Hewasleaving. His plans to return were nebulous at best. Little more than good intentions.
The sight of him standing by his shiny black suitcase, scrutinizing me with his vivid green gaze, kept the words I wanted to say firmly on my tongue. His breath puffedaround him, but he stood like it was a warm summer day instead of a chilly winter one.
I closed the distance between us and curved my hand around his neck. He bent and I rose on my toes. Our lips met and that familiar sizzle of electricity passed between my skin and his. I didn’t deepen the kiss and neither did he. He hugged me to him but loosened his hold when I pulled back.
His brows knit together. “Why do I feel like that was a permanent goodbye?”
“Because it was.” There. I’d said it. Until this moment, I hadn’t known if I’d be strong enough.
Emotions filtered through his expression. Disappointment. Hurt. Confusion. He gave a single nod. His jaw worked and he looked across the cars streaming around us and parked in the lot behind me. “Why?”
His voice was hoarse. He was crestfallen, and I wanted to hang on to that. He wanted more. But there would only be less.
Gideon had encouraged me to stand my ground with Tate. It was because of that I’d have to speak up for myself again.
The chill crept into my bones, thanks to the weather and the conversation. “You’ll return to your job, maybe transition to a new one. I’d come out during Thanksgiving break, maybe Christmas. Would I fly out over Presidents’ Day?” I shrugged. “You might fly out, but I doubt it. Your dad hurt you a lot. Anyway, we’d talk about work and superficially about my family. Then we’d have sex.” Desire flared in his eyes. I almost wavered, but that spark was exactly why I had to continue. “I wouldn’t be more than Taya to you.”
He recoiled. “Taya? What does that mean?”
“We might not work together, but we’d fuck and then go our separate ways. To our separate lives. Only coming together for a release.”
Understanding filled his gaze. He clenched his jaw and looked down. “I would like us to be more.”
“Would you really?” Tears threatened to well, but I sniffed and let the cold air freeze them in place. “You never unpacked, Gideon. I realize we had a deal that ended with you leaving, but you lived out of your suitcase. You borrowed my car as if evenrentingone was too much commitment. But worse, you never talked to me. I’m no closer to knowing the real reason why you don’t want kids than when I first asked. You didn’t talk to me. You only gave me a part of you, and that’s what I can’t stand for. But one thing I realized about me is that it isn’t just the kids. I want the partner.”
His gaze swept our surroundings once more. His cheeks were tinting pink from the cold, giving him the appearance of being upset. The sad thing was, he wasn’t really upset about my rejection. He didn’t understand where I was coming from.
“You never asked to see the land Daddy gifted me. That place means the world to me, just like your home meant to you. Yet you never saw it. You asked me about work, but only to distract yourself from your feelings.” I shook my head and sniffled. “I want a guy who’ll stay with me even if we lose our house and have four little girls to take care of. I want a guy who’ll be by my side through the decades. I want a guy who won’t leave me until he physically can’t stay anymore.” I lost the battle against the tears. I’d gotten two sets of parents who’d shown me exactly what I dreamed of. I fought the urge to dive into the car, soak up the warmth of the heater, and drive home so I could hide under mycovers with my cat until the alarm went off for work tomorrow. “You don’t want to be that guy, Gideon.”
“Autumn.” My name came out strangled.
“Did you ever tell your work you got married?” When he glanced away and his Adam’s apple worked up and down, the stabbing pain in the walls of my chest made it hard to breathe. “Taya?”
The shake of his head was barely noticeable.
None of this was real and I’d been right to protect my heart. Didn’t mean the hurt was any less. I started backing up. The tears were going to come fast and hard.
He took a step, but I put my palm up. I should’ve had my gloves on, but my skin could be as exposed and raw as the rest of me. “Good luck with...” The investment group? Taya? Your life? “Everything. Just have your lawyer send me those divorce papers.”
With that, I dove into the car and left him on that cold sidewalk. I dared to peek in the rearview mirror. He hadn’t moved.
But he would. Montana wasn’t his home.
Gideon
The view was stunning. I stood in front of floor-to-ceiling windows that created a rustic yet elegant frame around the mountain scenery. The caps were tipped with white, the snow continuing all the way down to the sprawling countryside.
You don’t want to be that guy,Gideon.
The visceral reaction when she’d said those words had been staggering. I never yelled, but I’d been about to holler,Bullshit! You’re the only one giving up on us.
How could that be true when I was boarding a plane soon?
The absurdity. Autumn was nothing like Taya. I was friendly with Taya. Physically and intellectually, we were compatible, but the absence of a spark was noticeable. Hence why we’d never been more than casual and occasional bed partners.
I gripped the handle of my suitcase.
I want a guy who’ll stay with me even if we lose our house and have four little girls to take care of. I want a guy who’ll be by my side through the decades. I want a guy who won’t leave me until he physically can’t stay anymore.
