The pressure didn’t ease around my chest. “When’d you get so wise?”
“From all the doubting and should-ing on myself.”
I laughed. “I was doubting.” I leaned against the counter. “The whole thing with Lucy made me question my motivation. I’ve had to look at why I’m pursuing the very top, and sometimes, I dunno, I can’t help but wonder the opposite. What if.”
“What if you’d stayed, contented yourself with playing at the county fair, and become a mom to two little girls like Bethany and Hannah?”
Nailed it. I nodded.
“Then you’d be in my kitchen asking me if you’d made the right decision because you love writing, singing, and performing and you can’t do much of it as a ranch wife and mom.” She crossed to me and squeezed my hands. “And that ranch wife and mom wouldn’t have known that if she had gone, Rhys wouldn’t have followed.”
I would’ve never thought that. “Did you know?”
“Not at first. We were all surprised when you told us he wasn’t going with you, but with his dad’s illness, it made sense. Then he seemed so distant when I saw him. He barely chatted with us, hardly smiled. You expressed your concern. And this old mom put two and two together that he wasn’t trying to get to Nashville.”
“Why?” I swallowed hard, voicing the real question beneathwhat if. “Why would he just give up like that?”
She rubbed my shoulders. “Only he knows. But you have to remember, he had his own traumas growing up. And that mama of his...” She released me. “Well, I didn’t know her, not really, so I shouldn’t say.”
“I looked her up once,” I said. I’d never admit to Rhys that I’d gone snooping on Angela Craft. “All I found was her obituary, some announcements, and mediocre reviews.” At Mama’s alarmed look, I shook my head. “I never described them like that to Rhys. I didn’t even tell him I’d found them.”
“I’m sure he’s sensitive. It was just those two for the first twelve years of his life.”
“She dragged him all over. I’m sure that’s why he got cold feet about moving his kids around.”
“Mm.” Mama returned to the coffee maker. “You’d have to ask him.”
“I did. He won’t talk about it. Or her.”
“Then you’ll have to respect that he chose his path and he’s not willing to change it. So you might as well pick that new manager. Unless you want to become a ranch wife and mom.”
The idea wasn’t terrible. A lot of ranch wives had full-time jobs. The joke went that every successful ranch had one spouse with a full-time job and benefits. There’d be less time to dedicate to singing and performing, but more importantly, it wasn’t the life I’d worked so long for. “I’m almost there, Mama. My ownbigtour. You know how long I’ve dreamed about it?”
“Yes. Just like I know that you’re back home, all your sisters are happily wed, and you think you missed your window. Your feelings for Rhys are feeling pretty fresh and adoring those little girls isn’t helping.”
“I’m only home for another month and a half. I just keep wondering...” I massaged my temples. Rhys was hot, then cold, then hot. We talked like we’d known each other most of our lives and then acted like we’d never gotten along. But six weeks could be an eternity when we already had so much between us. What if we kissed again? What if...
“Junie, Rhys chose his path in life again and again. Whatever he commits to, he gives his all.”
A large lump formed in my throat, cutting off my air.
She nodded like she could see my thoughts scrolling across my forehead. “He committed to his dad. Then the family farm. He committed to his marriage and then the girls. He’s committed to his way of life.”
What she didn’t say rang loud and clear.But hedidn’t commit to you.
Rhys
I worked on the walls on the breezeway between the garage and the house. The physical labor was doing wonders for the near-constant state of arousal I’d been in since kissing June.
How could she taste better than ever? How could her lips feel softer than I remembered? I’d thought I had every minute detail carved into my memory. The real, present-day June blew my memories out of the water.
I stepped back to assess the window I’d just put in place. Wren was inside with the girls, giving me a full day to work on the breezeway without stopping to make meals or referee arguments. Besides, without Wren, the girls would want to help, and while I would teach them construction skills someday, today wasn’t that day. They didn’t need to deal with a cranky dad who was sore that he couldn’t stop kissing the singer they adored.
The front door banged open. Bethany skidded around the side of the house. “Dad! Junie’s on the TV.”
Probably. She wasn’t currently performing, but it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for her to be referenced, especially if they were bringing up one of her dick exes. “Okay?”
“They’re saying she’s vanished.”
