I remember finding the book behind the bakery, the cookie cutter attached, and my heart swelling.The fire starting, and Humbug rescuing me for real.However, finding out he led Trina to my doorstep in the process made me cautious.
But as sure as anything, I know that’s not what is bothering me tonight.Now that she’s behind bars, I wonder if he’ll ever get his divorce and be free of her.In jail or not, Trina’s still his wife.
Chapter 22
Carol
The nights at the Executioners’ clubhouse hum like I used to.Not Christmas Carols.Engines rumble, men laugh in deep, rough bursts, someone curses loud enough to shake the vents.I start bartending to feel useful.
Later, I lie in my room with the tiny Christmas tree glowing faint gold, the heater humming weakly, and the baby rolling slow under my ribs like he’s trying to find the warmest corner to settle into.
There’s a weight on the nightstand I’ve been ignoring for days.The leather-bound journal Humbug gave me before the fire burned everything else down.
I haven’t opened it.
Not until tonight.
A folded page sticks out like he wanted me to notice it eventually.
I open it.
His name for me is scribbled across the top.
Peppermint
His handwriting looks grouchy, like it was carved into the page with frustration and nerves.
Peppermint,
I don’t know how to say this out loud.Maybe writing it down makes it real before I screw it all up again.
I lied to you because I thought I was protecting you.Truth is, I was protecting myself.You made me feel like more than a bastard with a patch and a past.And I didn’t know how to live up to that.
I told myself letting you go was mercy.Told myself you’d be safer without me, without Trina, without the club, without the shadows I drag behind me.
But when you walked away, the whole world went quiet in the worst way.Couldn’t sleep.Couldn’t breathe right.Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the look on your face when I let you down.
Trina showed up one night, drunk.She tried to climb back into my life.I almost let her.Not because I wanted her, but because feeling nothing was easier than feeling everything, I felt for you.
But she touched me, and all I could see was your face.Your hands.Your laugh.The way your eyes soften before you kiss me.I shoved her out and realized I’d crossed a line I couldn’t come back from.
So, I bought you this journal.Figured if you didn’t want me, at least you’d have some place to put the parts of yourself you shouldn’t have to bury.
But I’m begging you now, give me a chance to earn back what I lost.Not your pity.Not a free pass.Just a chance.
I don’t know how to be the man you deserve, Peppermint.But I want to learn.
— Jack
The words blur as tears pool, warm and surprising.This is the man who carried me out of a burning bakery.The man who lied to me, yes, but the only one who’s ever made me feel like I wasn’t alone in the world.
I flip to the blank page across from his letter and pick up the pen he tucked inside.
Jack,
You think you break everything you touch, but you didn’t break me.I left because I was scared.Not of you, but of how deeply I already loved you.
Your lie showed me the truth.That I had been living a lie.Not with you, but in this town, with Blake.Lying to myself.Leaving, I thought I was leaving lies behind.
