“Well”—I puffed out my chest in an attempt to gather confidence that I didn’t feel—“first, call me Emma, and I actually want to know how I can help you?”
He looked at me in confusion.
“Help me?”
“Yes.” I indicated my obvious-to-me farm wear and continued,“I’m planning to stay on the farm for the time being, and I want to do my part.”
“Miss Emma, I don’t think—” He shook his head.
“I learn quickly, and I’m a hard worker. I don’t want any special treatment. I want to learn how the farm works, so where can I start?” I grinned at him. “I won’t take no for an answer.”
“Okay, Miss Emma, if you’re sure.” He shrugged with an expression that was a mixture of skepticism and fear.
“Yes, Ernesto.” I nodded. “I’m sure.”
I’d never been more grateful for a sunset than I was when I stumbled into the house after my first day. My body was caked with mud, dirt, grass, and I didn’t want to know what else. The last thing I ingested voluntarily was a cup of coffee this morning. The smell that clung to me like a second skin made even the thought of eating impossible. Another explanation for my lack of appetite could have been the pound of dust, dead bugs, and other debris floating around the barn I ingested while I was doing one of Ernesto’seasychores called “cobwebbing.”
A two-month-old calf had kicked me in the thigh during feeding time. All of the work gloves on the farm were so big that I’d lost two pairs in a vat of manure, along with four acrylic nails and my smartwatch. My arms were covered in scratches. My feet were completely wet and sweaty. Plus, for reasons that made no sense to me, my toes were going numb. I barely registered that Dan had answered mychess move from this morning as I passed the study. He’d captured one of my bishops, presumably for revenge. In the process, he’d left both of his rooks vulnerable. Too bad I was too tired and too sore to do anything about it.
The morning had barely begun when I’d realized exactly what Dan was trying to tell me about my outfit. He probably predicted how my first day was going to go. He’d probably hoped that once I got a taste of what life on a farm was really like, I’d give up and go back to Atlanta. God knows the thought crossed my mind during the third and fourth time I slipped and landed flat on my ass while mucking out stalls. The problem was that I didn’t have anything to go back to in Atlanta. I’d lost my job and my boyfriend, and I felt like my life had no direction. I refused to run home with my tail between my legs, but I knew I couldn’t endure another day like today.
Tears blurred my vision as I slowly peeled myself out of the sixty-dollar T-shirt and the one hundred forty–dollar leggings, which I deposited directly into the trash can. I showered until the hot water ran out, which didn’t take long, but the smell still lingered—possibly just in my imagination. I only had the strength to pull on a cotton sports bra and panties before I flopped across the mattress. My tears had given way to sobs when I heard the knock on my bedroom door.
After a cleansing breath, I sniffled and cleared my throat.
“Yeah?” I called to the closed door.
“All right, Emma?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“I made some soup for dinner, if you’re hungry.”
“No, thank you.” My stomach gave a traitorous growl in disagreement. “I ate something earlier. Good night,” I quickly added, hoping he’d get the message.
“All right. It’ll be in the fridge, if you change your mind.”
I didn’t respond.
“Oh, Ernesto was able to find your watch.” I sensed the slightest hint of amusement in his voice. “He said he cleaned it as best he could. You’ll barely even notice the smell.”
“Could you just leave it outside the door?” I shouted.
“Sure.” His response was followed by the faint sound of my watch being placed on the floor. “You sure you’re all right?”
No, I’m not all right. I’m terrible. My life is crashing down around me. I’m lonely, confused, angry, and so fucking sore. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I’m not in control and I don’t know how to fix it.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I called out, swallowing the giant lump in my throat as my eyes stung with tears again. “Good night, Dan.”
A weighty silence filled the space between us.
“Good night, Emma.” The shadows of feet outside lingered for a few long moments before they disappeared.
CHAPTER FIVE
My entire body was still sore, and the scratches on my arms felt tight and itchy. In the middle of the night, I’d woken up, charged my watch—after scrubbing it first—and taken another long shower. I deposited the bag containing the clothes I’d worn yesterday—including the soiled pair of Givenchy tennis shoes that Max scored for me from one of her connections—in the dumpster outside. Yet I still couldn’t escape the smell.
It was indescribable.
