He winced. “Sorry, I meant that I was scared that you’d break up with me. That’s how it’s always ended.”
“After how much I opened up to you, you thought I was just like the other girls?”
“Shit. No. I mean, yes, but it’s my problem. It shouldn’t have been yours.” The crease in his forehead deepened. “I can earn your trust back.”
“What if Katrina came to town? And seeing her made you wonder if I’d ever do the same to you?” His cheek twitched andI let out a bitter laugh. “You’ve already wondered that, haven’t you?”
“I knew you wouldn’t.” When I shot him a flat stare, he looked away. “I worked through that fear. I’ll do better. I’ll be better.”
He’d been the best. Until he hadn’t been. I blinked. A tear rolled down my cheek. I swiped it away.
I didn’t trust him.
Another tear skated down my face.
“Ruby.” His mouth formed a troubled line and he stepped toward me.
I put a hand up.
He stopped. “I’ll earn it back, but, Ruby... I have a lot to learn. I might be older but I’m not wiser. I haven’t dated for over ten years.”
The last time he’d been on a real date, I’d been in high school. He’d broken his streak and the world was wide freaking open to him right now. “I felt really special that you wanted to be with me.” My throat grew thick and I hugged my purse tighter to myself. He could take his pick.
I just don’t know if this is what I want, Rubes. I need some time. Brock’s words rose from the depths of my mind.
“I still want to be with you,” he said, his voice ragged.
“I... can’t.” I would not run into his arms after oneI’m sorry. The sad fact was that he couldn’t promise he wouldn’t do it again. I’d been dumped by him once. Twice would just be cruel.
He exhaled and dropped his head. “Okay. I understand.” His smile was tight but reassuring. “Will it bother you to have me see you out on Friday nights?”
He was giving me an out. I wouldn’t have to see him again. He rarely went to the Bozeman site, and once I was doneworking the bar for the summer, I wouldn’t have to come to Bourbon Canyon more than once or twice a year.
All I had to do was say no, it didn’t bother me. I’d crack open the door to another chance. I would show up to work, knowing I’d get to see Tenor. The night would end with him. Maybe he’d try again. Maybe he’d ask me out. Maybe I’d say yes.
I deserved better.
Right now, it was too goddamn hard to convince myself of that. Tenor was in front of me, asking for another chance. It should be a dream come true. Instead, it felt like Groundhog Day.
“Yes, Tenor. It would be too hard.”
All the hope drained from his features. He nodded. “I’ll talk to Teller. Good night, Ruby.”
I didn’t look back as I walked to my car. I resolutely didn’t check my rearview mirror as I drove off. And I waited until I hit the highway before I let the dam break on my tears.
Tenor
A pump on one of the fermenter tanks had gone out. We’d cleaned the seals, then replaced them, but to no avail. We needed a new pump. Until then, the tank was out of commission and all the mash inside had to be cleaned out.
“The delay shouldn’t put us behind too bad,” Teller said, pushing away from the tank. “Once we get the new pump installed, then we can clean it up and rock ’n’ roll.”
I checked the time. “I should get going.”
His gaze was steady. “Ruby starts soon?”
Last week, she’d basically told me she didn’t want to see me again. “Yeah.” I wanted to be gone by then.
“You’re not going to try with her again?”
