“What the fuck?” I jump about a foot, my voice at top volume.
“Shhhh.” Harley comes around the gigantic kitchen island, shushing me and closing the fridge.
“Don’t shush me, you scared the shit out of me,” I whisper. Fiercely.
“Sorry.” She hands me a glass of water.
I gesture to the padded bar stools surrounding the marble-topped island. “What are you doing up?”
“Same thing as you I suppose. Couldn’t sleep.”
I take a sip of water, and my heart rate finally returns to normal. “Does your non-sleeping have anything to do with a certain man just down the hall?”
She arches one eyebrow. “Does yours?”
“I asked you first.” I give her a wicked grin.
She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. And she doesn’t answer my question.
“It’s not exactly a secret, you know. You and Nick. Gem and I have known for a while. And we’d never judge you for wanting to be together. We want you guys to be happy. Hopefully you know that.”
“I know.” She twists her seat, angling it away from mine.
I take a deep breath because I know there’s only one thing to do in this particular situation with Harley. I need to sit in the silence and let her talk when she’s ready. I literally have to bite my tongue to keep from filling the quiet with my blather, but I do it, because I know it’s what she needs.
Finally, she takes a sip of her own water, shifting ever so slightly back in my direction. “Nick wants to make it official, take things public, so to speak.”
Pursing my lips tightly, I just barely keep in a squeal of joy. “That’s a good thing, right? I mean, you do also want to be official?”
“I do.” She looks over at me and her eyes are shining. Not with tears, but with something akin to sheer joy. “I love him, Sadie. I think I’ve loved him for a really long time.”
I reach over and grab her hand. “I think you have too. And I’m so, so happy for you. And for him. Probably more for him, since he’s really scoring big-time here.”
She rolls her eyes but pairs it with a smile. When her fingers grasp mine so tightly it starts to hurt, I realize there’s more to it.
“I don’t know what I would do if anything ever happened to our group. You and Gemma are my sisters and I’m terrified this is going to screw it up.” Harley rushes out the words in one single breath.
Tugging on our joined hands, I pull her closer to me. “Hey. None of that. Nothing is going to screw it up, okay? Even if things ended badly with the two of you—which they won’t, I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve already envisioned your wedding day—nothing is going to split the four of us up.” I knock my shoulder into hers. “You guys are basically the only family I have at this point—I’m not going to let anything happen to us.”
She gives me a tiny smile. “Promise?”
“Promise. Is that the only thing holding you back? Wondering what might happen to the group in a worst-case scenario?” I take a sip of my water, giving her time to fill the silence if she wants to. Because I can tell she wants to.
We sit for another quiet minute.
Finally, she draws in a deep breath. “I need you to listen for a minute and not say anything. Okay?”
I mime zipping my lips shut and throwing away the key.
She takes in a long breath and lets it out slowly. “I’m worried about how Nick’s parents are going to react to him dating a Black woman.”
I tighten my grip on her hand but keep my promise to just listen.
“I know his parents are liberal and donated to Obama, and on paper, they do and say all the right things. But there’s a big difference between being woke on paper and accepting your son is dating a Black woman. And I’m scared, Sade. Because I don’t know how I’ll handle it if they react badly. And I don’t know how Nick will handle it either. And so in this big happy shiny relationship moment, I don’t really know how to feel, you know?” Her voice cracks at the end, and I know she’s holding back tears.
I pull Harley into my arms, wrapping her up tight. I’m tempted totell her it’ll be okay, that of course Nick’s parents would never not accept her, but I don’t, because I don’t know if that’s true and the last thing I want to do is lie to her.
I wait for her to disengage from the hug before picking her hand back up in mine and squeezing tightly. “I love you. And I’m here. Always.”
