He doesn’t look at me when he answers.“Being away from you was like serving time, and I didn't commit any crime.”
“That’s not an apology.”
“No,” he says.“It’s the reason for one.”
The words hang there, heavy, honest.
He turns toward me then, eyes lined from too many sleepless nights.“I lied because I thought I could keep you.You deserved better than club business, better than what I am.But you wanted truth, so here it is, I can’t change where I come from.I can only fight like hell to be the man you see when you ain’t mad at me.”
Something in me cracks.“And if I can’t forgive you?”
He nods slowly.“Then I’ll still make sure you and the baby are safe.Even if it means watchin’ you build a life that ain’t got room for me.”
I hate him a little for saying it that way, steady, self-damning, but mostly I hate how much it sounds like love.
“Get some sleep,” I whisper, and leave him to the snow.
Morning comes, gray and mean.Evervale’s lost its sparkle, or maybe it’s me.Maybe my eyes are working for once.No more candy-cane-colored glasses.
Sugar shoves me toward the shower, then toward a plate of toast I can barely choke down.
Humbug comes to the door.“You coming?”he asks, like I’ll say yes.
Sugar gives me a look.
“Sugar says I can stay, as long as I need to.”
“Then I’m staying too.I’ll camp out in the truck,” he says, daring us to argue.
Sugar does in a huff.“On my property?”
“You owe the club.You can take it up with Nick.”
“I don’t owe that ol’ man shit,” she says.
But I notice the crack in her voice.She’s scared.
Looking between them, I don’t want to bring any trouble to my friend.“Where we goin’?”I ask Humbug.
“Back to Evervale Executioners.Lil’ Nick wants a word with you.Club business.”
My stomach twists.“They won’t want me there.Not after I told the whole bar their business.”
“They’ll listen,” he says.“I’ll make sure.”
Sugar speaks up, “You don’t have to go.”
My eyes fall to Humbug.“I'm not certain if I can ever forgive you.”
“I’m taking you to the club to protect you.Not because I think forgiveness isn’t earned.”Holding up his hands he steps back.“Ain’t plannin’ to be in your hair.It’s just the safest place until Trina is… contained.”
I nod.“If anything happens, I’ll be back, Sugar.”
Humbug schools me on the ride.“Don’t speak unless spoken to.Not in this first meeting.You’re on shaky ground with the club.”
“Okay,” I say.“But why do I want to stay with a bunch of bikers who don’t like me?”
“Trina’s still out there.”
