“How long are you in town for?” It’s a lame question after the intensity of what we just did, but now that we aren’t connected, partof me wonders if I’m the only one that felt it. Acting casual feels like the safest thing to do right now.
Jace shrugs on the robe as I put my junk away and stick my arms through the sleeves of my shirt. “I don’t know yet. Could be a few days, could be a helluva lot longer.”
I pause with my shirt midway to my head. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” Jace casts me a tentative smile as he runs his hand through his hair. “Axel’s all in with Lennon—bought property and everything—and he’s got this plan to run some sort of training camp for kids in between competitions. He wants me to help him with it.”
“Axel’s… He’s not worried about having a boyfriend and working with kids?”
“I don’t think it’s crossed his mind.”
“Well, he is the reigning motocross champ, so I guess his resume might outweigh any doubts about his personal life.”
“Maybe.” Jace shrugs. “But maybe if he can do it, you can too.”
I’m not nationally ranked in mountain biking, so Axel and I aren’t on the same playing field, but it’s a nice thought. My lips threaten to crack into a smile, so I tug the shirt over my head before Jace can see it. “Think you’re gonna do it? Help Axel with this project I mean.”
Jace’s eyes are glued to the belt on the robe as he twirls it in his fingers. “That’s actually why I’m here. I need to go over the plan, take a look at the property he has in mind. Get your thoughts…” His gaze snaps to mine.
“Mine?” I point to my chest.
“This is your turf.” He lifts a shoulder. “I wasn’t sure how cool you’d be with me coming here.”
My turf?I cross my arms over my chest and stare him down, feeling betrayed. “What are you trying to say? That I don’t want any competition for dudes?”
He shakes his head slowly back and forth. “I’m saying I didn’t want you to think I’d expect anything from you if I move here. But after that…” He holds his breath as if he’s not sure about his next words. “After that I don’t think I could live here without pursuing you. I don’t know what that would look like since we’re in two different places with our sexual status, but I’m down to figure it out. If you are.”
Holy Shit.“Are you saying you want to date?” Despite wishing for more after our last encounter, I wasn’t really expecting it to happen, least of all a week later.
Jace licks his lips appreciatively. It’s sexy, although I’m not sure he means it to be. “I don’t know what to call it,” he says as he sits back down on the table. “I haven’t been in one place long enough to date anyone, and you’re pretty private when it comes to this.” He draws an imaginary line between the two of us. “But if I live here, I’d want to see you.”
“Yeah?” It’s damn near impossible to keep the grin off my face.I can’t believe this is happening.After walking away from him, and then Kane, both of whom it felt kind of wrong to leave, I was starting to wonder if I was going to be single forever. Now that Jace is here, suggesting something more than a casual fuck… It feels like things are falling into place, just like I held out hope they would one day.
“You are kind of the only dude I know here, except for Axel.” Jace brings me back to our conversation. “And besides, you’re a great fuck.” He shoots me a sly grin as his eyes take an exaggerated tour of my body, though it’s impossible to miss the pink that creeps up his neck as he does.
I can’t help laughing at his obvious attempt to play it cool. “So, you want my dick?”
“Obviously.” He gives me a mock eye roll. “But I’d like someone to hang out with, too. If you’re cool with that. We can figure the other shit out as we go, right?”
Jace reaches for my hand, the same sweet gesture he made that first night when we were talking about how we live our lives, and a stark contrast from his typically confident persona. It makes me wonder if he feels starved for affection, too. I guess I assumed since he has Axel, his situation might be better somehow. But right now, with our fingers linked together, I get the sense there’s a part of him that wants more than just someone to talk to.
“Have you got a place to stay tonight?” My voice sounds almost raspy as he runs his thumb along mine.
“Are you offering?” He tilts his head up to meet my gaze.
“I am. As long as you don’t have other plans.”
“That won’t cause issues for you? Small town talk and all?” He bites the corner of his lip, not quite hiding the ghost of a smile that tugs at it.
Shit!I’ve been so wrapped up in the idea of him I forgot about playing it safe. I may have just scored a job that doesn’t involve working with kids, but at the moment I’m still coaching the little ones, and I’m no Axel. I don’t have a professional biking career that might help people overlook the fact I like to share my bed with men, so I’m not exactly free of that particular concern.
Plus, if Jace lives here full time and we’retogether, I’ll have to have the conversation about my sexuality with Ryder sooner rather than later, and I’m really dreading how he’ll react. He’s in such a dark place after losing his brother, I’m pretty sure he’ll feel betrayed when he learns my secret. Under normal circumstances, I think he’d understand why I was silent for so many years, but grief isn’t rational,and I’m genuinely concerned learning the truth will break the fragile relationship we still have.
All told, my reasons for staying in the closet are still there regardless of how many other queer people now call Katah Vista home. But for the first time in my life I have a reason to consider coming out. And he’s not downplaying those fears.
Or rather, he’s not downplaying the one he knows about. Ryder is another story, one I’ll have to fill him in on eventually, if we get to that point. For now, it seems like Jace is both interested and willing to move at my pace. I’d be a fool to pass that up.
“I’ve got a spare room…” I trail off.
