“I’m not. He idolized you, but he was also jealous of you.”
Acid flushed into my throat. “Why?”
“All the girls were hot for you. We were freshmen, and you were a senior. Then you became a mountain man. So many girls only talked to Eli to get close to you.”
My brother hadn’t told me. “Shit.”
“It’s not your fault how others react.” The bed shifted as she propped herself on her elbow. “You know that, right? You can’t take responsibility for his actions.”
I had shared good memories about Eli, but that was as far as I was getting into his death. “You need to get some sleep.”
Her gaze held an earnestness I couldn’t decipher. She licked her lower lip like she was readying herself to say something hard, but she ended up sucking that puffy lip between her teeth and lying back down. “You have a hard time talking about the accident.”
“I have a hard time talking about everything.”
The corner of her mouth tipped up, but there was a sadness to her smile. “Me too. There are some very difficult things to talk about.”
Did she mean with her parents who had died, or with Eli? Had she gotten to talk about losing Eli with anyone or had she powered through life and suppressed all her feelings?
Her eyelids fell shut and I let mine do the same, more content than I had been in a long time. Other than camping with buddies, which hadn’t happened for years, I’d gone to sleep alone. Going to sleep with a beautiful woman in my bed was something I could get dangerously used to. I’d have been better off not knowing what I’d been missing my entire life.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Summer
I was toasty warm and still tired, but I hummed and burrowed into the cocoon of heat around me. A hard body met mine and a nose burrowed in my hair.
I let out a soft moan. When was the last time I’d woken up so cozy? When I’d woken up feeling so safe?
The wind raged outside, but the restless energy that plagued me during this type of weather was missing. I didn’t need to get up and leave. I wasn’t alone, in the dark, with the sounds of a storm over my head.
A strong arm wrapped around my middle and a large hand scooped under my sweater to splay over my belly.
God, that felt good. Warm skin and calloused fingertips—divine. I wiggled against my wall of comfort.
A very male groan sounded behind me and he stroked downward.
My lips curved upward and the events from last night played through my head. The blizzardand how it had propelled me back in time. My guilt over Jonah and how he’d been hurt. The pleasure of going to sleep hearing his stories. And then a heartbeat of regret before I’d drifted off to sleep.
My eyelids flew open. The glow from the night-light was the only light. It was still dark out, and I wasn’t in the guest room.
Jonah.
His fingers danced around the waistband of my underwear. A hard, impressive erection pressed into my backside through our sweats.
“Jonah,” I whispered, afraid to break the spell, but knowing I had to. I wanted this. I wanted Jonah’s hands on me, and I wanted to explore the pleasure he could give. But... I wouldn’t do it until we had a talk.
“Mm.” The rumble went through his chest and into my back. Such a masculine sound. Auditory pleasure. I wanted more of that too.
He worked his fingertips underneath my underwear. Need swamped me, igniting an ache between my thighs he was so close to resolving.
“Jonah,” I whined, hating to put a stop to us.
He hadn’t reached my clit yet, but he wasclose. “Mm.”
I frowned. Was he awake? “Jonah,” I said louder this time.
His hand twitched.
