I release his balls and pull my fingers out. Micah shudders and sags into the bed. I wipe my hands on the sheets, then open the condom wrapper.
My hand is unsteady as I roll the condom on.
Unsteady from arousal, now, instead of repressed rage.
I quickly lube myself up, then get into position. “You are close? You can come as soon as I’m inside you, Mishka.”
He breathes out a sound of relief, and he nods quickly. “Okay. I… Okay.” He lets out a nervous-sounding laugh. “Can that be now, please?”
“Yes,” I say as I thrust into him.
I don’t know why it surprises me that his reaction is instantaneous. He wails, his hips jerking, as he comes. I feel the heat of his release against my skin, and he thrashes in the bonds as I start to fuck him.
If I’d been younger, it might have been enough to sendmeover the edge, the way he tightens and squeezes and writhes for me. I watch his face throughout it all, my own body so warm now that I must be as red as he is.
When his orgasm ends and his cock begins to soften, I reach forward to push the mask off his eyes.
He blinks up at me, his eyes dazed.
“Should I pull out?” I ask, unsure about the etiquette. He must be oversensitive now.
“No!” he says immediately, shaking his head. “Please don’t. Please, I want…” He huffs out a breathless sound that I realize is a laugh. “Fuck me?” he pleads.
He laughed for me.
He’s smiling for me.
I nod, returning the smile, and push into him again. I want to go slow, but my own balls are tight and need coils at the pit of my belly. It only takes a few more thrusts before my orgasm overtakes me, and I come inside him.
No, into the condom.
But I want to take him bare.
Another thing that requires far too much trust.
I ride out my orgasm, Micah tightening his hole for me. It’s so good, and so perfect, and it washes away the worst of the day.
It’s only when I’m starting to come down, when my cock has softened too much to remain inside of him, that I look back at his face.
There’s only bliss there, no lingering traces of fear or apprehension.
I pull out, gripping the condom so I don’t spill anything over Micah. “You wait here, Mishka,” I say. “I’ll grab towel for us.”Thetowel?Atowel? Whatever. I don’t care about correct grammar right now.
Nodding, Micah rests back against the bed, his eyes drifting closed.
I hurry to the bathroom so I can dampen a washcloth to clean him up with. When I return, he’s languid and relaxed, and he opens his eyes to watch me as I carefully wipe away the remnants of his own cum from our bodies.
“You were good,” I tell Micah. “I needed that, but I didn’t know I needed it.”
I didn’t realize that making somebody else feel good could give me such inner peace. I know it won’t last, but for tonight? I’ll take it.
“I needed it too,” he responds softly as I untie him from the bed. He stretches out, his face and chest still flushed red. “Thank you, Ilya.”
“Thank you, Mishka,” I answer.
I’d wanted to claim him the moment I laid eyes on him.
Now, I know he deserves better than me.
