“I’m fine, Dad. Well… I’m not fine. But I’m not contagious.”
Tossing his cleaning rag down, he rushes around the end of the bar to rub slow circles on my back. “Are you having a bad PCOS flare-up? Do we need to take you to the doctor? I can shut things down for the night and drive—”
“Dad. I just came from the doctor.” I interrupt, speaking around the uncomfortable lump in my throat. The longer I sit here, shaking and letting him coddle me, the harder it’s going to be to say what I came here to say. “I’m not having a flare-up. I got blood work done today to check my medication dosages, and it’s all good. My endocrinologist is actually going to be keeping an extra close eye on me for the next while because…” I close my eyes and let out an exhale. “Because I’m pregnant.”
His shoulders drop, taking my heart along with them.Fuck.For at least a full minute, he’s completely silent. And I wish he would scream at me or throw something. Anger would be less heavy than pure disappointment.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for… I think I’m going to—no,I knowI’m keeping it. So…surprise.” Jazz hands do nothing to turn this into exciting news; I tuck my wiggling fingers into my armpits and stare at him.
“Oh, Cassie.” He sighs. “I don’t know what to say… This isn’t what I wanted for you, but I guess that doesn’t matter now, does it?” His massive hand rubs across my forearm, and I fall into him. Like a little girl, holding tight to my daddy’s chest and soaking his shirt with my tears. “It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. Have you talked to Derek?”
“No.” He doesn’t need to know Derek’s not the father. One shocking piece of news at a time. We can cover that in a separate conversation down the road. “I’m not going to.”
“And you’re sure that you’re going to…” The words come out hoarse, dying off before he finishes saying what I think he wants to say.
I mutter against the clean-smelling shirt fabric, “Yes, I’m sure. I’m keeping the baby.”
“Well, against all odds, I raised a beautiful, strong woman on my own. I have no doubt you’ll do an amazing job without that cheating bastard. And you have my help—always.” He kisses the top of my head, patting my hair until I stop weeping.
“Thanks, Dad.” I dab at the corners of my eyes with my shirt sleeve. “Good thing I have the best parent to learn from.”
“And, on the upside, this means I get to be a grandpa. I gotta admit, that’s pretty cool. Even if I’mwaytoo young to be a grandpa.” He lightly nudges me with his elbow.
Sniffling, I smile for the first time. “Yeah, pretty cool.”
“Are you doing okay, kiddo?”
I snort. “Not at all. I’m freaking the hell out on top of feeling terrible all the time—seriously, why call it morning sickness when it’s an all-day thing?”
“Your mom was sick as a dog with you, too. It’ll get better and, I can tell you first hand, it’ll be so worth it. This baby is going to be the best thing that’s ever happened to you—ask me how I know. Let’s have some ice cream. That always helps when you’re feeling down.”
I gag. “Hard pass.”
5
Red
10 weeks after the rodeo
“Atta girl, Heathen.” I hand over half of my apple to my red mare, then start brushing her sweat-soaked body in the dusky barn. She didn’t try to throw me today, which is wildly out of character for her. Deserving of a treat, for once. Although the way she side-eyes me while chewing makes me wonder if stroking her ego was a smart idea—bet any money I’ll spend half the day tomorrow putting her back in her place.
When I’m finished, I turn her out with the rest of the horses for the night. Shaking my head as she immediately flops to the ground and rolls. The mane I just spent five minutes brushing is now full of dirt and twigs.Fuckin’ horse.
A deep voice rings out in the darkness when I’m halfway between the barn and the bunkhouse. “Wait up.”
Spinning in the dusty gravel, I see Denny hoofing it toward me.
“What’s up?” I look him up and down. He’s acting like he’s about to piss his pants, jittery and with a strange look in his eye.
“I’ve been waiting to talk to you all day, man.” He catches his breath, sucking back a devilish smile. “Have you heard anything from Cassidy lately?”
Cassidy?Why would I have talked to her? “Bowman? Can’t say I have.”
“Might want to. Apparently, the girls heard a rumour in town.” I assume he means his two older brother’s girls. Jackson’s wife, Kate, and Austin’s fiancée, Cecily. “I mean, you guys only hooked up the one time at the rodeo, right? I’m sure you’re fine.”
“Spit it out, man.” My heart’s thundering against my ribcage. Despite a sneaking suspicion of what he’s trying to get at, I need to hear him say it.
“Maybe it’s a bullshit rumour, but she might be pregnant…” I don’t hear the rest of what he says—it turns to gibberish. My brain’s liquifying, unable to think of any words except one.Pregnant. I drag a palm across my stubbled jaw and stare blankly at Denny.
