Frustrated, I set the book atop the desk and finish digging through the drawers. When nothing else stands out, I push to stand, my hand flat on top of the worn leather cover. A strong draft blows through the cracked window, and a tingle of magic shoots up my wrist. I fall back into the chair and lift the book, my eyebrows drawn together.
This time when I tug on the cover, it lifts with ease. The magic holding it shut either wasn’t strong enough to differentiate between Nova and me, or she had spelled it so I could open it as well.Wouldn’t she have taken something precious enough to lock with her if she was running? Was she leaving it for me?
I quickly flip through the pages as I lean back into the floating high-backed chair behind the desk. Nova’s entries are all written in beautiful swirling calligraphy but are nothing but notes upon notes about her lessons and what failings she felt she needed to work on. Or she was told she needed to work on.
I scan a few more pages before growing impatient with all the criticism I read. Thumbing further into the book, I skim page after page. My eyes finally catch on an entry where the words are scribbled messily, absent of her normal fine script.
I pause, reading the rush of thoughts so out of character that Nova couldn’t even stop to correct her mistakes on the page. A confrontation with Caspien after finding a female leaving his room.
Any frustration I had with my sister splinters, leaving the fracture raw and aching. Each beat of my heart feels as if it rubs against my chest painfully. This must be it. The reason she was leaving. She had devoted her life to be the person they asked herto be, and to this male, the person Gaia “blessed” her with. Just for them to still tear her apart after so many years, and for him to betray her so grievously.
The door to the study swings open, hitting the wall heavily, halting me in rereading the passage. A petite girl stumbles in with a pile of boxes so high I can’t even see her face. When she lowers them, I see her rounded ears. A human servant. Her eyes lock on me and all color drains from her cheeks.
She quickly bows her head towards the floor. “Princess Nissa, I apologize. I’ll come back later.” She sets the tottering boxes on the floor and starts to retreat.
“Wait, what are you here to do?” I ask, eyes on the stack of boxes.
“I was asked to clean out this room.” She stands straight as a board, formality coating each word.
Of course they would clean out Nova’s stuff—she isn’t coming back. But it still feels like an invasion of her privacy. Which is ridiculous as I sit here holding open her private journal in my lap.
“Did you know my sister well?” I ease the cover shut.
“I’m Dahlia, her personal maid, your Highness,” the girl says, offering little.
“Can you tell me about her before she died? Was she upset about something?”
A quick glance up at me. Then her focus returns to the floor. “She was acting normal the last time I saw her. Then, she was last seen alive at your mother’s estate, not here.”
I nod to myself at the confirmation of what Niko briefed me on. “Were Prince Caspien and she happy?” I probe, curious about others' perspectives on their relationship.
The maid’s eyes fall on the notebook. I immediately place my hands flat over the book.
“As happy as you would expect.” She gestures at my lap. “Prince Caspien had become less inconspicuous, which frustrated the princess, but she wasn’t really surprised by it.”
My eyebrows must have jumped all the way to my hairline. “So the cheating was ongoing?” I asked, confessing my personal invasion of Nova’s privacy.
It was the girl’s turn to look surprised. “Of course, Princess. They had an agreement. But your sister knew it would all work out once the divine mate bond connected them.”
My mind is struggling to keep up, trying to take in what she’s saying and reconcile it with the journal entry. It did add up. Nova’s journal expressed her hurt, but she focused more on Caspien’s lack of discretion than the actual act of cheating on her.
“Was my sister seeing anyone else?” Maybe she was running to be with him.
“No, your Highness. Princess Nova was devoted to her role, waiting for Prince Caspien to love her. But he never looked at her like Prince Cillian looks at you.”
I blink at her.What, like he wants nothing to do with me?I almost snort.My bafflement must show.
The girl gives me a sheepish look. “I apologize if I overstepped. I shouldn’t have said anything.” A blush pinkens her cheeks. “It’s just Princess Nova always said the prince was only pretending to like those parasite princesses.”
It’s the term the servants use for the females who shamelessly flirt with the princes for personal gain. The same females that Cillian moved on from me with. But apparently Caspien liked to have his fun with them too. “Caspien or Cillian?” I’m getting confused.
“Prince Cillian. She said his interest in those other females fled like the wind as soon as you left.” The girl's voice is filled with whimsy, a small smile gracing her face.
I realize I’m gaping at her when she starts to shift between her feet. The only words I can find slip out. “Prince Cillian has barely spoken to me for years.” And my sister definitely never shared any of these thoughts with me.
Not that I’ve tried to approach him either. In fact, we always do our best to avoid each other during my annual visits now.
For half a second, I remember the sweet, studious young male I once knew. The boy who wanted to spend time with me, not because of who I was but because he was interested inme, not “Princess Nova’s sister.” I shake my head slightly as if I could literally remove the thought from my head. It's a ridiculous thought. Cillian said it himself in the woods,“You’re just alike...”
