If he insists on staying with her, at least ensure they get married.
Let me know his decision.
August
31
Cate
The hours afterI killed Harold passed in a blur. At some point Bianca arrived. At some point Alex showed up. At some point I was moved to another location and reunited with my sister, who was awake and on the road to recovery herself. Bianca stitched me up, providing the bare minimum since my injury wasn’t life-threatening and she was expending her Gift saving the others. She told me Callum was going to be fine, he just needed rest. At that point, I finally allowed myself a moment to relax. He’d fallen back asleep shortly after our conversation, but just seeing him open his eyes assured me of the truth of Bianca’s prognosis.
I sit with Andra in the room she’s been given at the Reids’ castle—already she’s looking better, her color improved and a hint of light returned to her eyes. She doesn’t bother to ask me how I’m doing.
“Do you think the rest of the club is going to be okay?” I ask her, partly because I want to know what she thinks and mostly to distract myself from the thoughts that have been plaguing me since myknife found its way into Harold’s chest. Our last few whispers to each other run on a constant loop through my mind. At least he died knowing that I loved him. At least we got to have a few short moments with both of us knowing the truth.
Andra rests her head on my shoulder. We’re sitting side by side on her bed even though there are plenty of more spacious and comfortable options in her opulent room. Somehow, we seem to blend into one when the situation calls for it. “I don’t know, Cate,” she says. “I don’t know what happens to La Puissance without Harold there to take care of her.”
I fight back the sob that threatens to leap from my throat every time I think of what I stole from this world, what I stole from Andra, who never got to even speak to him as his true daughter. “I still can’t believe so many chose her side. How could all of those Gifted not see what she was doing to them?”
She searches for my hand among the pile of blankets crowding the bed. “Lady M was there for them when they needed someone most. It can be scary to leave the only real home you’ve ever known, Cate.”
I scoff, not so willing to excuse their violent behavior. It’s easier to place some of the blame on them rather than face the truth that I am the one who caused all this. “You don’t have to tell me that. I did it. You did it.”
“It’s different for us.” She pokes me in the side, hitting my ticklish spot like a bull’s-eye. “You have the financial resources and I have the knowledge that we’re going to be okay. And we have each other. Most of the girls at the club don’t have that, let alone the other Gifted. Besides, our friends came through for you when it really mattered.”
I poke her right back in her own ticklish spot, though I makesure to keep my prod gentle as she is still looking frailer than I would like. “They know we would help any and all of them if they asked for it.”
“You of all people should understand how difficult it is to ask for help.”
I let her comment simmer for a minute before I respond. “I suppose that’s fair.”
“We have another sister,” she says softly. It’s not the first time one of us has uttered the sentence. First in wonder, now more in awe tinged with apprehension.
“We need to find her, as soon as you’re feeling up to it.” As much as I want to learn about this third one of us, as many questions as I have about Lady M’s intentions for the future, the last thing I want is for Andra to strain herself when she’s finally on the road to healing.
“We will.”
We sit with a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Andra pulls her head from my shoulder so I can see her eyes, mirrors of my own. “Don’t push him away, Cate.”
I toy with a thread on the blanket covering the bed so I don’t have to look at her. “I don’t know what you mean.”
I don’t have to be looking at her to know she is rolling her eyes. “Cate, you are my sister, and I love you more than anything on this earth. I also know you better than anyone on this earth. And you are incapable of letting yourself be loved without either holding some part of yourself back or running away from it.”
I raise my chin stubbornly. “I let you love me.”
Her eyes narrow and for a minute she looks more like me than herself. “When was the last time you let me take care of you?”
“I’m the older sister, it’s my job to take care of you. Besides, weboth know that you’ve always been in a more precarious position than me.”
It’s her turn to scoff. “Because I was born two whole minutes after you?”
“Because your Gift is much more valuable than mine. Much more valuable than just about anyone’s. I’ve taken care of you because it’s my job and because I love you.” And because the thought of losing her, of ever not having her by my side, is too much to bear.
She softens her voice. “I love you too, you know that. Just as you know somewhere deep down inside that stubborn old soul of yours that I don’t need you to take care of me.” She knocks my shoulder with hers. “And don’t try to deflect. This is about you and Callum.”
“Callum and I had a week of fantastic sex, but it was all merely an arrangement. We both know we can’t be good for each other in the long run.” It stings just to say the words, to pretend like what’s between the two of us is merely physical, like our Bond no longer exists. I’ve been trying to convince myself of that for days now, pushing down the urge to touch him, to be with him until the itching need for him dies down. I doubt it will ever fully dissipate completely, but for now, the lingering pain of missing him is bearable. I know that he needs that space from me if he is going to figure out what’s truly best for him, best for this election and the country.
“He’s a good man, Cate, and you would be wise to give this a real chance. Open yourself up to him. You’re so wrapped up in everyone else’s vulnerabilities that you forget to show your own.”
