“It is, especially for our more commercial lines. Most years, we get enough temperature change for the barrels to really expand and contract and pull out flavors from the wood.” I gestured to the nook with the security light partway down one of the walkways. “The bottling line ison the other side. That’s when the attached aging house is nice. I’ll show you where all the fun is.”
I slid my hand into his. This wasn’t the first time I’d been in the distillery by myself. Sometimes I spooked myself being alone, but tonight excitement coursed through me. When I’d first started, I’d led a few tours, but mostly I’d settled into running the place. Just because I could jump into every part of the process didn’t mean I had much opportunity to do so.
“We’ll end at my office.” I took him through the big double doors. The smell of warm grain surrounded us. We were closest to the mash tanks. “Want to smell some yeast?”
“It might come as a surprise, but I’ve smelled it before.” He still followed me, a faint smile on his face.
I flipped on the lights and led him to a tank bubbling with a yellowish mash. I took a deep breath. This was the smell of my childhood.
He leaned over and sniffed. “It’s all coming back to me. Teller always called it yeast farts.”
“Daddy hated that term.” So of course, all my siblings and I thought it was hilarious.
He got a faraway look in his eyes. “I remember the smell outside the Copper Summit at home. I haven’t thought of that until now.”
“Yup. It’s from drying the spent grain mash Daddy would have the guys haul to the ranch.” Another smell of home for me.
“There’s not a quiz at the end, is there?”
“No, this is a bonus. We don’t usually take an actual tour through here. That’s what the big picture windows are for. It gets too crowded and the distillers prefer to work undisturbed. We used to do Saturdaytours, but Tate canned those, and I haven’t brought them back. This location is more about the production.”
“I’m a special guest?”
I shot him a grin. “A VIP’s special guest.” I led him through the mash tanks to the big copper stills.
He gazed up at the condensing pipes. “I... missed this.” The loss in his voice tore at my heart.
“Missed what?” I led him out the way we’d come in. I didn’t want his words swallowed by the cavernous room.
Once we were back in the main entry, he turned to look through the windows we kept pristine so the public could see the beauty of distilling. I threaded my fingers through his.
“Hanging out at Copper Summit. Not this one, of course, but I’d bum along with Teller when he had to stop at the one in Bourbon Canyon.” His throat worked when he swallowed. “It’s why I had a few bottles of bourbon in the house. I liked a drink once in a while, but I admired Copper Summit. I respected the family’s passion, and part of me wished...”
I gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. “You wished what?”
“I wished there was something I felt that way about. I helped Dad enough to build the cabin, and then I had nothing else to do. When Eli graduated, I happily let him take over more. Dad needed the help. Then when Eli was gone, Dad was left with no one. I couldn’t help him, and god, the relief gutted me. I didn’t want a life doing what my dad did.”
I stood, frozen for a moment. Eli had commented several times that he should go to college or he’d be following in Jonah’s shadow all his life. Everyone hadassumed that Jonah would take over, and then he couldn’t. “You didn’t want to work the ranch?”
His headshake was slow and guilt stamped his features. “No. It’s too much for one person. Whether I was in charge or Eli, we’d both be tied to it, and I found every excuse to get away. It was like the accident was what I got for being a selfish bastard.”
“You’re not selfish, Jonah.”
“I am.” He pivoted. It was only the two of us in this giant building, but we stood inches apart. “Mom told me she and Dad are moving. You know how fucking irritated I was? I still am. They’re not supposed to move. They’re supposed to stay in the place where I grew up.”
His parents were selling? He hadn’t mentioned a thing all through dinner. “I think that would be a normal feeling. I’d be devastated if Mama moved.”
“I also feel guilty because I’m relieved. I don’t have to regret not being able to help Dad anymore. And because I was kind of a dick to Mom when she told me.”
“I’m sure she understands.” I brushed his forearm. “And you can always apologize.”
His jaw was tight when he shook his head. “I have so much to apologize for. I’ve never been there for them. I claimed I didn’t want Dad to have to babysit me, but that’s only part of it. I could’ve gotten over that.”
“Not always. I still think my brothers look at me like I’m that injured little girl who got dropped on their doorstep one night.”
He pulled me into him. “They love you.”
“And your parents love you.” I kissed his lips. “Would your dad really feel like he could retire if you were working the ranch? Would he always feel like he had to be around to help you because he knows how hard it is?”
