I was selfish. And I was a dick. I dug out my wallet.
“I haven’t ordered yet. Want to come over?” she asked.
She’d read my actions wrong. I polished off my Sprite. “Nope.” When I set the glass down, I grabbed my cane and thumped it on the floor.
Did she wince? “So the rumors are true? You’re seeing Summer Kerrigan?”
“No, not anymore. She deserves better than me, but at least she showed me what it’s like to be with someone who isn’t embarrassed by me.” I thunked the cane again.
The corner of Jackie’s mouth curled up. “What happened with you and the golden girl? Did she want more and realize that she’s nothing more than a fuck?”
“She was more than that,” I growled.
“Then why’d you break up?” She must’ve gotten her answer from my features. “Exactly. You can blame me all you want, but all I did was give you a taste of what it was like to be with you. I don’t give a shit about your cane or your scar or your limp. I just didn’t want anyone saying, ‘There goes poor Jackie. Didn’t she learn the first time?’” She shrugged and turned back to the bar. “At least the way we did it, everyone knew wewere only fucking, and that I controlled when and where.”
Her words settled into my brain like fresh concrete, smothering assumptions I’d made. “We were kids.”
“We were old enough to drink. We’d been seeing each other since high school. Yet all you wanted to do was hunt and fish and hang out with Teller. You know, I wondered if you guys had a thing. A bromance that was actually the real thing. But when I met a guy who actually gave me attention, I saw that it didn’t matter. I wanted to be important to you and all you gave me were scraps.”
I... had been exactly how she’d described. I still was. I’d let her down. Not only then, but now. She hadn’t been more than a fuck. The arrangement I had wanted. If she’d asked for more at any point since she’d moved back to Bourbon Canyon, would I have cut her off as cleanly as she’d left town when we’d been together the first time?
I would’ve. Distance would’ve been crucial, and I wouldn’t have returned her texts.
Goddammit, I was an asshole. “I’m sorry.”
She whipped her head around to glare at me. Her expression faltered when she saw my face. “You’re serious?”
“I am, Jackie. You’re... you deserved better than me too. Always have and still do.”
She drew in a long breath, considering me for a few long moments. I endured her scrutiny, but my nervous energy escaped when I tapped the base of the cane on the top of my boot. She didn’t pay it any mind. I’d painted her as a villain when I was the bad guy.
“I get that you and I weren’t meant to be, but ifSummer’s behind this?” She flicked her hand up and down my body. “And you’re not out to find someone else to hook up with? And her history with Eli didn’t stop you?” She huffed like she couldn’t believe it. “Then maybe you were more committed than you thought.”
Maybe I was. And that terrified me.
Sleep had been an elusive bitch. Tomorrow marked two weeks since Summer had left. I was tired and cranky and I had rammed the drill into the side of my hand two days ago. The damn wound still seeped through my bandages, but then I hadn’t let up enough for the injury to heal.
I’d had worse and they’d mended. Eventually. In their own way.
I would get better, but I wasn’t going to quit working. I’d go nuts if I did. Waiting for the rest of my supplies to arrive made me restless enough.
The barrels were supposed to come today. A delivery driver from Copper Summit would be here soon. Thankfully, I’d just had to email the guy in charge of repurposing the barrels and hadn’t had to go through a Bailey. I hadn’t seen any of them since Summer had stormed out.
I also hadn’t been to town since I’d run into Jackie.
I heard the engine before the doorbell outside my shop rang. I didn’t bother looking at the camera footage to see which high school kid they’d sent this time. The boys were usually prompt and wanted to get the hell done with the job so they could clockout. They usually didn’t pay enough attention to my leg or try to tell me to quit trying to help them.
Hitting the button on the big overhead door, I waited, my hands propped on my hips. Cool air snaked in along with plenty of sunshine. Spring was here and I could feel it in the warm hints on the breeze.
The back end of a short, white delivery truck came into view. A shadow was visible around the delivery truck. Teller faced me, his face carved from stone.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Fucking Baileys. I didn’t need any more people from my present or future telling me how badly I’d fucked up.
“Last week, you snarled at Dougie.”
“He almost backed into the garage door.”
“He didn’t and you know it.” He crossed his arms, in no hurry to open the back of the truck and start offloading barrels. “He can back between two semis going eighty side by side on the interstate and not touch either one.”
