“And another thing that really pisses me off,” Gemma starts, as if we were in the middle of a conversation, which I don’t think we were, “is that you could’ve had so many dates. Like so many dates, Sadie. And have you had so many dates?”
I hold up my hand, my fingers forming a 0, bringing it close to my eye like it’s a telescope. “I’ve had zero dates. Lots of fucking. Zero dates.”
Nick chokes a little on his beer, but like the wise man he is, he refrains from commenting.
“You should be going on dates! Have you seen you?” Gemma gestures wildly in my general direction, barely managing to not fall off her stool.
Crooking my finger in theCome heremotion, I bring her closer to me so I can “whisper” in her ear. “You should also be going on dates because I have seen you and you’re super fucking hot, my friend.”
She pulls away from me, ever so slightly, tears in her eyes. “Do you really think so?”
“No. Yeah. Duh.”
Nick laughs. “You get so Californian when you’re drunk.”
I punch him in the shoulder. Sort of. I might miss his arm altogether, but the intent is there. “Shut up, Nicky.” I hop off my bar stool. “Order me another drink, bitches! I’m going to pee!”
Gemma is calling for more drinks before I even leave the table, which is why I love her. I stumble to the back of the bar, pushing into the bathroom and joining the like-minded crowd of equally intoxicated women waiting for a stall.
“I love your shoes,” one says to me.
“Ohmygod, thank you so much!” I gush. “You have like the most perfect hair. Seriously, I’d kill for it.”
“Please, you’re like a Barbie doll come to life if she weren’t all plasticky and was actually like super cool and a feminist.”
I place a hand over my heart. “That’s literally the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
A flush rings out, and one of the stalls opens up for my new friend. The woman washing her hands at the sink catches my eye in the mirror. “Girl, your man is super hot.”
“He’s not my man, so look all you want!”
She shakes off the excess water from her hands and grabs a paper towel. “Your girlfriend isn’t so bad either.”
“Also not mine, so please, have at it!” God, if only my friends knew how much I was hooking them up while I try to hold in my pee.
“Does she like girls?”
“She likes everyone.” I give her what I’m sure is a very subtle wink.
She gives me a thumbs-up and heads out, and finally a stall opens up. I rush in and lock the door.
As I relieve myself, I use the precious time to think about the highlights of the night. How my job robbed me of a social life and a dating life and a romantic life and a housewife life. I might be married with kids if it weren’t for that stupid job.
Ew. Definitely don’t want that.
But seriously, my friends are right. I’ve sacrificed a lot for my career. And for what? To watch my hard-earned promotion be handed to a man named Chad? Fuck that.
With drunkenness, as usual, comes clarity.
I flush, wash my hands, pour compliments over the new girls now waiting in line, and make my way back to the table. I pause at the end of the darkened back hallway, a smile growing as I see both Nick and Gemma chatting up a pair of super-hot babes, though Nick is keeping quite a bit of space between himself and the blonde making eyes at him. The girl from the bathroom pulls her attention from flirting with Gem and gives me a salute when she catches my eye.
Skirting around the table to avoid the new happy couples, I make my way to the bar. After another shot, I slide my phone out of my pants pocket, grateful for facial recognition because I’m not sure I could handle putting in a passcode at the moment. I pull up the dating app I haven’t opened in months. My last login date pops up on the screen. Yikes.
“Okay, Sadie. Let’s get serious. Let’s go on a motherfucking date.” Pretty sure the guy sitting next to me thinks I’m either wasted or crazy, but I’m too drunk to care.
I find a button directing me to local singles. A bunch of blurry photos come up for me to look through. Honestly, not sure if the photos are blurry or my eyesight is, but it doesn’t really matter. I swipe right on a couple of guys who don’t look completely pathetic, pretty proud of myself for taking this bare minimum of steps.
After a few more arbitrary swipes, my phone chirps with an alert.
