She smiled. “Only to those of us who knew both Eli and Jonah. You were close with Eli, but we could tell what you felt wasn’t... epic. It was more age appropriate in our opinion.”
“Eli knew,” I whispered.
She couldn’t hide her pain, and she exchanged a look with Adam. “I was afraid he’d noticed too, but it was like that for him. You know that.”
I nodded. I did. He’d looked up to his big brother, but there’d been a healthy dose of jealousy.
“Don’t blame yourself,” Adam said gruffly. “Don’t blame anyone. Eli was going through more change than he cared to deal with.”
“How so?” Jonah asked.
Adam lifted his shoulder. “He was lonely. Summer was in college and I think he could sense they were growing apart.” He smiled encouragingly at me. “But it wasn’t just you. He missed his friends who’d gone off to college. He wanted to ranch, but he also wanted to live life, and we’d been having talks about how he could see and experience the world and also be tied to a hundred head of cattle.”
“He was a little lost, but he was right where he wanted to be,” Vera added. “I think we’ve all been there.”
We all nodded. Some of us were still going through that.
Vera’s smile turned watery. “Since I know the both of you... At least, Summer, I think you’re still the same,strong girl who wants to solve everyone’s problems but your own?”
I dipped my head before I realized what I was agreeing to. Then I let out a humorless laugh. “What gave you that impression? My canceled wedding with a guy I should’ve dumped two years before I put on a wedding dress?”
“And why you stayed with Eli.” She pinned me with an understanding look. “I know you didn’t want to hurt him and we appreciate that more than you can know. None of us could’ve guessed how it’d turn out, but seeing what Jonah went through almost broke us. And here you are again, and it’s clear how much you care for him.” Her lips took on an ironic twist. “Only it’s nice to see that you two aren’t repeating old patterns. You weren’t afraid to make Jonah face the truth. And Jonah’s been to the house more in the last few months than in the last few years.”
“I’ve only been by three times,” Jonah said quietly.
His mom’s smile had a hint of sadness. “I know.”
I exchanged a look with Jonah. His hand was still on mine. He’d lost some weight and I’d tease him about scurvy later... if he meant that thing about anus.
“She turned me toward the truth,” Jonah said roughly, “but Teller made me face it head-on. That asshole won’t leave me alone.” Jonah’s eyes twinkled. “I also don’t want him to.”
I smiled weakly, but focused on Adam and Vera. “I should’ve talked to you both sooner.”
Vera’s mouth tightened and she looked regretful. “I don’t know if I could’ve heard it much earlier. Like Adam said, we blamed everyone, and you know, I think it was easier to have a round robin for targets. We’llnever know, and that’s not the point. You told us when you were ready, and we just happened to be ready to hear it.”
Adam nodded and clasped his wife’s hand like Jonah and I were doing.
I could’ve floated away from the table, I was so light. Eli’s parents didn’t hate me. Jonah was still moving forward. And I was... content.
“So, what about you two?” Vera asked. “Is everything all right?”
Jonah’s dad pinned him with an expectant look.
“That’s what I have to talk to Summer about,” Jonah said, pushing his chair back. He caught my gaze and I wanted to get lost in his dark eyes. He rose and held his hand out.
I took it, my hopes soaring almost as high as my fears.
Jonah
I walked with Summer outside, under the bright blue sky with the puffy white clouds, and we kept going to the fence line of the pasture behind the barn. The path was gravel until we wrapped around the barn, but even then, the grass was level and neatly trimmed. When he moved, he wouldn’t have all the extra work.
“I always thought it was so beautiful out here.” She pushed her hair out of her face. She hadn’t put it up, and I liked the way the sun glinted off her strawberry highlights.
“I miss you.”
The peaceful look on her face turned timid. “I miss you too.”
“But I needed the time. I can’t deny I needed it.”
