“Wow, Sadie, this is impressive.”
“Why do you sound so surprised?” And why does said surprise sting?
“I’m definitely not, it’s just, it’s not just the flowers, this photo is great. The lighting, the background, the aesthetic. You nailed it.” He hands me back my phone, our fingers brushing up against one another, sending a little jolt through me.
“Oh. Thanks.” I put my phone away, my hands fluttering uselessly between my pockets and the strap of my purse because they suddenly yearn for nothing more than another brush of Jack’s skin. Another brush of Jack’s validation. Finally, I just leave them hanging awkwardly at my sides. “You sound like you know what you’re talking about. Like you have an artistic eye.”
He doesn’t answer my non-question, letting a less-awkward-than-usual silence fall between us. As we climb the front steps of the house, he breaks it. “So I have to go out of town tomorrow. Just for one night, I’ll be back Sunday early afternoon.” He pushes open the door, motioning for me to walk in first.
“Oh. That’s cool. Where are you headed?” It actually doesn’t feel cool at all. More like the opposite, but it seems like something a nice roommate would say.
“Just a thing I have to take care of.”
“I really wish you’d stop oversharing, Cracker Jack. Seriously. I can’t handle any more of your secrets. They just come flowing out of you, and I’m not sure I can listen to you talk about yourself for one more second.” I kick off my shoes right inside the door and leave them there, which I know bugs the shit out of him.
“Hilarious as always.” He picks up my shoes and places them on the stairs, as if that will convince me to carry them to my room. “We on for pizza and Housewives Sunday night though?”
“You know it.” I head into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water before heading upstairs. “I’m taking a shower because I smell like beer and sweaty men.”
“Gross.”
I lean over the stairs. “Thanks for coming out tonight.”
He pauses at the top of the basement steps. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“Good night, Jack.”
“Good night, Sadie.”
I’m grateful for my scheduled bar shift on Saturday because I need a distraction. Despite the fact that Jack spends most of his time in the basement, it feels weird being in the house without him. I don’t like it. And I really don’t like how much I don’t like it. Something shifted lastnight, nothing seismic or earth-shattering, but just enough to make me feel unsettled.
So I head out to a café in the late morning, catching up on some work. After my very successful Instagram post, I have three new inquiries in my email inbox, so I respond to those, chatting with potential clients about what they might be looking for. For now I’m sticking with individual arrangements, since I don’t really have the space or the manpower or the confidence for any type of event just yet. But since I’m repurposing vases and sourcing all my flowers locally, I’m able to keep costs down and each arrangement is netting a solid profit. And with my bar shifts easily covering rent and my other bills, financially things aren’t looking too bad these days. My student loans will still never be paid off, but that’s kind of a given for us broke-ass millennials.
I don’t return home until it’s time to change into my tight jeans and low-cut tank top for work, the quiet house echoing around me. I haven’t really had much alone time since moving in with Jack, and I’m surprised to find that I don’t miss it. While I don’t mind being by myself, I find comfort in knowing there’s someone else there with me. Even if they aren’t physically there.
Luckily nothing provides a distraction quite like thirsty-ass customers demanding all your attention. I throw myself into my shift at the bar and am heartily rewarded for my hard work at the end of the night. I make the walk home with my keys clenched tightly in my hand, phone open and ready to dial 911. Even though I make this walk alone two times a week, it feels a little more ominous knowing there’s no one waiting for me at home.
But I survive, kicking my shoes off as soon as I walk in and not bothering to move them from directly in front of the door. After myshower, I climb into bed and curl up with my iPad. I’m tempted to watch a new episode of Housewives since I know I’ll have trouble sleeping here all by myself, but I couldn’t do that to Jack. Now that I’ve gotten him addicted, it just wouldn’t be fair.
And speak of the devil.
JACK:How was your shift?
ME:Good. How is your super-duper mystery assignment?
ME:Oh shit! Are you in the CIA?
JACK:Can you feel me rolling my eyes, even from states away?
ME:Ha! So you’ve left the state of New York!
JACK:Yes.
ME:Jersey?
ME:Boston?
ME:Philly?
