“You thought wrong. I’m the same piece of shit I’ve always been.”
Fighting back tears, I turn toward the front doors. “Go home, Red.”
Once I’m finished rage-cleaning the bar, I poke my head into Dad’s office. “All cleaned up out there. I’m gonna head out.”
“Come sit.”
Shit.Apparently, I should’ve left without saying anything to him. I’m exhausted, ready to go cry in my bed over Chase, and the last thing I want is a lecture. Yet I sink down into the chair; the quicker he gets this out of his system, the quicker I can go home.
“Cassie, I really don’t like this.” He massages his temples.
“Yep, I know you don’t.”
“He started a bar fight for no good reason tonight.That’sthe kind of guy you want in your life? I thought I raised you better—did a good job of showing you how men should act.”
“You did. Honestly, you set a great example, Dad. I’m not saying he’ll be anywhere near as good of a dad as you are, but I want my baby to have both parents around. He’s a different person outside of this bar, and I wish you could see that side of him.”
“Doesn’t it concern you that he hassides?” Dad raises an eyebrow, pinning me with a stare as I meagerly shrug. “So when he’s here, he punches people for no good reason, but I’m supposed to trust when you say he’s capable of treating you with respect elsewhere? You could’ve gotten hurt tonight when the fighthe startedturned into a brawl. You think he would’ve even cared? Or noticed? Seemed like you were the last thing on his mind when you should’ve been the first.”
“I’m not saying what happened tonight was okay. And I don’t know how I’m going to handle this, but the last thing I need right now is to fight with you, too.”
Dad’s jaw tenses. “Did you fight with him? What did he say to you?”
“Nothing. That’s the fucking problem.” I rub my teary, exhausted eyes. “I tried to get him to tell me what happened. Maybe it’s my fault—I’m the one who wanted boundaries. To keep it a strictly professional co-parenting relationship.”
“And he doesn’t like that.”
No, he doesn’t like it. But that’s because he asked me to date him and I bluntly turned him down. And before the fight, I spent all evening kicking myself for it.
“He’s not the terrible guy you make him out to be, Dad. I don’t think he always makes the right decisions in the heat of the moment. But…clearly, neither do I.” I glance down at my protruding stomach. “When we’re together, he’s completely different. Chase does anything I ask, and usually I don’t even need to ask—he’s already taking care of it for me. He’s really good to me, Dad.Too good. Like maybe somebody I might even love, which scares the hell out of me. That’s why I told him we needed boundaries. I was scared about what might happen if a relationship with him imploded. Which… I guess it kind of did tonight.”
I rest a hand on my anxiously bouncing knee and let a free fall of tears run in rivulets down my cheeks. Falling from my chin, they leave wet patches on the dark-green shirt barely containing my stomach. After a minute or so, I sniffle and look up at him through the tear-induced haze, expecting him to continue the lecture.
“I know I can’t tell you what to do. But you need to decide if this is the situation you want to be in. I have a gut feeling this won’t be the last time he has you crying in my bar if you try to make any kind of relationship work with him.”
“Maybe you’re right. But…Ihave a gut feeling something else was going on when he punched Landon. The guy is a total loser, for one. And then the stuff between us… I don’t know. I need to think.”
He nods slowly. “Good. Think about all of it, Cassie. Remember, you’re making decisions for your child now, too.”
“Oh, I know. This shit wouldn’t be so complicated if I wasn’t thinking about her.”
24
Cassidy
If I thought I was at my lowest point after breaking up with Derek, I was stupid. Losing Chase has mefucked up, and he wasn’t even mine to begin with.
He could’ve been. Almost was.
I should accept that he’s a broken, angry man and it’s not my responsibility to fix him. He’s been this way for as long as I can remember, and it’s silly to think he would suddenly change because of me. The sex is amazing, but it’s not as if I have a magical vagina capable of solving decades of emotional trauma. In fact, I can’t shake the feeling that I played a small part in breaking him.
“Is this an intervention?” I look at Shelby, then Blair.
Over the last two days, I’ve watched approximately 400 episodes of the reality TV show,Intervention, so I know one when I see it. Shelby sets an arm load of snacks down in front of us and sinks into the couch. She’s dressed cute, in leggings and a ripped band T-shirt, hair tied up with a hot-pink scrunchie. I, on the other hand, am the village troll. Most of my normal clothes no longer fit, so I’m wearing a pair of oversized sweatpants, a men’s XXL T-shirt I got for free with a case of beer, and Chase’s hoodie.My hair’s in a messy bun, but not the cute kind.
“If that’s where your mind jumps to when your two best friends want to do a girls’ night, you probably need one.” Blair smiles on my phone screen, which is propped up on the coffee table opposite Shelby and me.
“We wanted to hang out before you return to your senses and start ditching us for your baby daddy again,” Shelby says, pouring us both a fizzing glass of root beer. “Which we’re fully supportive of, by the way. You two are good together.”
