“So he’s already doing better than your first two blind dates. Usually it doesn’t take this long for Mimi to make a successful match. You must be a special case.” The teasing lilt in her voice takes away the sting of her words.
“Haha.” I take a tray of muffins from the cooling rack and head toward the front of the bakery. I have zero desire to continue talking about Noah and even less desire to be forced to examine my own feelings about the date.
I’m transferring the muffins to the display case when the door to the bakery opens. “We’re not actually open just yet,” I say without looking up from my tray.
“I’m not here for a muffin, though I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to slip me one on my way out.” Ben greets me with a sheepish smile, his hands shoved in the front pockets of his jeans.
“Hi.” My chest flutters, and there’s that spark that I was looking for earlier.
Fuck.
“Hi.”
For a second, we just look at each other, until I finally clear my throat and pull my eyes from his. “What can I do for you?”
He takes a few tentative steps closer to the counter. “Mimi sent me to see how your date with Noah went.” He can’t hide the grimace, though his face looks like he’s trying to, scrunching up like he smelled something rank.
Ah Mimi. So transparent.
“That was nice of her.”
Ben’s smile is genuine, unlike my sentiment.
There’s another few seconds of silence.
“Do you actually want to know how my date with Noah went?”
“Do you want to tell me?”
“I don’t know what I want anymore, Ben.”
“Other than to go home?”
For the first time, the thought of returning to my old life isn’t as appealing as it once was. But I know I can’t stay in Heart Springs forever. This isn’t real life, and at some point, something has to give.
“I do still want to get home. And I did make a second date with Noah.” I soften my voice, as if that might stop him from hearing me.
“Good. That’s good.” His tone is flat and unreadable.
I shake out a bag and slip a muffin inside. “Thanks for checking in on me.”
Ben reaches for the bag and our hands brush. There’s another fucking spark, right where it shouldn’t be. “Justtrying to be a good friend.” His eyes linger and neither of us moves to release the bag held trapped between our hands. He flashes me another small smile before finally breaking contact, heading out, the door thudding shut behind him.
“Oh, honey.”
I spin around at the sound of Emma’s sympathetic voice. I hadn’t realized she’d come out to the front of the store, didn’t know she was listening. Grabbing the empty tray, I push back into the kitchen, ignoring whatever she’s implying.
“Anything you want to talk about?” she asks, following me to the back.
“Nope.” I busy myself arranging a new tray of baked goods.
“Okay.” She returns to the prep station, measuring a scoop of flour and dumping it into a mixing bowl, but I can hear everything unsaid in her one-word response.
And I should maybe talk to her about it. She might be the only one I actually could talk to about it. But talking about it would make it real, and if I continue to ignore whatever the hell is happening with my neighbor-slash-keeper, then I can keep pretending that it’s all in my head.
I can convince myself to fall in love with Noah. I can dedicate my life to being the best baker’s assistant to ever grace the kitchens of Heart Springs. I can get myself home and get Ben home. Once I do that, it’ll be easy to put distance between us and I won’t have to deal with phantom feelings for Dr. Ben Loving ever again.
—
