I crouched on the edge of the couch next to him and pushed at his knee. “Teller, wake up. It’s time to eat.”
His eyelids fluttered open and a soft smile graced his face. “Hey,” he said in a raspy, sleepy voice that called to every feminine molecule inside of me.
“Food’s ready,” I said quietly. “I didn’t want to eat without you.”
He trailed the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “I didn’t miss the moan?”
Heat pulsed in my cheeks. “No.”
He spread his fingers out and cupped my face. “I want to hear it again.” I was frozen, afraid he’d stop, terrified he’d keep going. “I really want to kiss you,” he said in that low, drugged voice.
“No, you don’t.”
“You seem to think you know a lot about me,” he murmured, his eyes still on my mouth.
Nothing existed around us. Just him and me in this small bubble. The whole world was blocked out. Why couldn’t I kiss him again? “I do know a lot about you.”
His mouth pulled up in a lazy grin. “Yeah? Tell me.”
“You’re used to everyone liking you, but you don’t care if they don’t. You’re used to women throwing themselves at you, but you don’t care if they don’t. You want to do the right thing, but I suspect that deep down, you don’t care if you don’t. But you do care that others will care.”
“Damn, Mads. You lay it all out there.” He brushed a few stray strands behind my ear, then ran his hand down my braid, draping it over my shoulder. He gave it a gentle tug. “Let me give it a try. You’ve had to be tough all your life, but you’re soft inside.” He trailed his finger across my chest, over the crest of my breast, stopping over my heart. “You have an independent streak a mile wide, but I bet you wish, for once, you could depend on someone. And you pretend you don’t care about anything when, in fact, you care. Very deeply. And that’s how people hurt you.”
Each insight stripped away a layer of the brick wall I’d built between myself and the world, leaving me raw and exposed. “That’s not?—”
“True?” He curled his fingers around my braid and pulled me closer. “It’s absolutely true. I bet that you’ll want to fire me after this. Cut your losses with the donation. Kick me out. Demand your keys back.”
Another row of my wall shattered. The spark of those thoughts had started to smolder. “You don’t know me,” I whispered as he reeled me even closer. I wasn’t resisting.
“I want to.”
“You date all the women, but you never settle down. She broke your heart.” I flattened my hands on his chest. When had I gotten this close? When had I adjusted my position until a few small movements would have me straddling his lap?
His eyelids grew heavy-lidded. “Your lips are too sweet to be talking about that bitterness.” He was stroking my face again, rubbing his thumb over my bottom lip.
“You don’t know how my lips taste,” I whispered. I was so close now, all my nerve endings were alive, waiting for the tickle of his beard, the soft pressure of his mouth. My breasts felt heavy and need coiled low in my belly. He was the polar opposite of me, yet it was like we were magnets. I couldn’t quit getting closer to him.
“Let me find out.”
It wasn’t a question but more of a plea, and I gave in to my own curiosity. I touched my mouth to his. The shock of my lips on his almost had me pulling away, but he curled his hand around my head and took the kiss further and faster than I could’ve imagined.
He licked along my lips and I automatically opened for him, then he was twining his tongue around mine. I whimpered, and he dragged me onto his lap like I weighed no more than a throw blanket. I draped myself over him like I was one.
He held my head still so he could devour me. I was on top of him, but he was in charge, and maybe I was just like he said. I wanted someone I could depend on. Someone who could take the reins. Teller was doing that now.
I straddled him and did what I refused to admit I’d been dreaming of doing for weeks. For years, even. I buried my hands in his thick hair. Soft strands caressed my palms and I dragged my fingers over his scalp.
A greedy moan rumbled from his chest and into mine. I widened my legs so I could straddle him lower. The hard ridge of his erection ground against me, and damn, that felt good. How long had it been since I’d been with someone? I rocked back and forth over him and pleasure sizzled through my veins. It’d been so long.
Just as long since I had realized there was no one in my life I could trust or rely on.
I yanked back with a gasp and nearly tumbled off him. He caught me, but I wrestled away from him. He released me immediately and I nearly flopped backward. I managed to get my feet under me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. His cheeks had a flush I’d never seen before. Plenty of other women had.
I didn’t hold his dating against him, but he didn’t commit. It was why his ex eventually cheated with my brother. She got tired of waiting. I knew how this would play out—with me on the outside looking in. “You’re what’s wrong. I don’t want to get my hopes up, or to get strung along.”
He scrubbed his hand down his face, and despite his nap, he looked tired. “I told you I’m not that guy anymore.”
