“Eventually. Right now, just Blake and I are dating, but we’re hoping to date Kane if he’s up for it.”
Axel’s expression doesn’t change. I didn’t expect it to since he’s always supported me a hundred percent, but it’s still nice to see. “No more hiding, then? Blake’s out?”
“Not yet.” I shake my head. “Blake’s still got some concerns, not just the working with kids thing, that he has to come to terms withbefore we go public. Plus, we don’t want to overwhelm Kane with relationship talk, so we’re just hanging out casually for now.”
Axel scratches the bridge of his nose, almost as if he’s stalling to search for the best way to object. “You mean you want Kane to be part of a trio when he doesn’t know you and Blake are a duo?”
I flex my jaw defensively, ready to retort, though I have to admit hearing it phrased that way sounds pretty bad. How do I explain that it’s not what he thinks?
“Yeah, it sounds shitty. I’ll give you that. It’s not meant to be, though. Blake and I both really like him, and we want him to be with us. This lifestyle won’t be easy, so we’re trying to work up to the dating part.”
“By fucking?” He arches a brow.
“Like you didn’t start off just fucking Lennon before you fell for him?” I match his look.
Axel closes his eyes and lets out a heavy breath. “Fair enough. But you yourself just said this lifestyle is hard, and your boyfriend is still in the closet. If he won’t come out for you, what makes you think he’d come out for youandKane? And what happens when Kane finds out you haven’t told him the truth?”
All valid points, which I’m trying not to dwell on myself. But there’s no denying the potential for one or more of us to get hurt if we aren’t on the same page. I only hope we’re working toward that by first exploring the physical, which like I said, worked pretty well for Axel.
“I know it’s not ideal, but I’m balancing things the best way I know how.” I pop my jaw. “I’ve been the third before. No matter how much the other two try to convince you otherwise, you still search for ways to make sure you fit rather than just being yourself, and I don’t wantKane to go through that. I don’t want him questioning his place with me and Blake.”
Axel drops his hands to his sides, the plans all but forgotten. “That makes sense in a really roundabout way, but it’s still being less than honest to a person you want to have something serious with. And I know I’m not exactly an expert since Lennon’s my first relationship, but I can’t help thinking these secrets could really burn you, Jace. Don’t fool yourself into thinking they won’t.” Axel shakes his head, a solemn warning. “Are they worth it?”
“Yeah.” I let my head fall back against the wall. “Yeah, I think they are.”
“Okay.” He sighs, nodding his head slowly. “Okay, I’ve got your back. How can I help?”
“For now, just don’t say anything. The three of us have some shit to work out, and it’d be a whole lot easier to do it ourselves minus whatever gossip might be going around.”
“Blake’s trying to make his new roommate and new boss feel comfortable in a new town. Got it.”
“Thank you.” A weight I didn’t realize I’d been carrying lifts off my shoulders. For all of three seconds.
“Do they make beds that big?” Axel’s head tilts to the side, pondering.
“What?”
“You’re three grown men. I mean, Kane’s a little on the shorter side, but still. Lennon and I can take up a full king. How the fuck do the three of you fit on one bed?”
“We fit,” I insist, just to shut him up.
“Who goes where? Do you take turns in the middle? And what if the middle person has to take a piss during the night? They’d have to climb over someone.”
“You heard the part where I said we’re not dating yet, right? As in, sleeping arrangements haven’t been established.”
“Pfft.” He waves a dismissive hand. “I’m pretty sure this issue will come up day one, so you should think about…Oh shit.Who gets to ride shotgun? They don’t make cars with those giant bench seats anymore. Somone has to be the child that sits in the back.”
“Dick.” I shove Axel’s shoulder as he cracks up laughing, but I can’t stop myself from joining in and wishing, if the three of us become a reality, everyone accepts us as well as Axel has.
Chapter eighteen
Kane
Carter’s office is beautiful. So much so, that I’m a little worried he’ll have to call in a cleaning crew after I leave, given that I’ve got dirt in every crack, crevice, and joint on my body. Perks of working outdoors.
I take a seat in the leather chair he gestures to, facing him over the expanse of his cherry wood desk. It’s framed by a massive window overlooking Katah Vista mountain. I suppose if you're not going to work outside, this view is the next best thing.
Wiping my sweaty palms on my shorts, I wait for him to finish his call. Carter didn’t make me nervous the first time we met, but something about the antique desk between me and his commanding tone has my stomach in knots. Or maybe it’s not the man himself but the fact I slept with his employee—myemployee, twice now—that has me off kilter.
