, someone has to do something to fix this. Nova’s death could be related.”
I tilt my head, taking in his words, “And you’re going to be the one to figure it out?”
His jaw ticks. “I may not be the future king, but I’m still a Vaylor. We’re the chosen family to protect the Fae. Even if Nova’s death isn’t connected to the storms, we owe it to her to find out what happened.”
“You want this life, don’t you?” I say. “Nova was like you. I wasn’t made for this. Not like her.” I pause. “Or you.”
“Except I wasn’t.” he reminds me, lifting a single eyebrow. “You’ll make a great queen, Nissa.Ifthat’s what you want.”
I look at the floor, unsure what to say. I don’t want this but I won’t tell him my plans. I can’t trust him. But anger grows in my gut at the Goddess who is just playing games with our lives. No one is in the position they want to be, except maybe Caspien.How could this all be so messed up? How could there truly be a plan?
Nova shouldn’t be dead, Cillian should be able to help the kingdom as he sees fit, without being questioned as the spare. Hell he should have been considered for King.
And I… I should not be thinking about how much I want to lean forward and press my overdone lips to this male in front ofme. The one that abandoned me years ago. The one that even if I wanted, I couldn’t have.
I look back up at him, “It doesn’t matter what I want. Gaia doesn’t care, as long as we follow this ridiculous cycle of royalty. It doesn’t matter that you would have been a perfect king and that I would rather disappear than have to take this role. We have no say.”
Pain fills his face. And if I didn’t know better, I would believe that I could physically feel his despair.
“And for the record, I missed you too.”
Shock washes across his features. He takes a step back from me and I instantly regret the words.
Chapter
Ten
NISSA
