My dearest Harry,
It seems like not long ago I was writing to tell you the good news. Now I must deliver the bad.
I lost the baby.
My heart is broken.
Please come see me soon.
I need you.
All my love,
Grecia
14
Callum
When I returnfrom La Puissance, I move through the hallways in a daze, brushing off a request from Dom for a sparring session in favor of locking myself up in my room with a bottle of whisky. I sink into the armchair in front of the stone fireplace, my body satiated but heavy. I pour myself a drink, leaving the bottle within easy reach on the low wooden table beside me.
But I can’t even enjoy the fine liquor; too many thoughts and feelings whirl through my mind.
I can’t believe I lost control with Lady Caterine. I could barely make it a few days before giving in and losing myself in front of her. She promised not to take advantage of me, but I don’t know if her word can be trusted.
No. That’s not quite true. Things may be tenuous between us, but I don’t think she would manipulate me without my consent.
The more I think about her, the more I trust her, find myself wanting to open up to her. Those feelings alone could indicate that she’s already been twisting my emotions.
But she didn’t twist anything at that orphanage. To think, what I saw today was the best of it. Caterine’s childhood was spent in an even more dangerous situation. I cannot even imagine the horrors she hinted at for the Gifted children living in the other provinces.
I toss back the whisky I filled my glass with, pushing the bottle to the side.
Perhaps I have been wrong about the Gifted. Perhaps I have been wrong about everything.
Perhaps Lady Caterine is messing with my head.
Perhaps I’m letting her.
I roll the empty glass between my fingers, the raised edges of the crystal cutting into my palm when my grip tightens.
Am I really going to let the words of one woman deter me from what I have always known to be right?
It isn’t just her words, an internal voice protests. It’s the words of my uncle and of my sister. It’s the words of my mother. It’s what I saw with my own eyes today at that orphanage. Children who had been abandoned by their parents. An orphanage forced to rely on the kindness of its former charges in order to feed and educate children who have done nothing wrong.
I push out of the armchair and stride to my bathing chambers, running the tub full of cold water. A few hours remain before I need to return to La Puissance. And in those few hours, I need to decide what kind of ruler I am going to be. I need to decide what kind of man I want to be.
—
I arrive backat the club later than I intended. I’ve been warring with myself, trying to find a single scenario where I don’t come out of this completely fucked.
It’s clearer now than ever that I must be the one to kill my fatherand represent the Scotan province in this election. Never did I imagine that decision would be the easiest one I would have to make.
Lady Caterine opens the door for me, dressed in nothing but a few scraps of lace, her silk robe tied loosely around her curves. Her face is painted, and I almost wish she’d left it bare. Something tells me it’s more to her than just makeup.
Perhaps she has spent the hours we’ve been apart arguing with herself as well.
She guides me into the room, to a chair at the dining table, handing me a glass of whisky as I sit. “I want to hear more about you, Your Highness. I feel like you got to see a part of my history today. Now I want to have the chance to see part of yours. What is your father like, Callum?”
