“Woah,” he says, tapping his hand on my leg. “Slow down. How the hell am I supposed to even think if you—was one of those namesNoelle? Like Christmas?” He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t look at me, unwilling to take his eyes off the road for a single second.
“It’s pretty,” I protest. “Do you have anything better?”
“I honestly haven’t thought about it much, so give me a second.” The truck turns onto my street and pulls in front of my house with a lurch.He pops open his center console to grab my house key, and I can’t help but notice multiple cans of Skoal chewing tobacco.
“I thought you quit chewing?”
“What?” He closes the console, giving me a confused look. “Nope, definitely didn’t quit.”
“I never see you with a dip in.” To think of it, I don’t remember seeing him with a tobacco-stuffed lip since that first night.
“Because you wouldn’t kiss me with tobacco in my lip, and I wasn’t about to risk losing an opportunity. Besides, I don’t really feel the need to when I’m with you.”
All that time he was waiting to kiss me, and I was too trapped in my head, stupidly ignoring the incredible thing right in front of me. All the little sacrifices and the caring gestures day after day—the way he was loving me better than anyone ever has.
“Oh, you have abigcrush on me, eh?”
“You have no idea. Okay, what do you need inside?”
My packing list is longer than the baby names—and I rattle it off faster, too—but he seems to have no problem keeping track of it. Leaving the truck running and the heater blasting, he jogs up to the house. Listening to the idling diesel engine, I breathe through the uncomfortable thing that keeps happening—well,clearlythey’re contractions, no denying it now—and try to keep my mind off the thought that that’s what they are because we aren’t ready for this. She’s not supposed to be ready yet, either.
Less than five minutes later, he’s tossing the bags and carseat—which is still in the stupid box—into the back seat. “I grabbed everything you listed, plus the body wash you love and my hoodie you stole and the fuzzy blanket from the couch. Because hospitals are cold and you basically require a heat lamp on you at all times. And your names are beautiful, but we should wait until we see her to decide. I think we’ll just know.”
His hand immediately takes back its spot on my thigh, holding tight as he pulls onto the quiet street leading to the highway. Thankfully, now that we’re on smooth pavement, he’s getting the truck to go a littlefaster. Definitely not breaking any speed limits or performing any risky maneuvers, but there’s a chance we’ll get to the hospital in time.
“Thank you for being so amazing this morning.” I bite my lip, blinking back tears. “What are we going to do if this is actually happening right now?”
His pinky finger loops around mine. Glancing over at me, he says, “Then we have a baby girl who’s beautiful and strong, just like her mom. She’s clearly ready to take the world by fucking storm, so I bet she’s going to be a handful. But we’ll figure it out—together.” He pulls our hands to his mouth and presses a soft kiss on the back of mine. “You’re going to be the best mom this little girl could ever hope for. And I’m going to do my best to be everything you two need me to be.”
“I thought pregnancy was only supposed to makemesappy and emotional.” Sniffling, I frantically wipe away the tears with my free hand. “Stop or I’m going to look even worse than I already do by the time we get there. All this crying.”
“Sweetheart, you look like a dream.”
“Stop,” I jokingly whine, rolling my eyes with a smile. I went twenty-something years mostly ignoring him. Ruling him out. Wasting time with boys who wouldn’t know which of the ten bottles of body wash in my shower is my favourite. Who looked at my body forty-pounds ago like it was something I should be ashamed of. Who didn’t have the trauma that Chase has, but also didn’t have his heart.
What an absolute miracle this baby is—in more ways than I can count.
Naturally, Chase couldn’t be bothered to pay for parking, and I’m pretty certain we’re parked in a reserved doctor’s spot. But it was close to the main entrance and, while the contractions became much less consistentduring the hour and a half drive, he insisted we didn’t come here to fuck around.
Evidently, the medical staff disagree.
“It could be worse. We have a bed… and the privacy of a curtain.” I watch him pace in the tiny space between the bedside and the off-white curtain. “Anyways, I’m fine. This is why I told you it was silly to text Dad and Blair. I bet the doctor comes in soon and sends us on our merry way.”
“We’ve been here two hours with no answers. And it’s been a full hour since anybody even checked on you.”
“Because I’mfine.” I gesture wildly toward the monitor—which is connected to a strap wrapped around my stomach—knowing neither of us have any idea what the lines on the chart mean. They mentioned the words dilated and early labour shortly after we got here, and Chase has been extra jittery ever since. “If I wasn’t, they’d be in here. Why don’t you go outside and cool your jets for a bit, okay? Get some air. Grab me a snack.”
“I’m gonna have some words with somebody out there first.” He narrows his eyes at the curtain edge.
“Hey,” I say, grabbing his wrist to stop him from storming away. “No fighting any doctors, remember?”
He lets out a dramatic exhale. “Fine. I won’t fight anybody—yet. If you need me, I have my phone, okay?”
Reaching up from where I’m sitting uncomfortably on the rigid hospital bed, I slide my fingers into his hair and pull him to me for a kiss. He tastes like peppermint, and his lips are soft and cool on mine. I can’t help but get lost in him for a minute.
My hands fall to my sides with a thud and he straightens his back. “I’ll be right back with snacks.”
I slide further down under the scratchy, sterile blanket and close my eyes. With any luck, I can get a nap in while he’s gone. Chase grabs his wallet and phone from next to my feet, giving my toes a quick squeeze through the sheet, and slips between the curtains.
