I saved the financial report I was compiling and closed out of my computer. I took my damn time too. Teller wasn’t here to shoot the breeze. “Get to your point.”
He remained unfazed. “Relationships go both ways.” I didn’t respond. “Seems like only Ruby’s going in both directions.”
Irritation clawed along my skin. “I also work the weekends.” I folded my arms. “Cruz and Lane are gone a lot more. You might be single, but I’m sure Tate wants to see his family.” Ranching wasn’t just a full-time job. It was a way of life, and it’d take over with no help.
“We can always hire someone.”
“But you haven’t.”
He assessed me. “If we do, would you change? Suddenly stay home or go see Ruby and find out what she’s interested in?”
“She likes to read.”
“That it?”
I wasn’t about to tell him what else she liked. “She likes to be here.”
“Have you asked her?”
I pushed my glasses up and rubbed the bridge of my nose. “For fuck’s sake, Teller. You gonna charge by the hour to shrink my head?”
“Nah. You know I’m not an expert or my ex wouldn’t have run off with someone like Scooter fucking Townsend.”
“Wendi divorced him, so her taste isn’t completely terrible.”
He grunted. “All I’m saying is that... Fuck, I don’t know. You still seem to be holding back.”
“What the hell do you expect?” He was looking out for me, but he was also making me seem like a selfish jerk.
“Nothing. Just remembering what Dad told us once.”
A lump of molten lead formed in my gut. My parents’ marriage was something I had aspired to. They’d loved each other so completely. So honestly. Dad had doted on Mama, and she’d done the same. I had tried to follow suit only to be called duplicitous. A liar. “And what was that? ‘Early is on time and on time is late’?”
He gave me adon’t be a dumbasslook. “After Katrina, and after Wendi, he told us not to let those experiences scare us from giving ourselves fully to the women we fall in love with. He told us not to let our exes stop us from finding real love.”
“How’s that going for you?”
“Terrible. You?”
I wasn’t sure yet. Looking back, I hadn’t been in love with Katrina. I’d been an infatuated puppy. She’d been beautiful and smart and sexy. I hadn’t been comfortable being myself around her.
Ruby was beautiful and smart and sexy. She was fun and kind and genuine. Her laughter was infectious. I had switched where I painted at my table so I could watch her. When she was studying other social accounts, she’d bite her lower lip and crinkle her brow. When she read, a faint blush would dust her cheeks and I’d know she’d gotten to a naughty scene. Then she’d catch my eye and smile. Sometimes, we returned to our hobby. Sometimes, we got naked.
I could be myself with her.
I’d also stayed in my environment. She slept over. I was out of my comfort zone, but I also wasn’t. Did that mean we were one-sided? Ruby hadn’t told me what more she wanted.
I never asked.
“I don’t know yet,” I answered. “We’re taking it slow and she knows it.”
“Are you taking it slow or looking for a reason it wasn’t meant to work?”
“No, Teller, fuck. Do you think I have to have an engagement ring already? That we’re planning the guest list for the wedding? Picking baby names?”
He kicked up a brow.
An inferno started at the base of my sternum. I cleared my throat. “I’m older than her and I’m still her boss. I’m not rushing her.”
