I raised a hand and slowly rubbed her back, purring again to calm her. This was hardly something she should be thankful for. “I’m glad to be of service.”
She chuckled. “I know we haven’t been on the best of terms.”
“That’s only because I’ve been a jackass.”
“No, you weren’t. Yes, you were.”
I kissed the top of her head. “Thanks for the truth. You know I’d never hurt you, right?”
She didn’t reply, and I knew it was because she didn’t believe me. Why would she? I’d been silent, aggressive, scary even. She had no idea what was going through my mind. I’d done a shit job of protecting her both physically and mentally. Why would she ever trust me?
She sighed, not moving. I knew it was my purr. She wouldn’t want to move from my chest anytime soon, and I liked feeling her warmth on top of me. I liked her. That was never the issue. If she only knew. I liked her very much. Too much, maybe. When my wolf first saw her, he wanted her. He’d claimed her in our mind. It was for that reason that I had to keep my distance. My wolf didn’t understand that she really wasn’t ours yet.
“I’ve tried to keep my distance to make you comfortable. I’m not a threat to you. I only want to protect you. I didn’t do a good job of that just now. I let you down.”
She snorted. “You saved my life. That’s far from letting me down.”
“You got hurt.”
She snuggled closer to me, as if it was possible. Despite our distance from each other, she seemed to still want me around. She was a full 180 from earlier today, and perhaps all it took was for me to finally, literally, open my arms to her. Still, a fear gnawed at the back of my head, threatening to overtake me. I could hurt her. I didn’t deserve her. I wasn’t sure I was ready for any disappointment she might have of me.
“It was just a scratch. You did good, Lance. I guess maybe you do like me,” she said.
My purr grew louder, and I brushed a hand over her curly hair, attempting to bat away the doubts stomping around in my head. “I like you very much. I said you were mine because I want you. In my head, I’ve already claimed you.” I looked up at the ceiling, glad she wasn’t positioned to see my face. I felt too exposed right now. “I know that scares you. It scares me. I am doing everything I can to go at your pace.”
She leaned up, looking at me with smiling eyes. “You were just overly cautious. Why are you so nervous?”
I rubbed at my eyes, wanting to avoid telling her about my past. The past, even before I knew the others. We had enough that could push her away, but now I was beginning to realize I didn’t want her to go. We’d been good so far with her. She’d seen Daniel’s true form. Although she didn’t know his history, she hadn’t run. She knew Ty’s past, and Kai was a walking container of craziness. Not to mention her willingness to still get to know us despite her initial anger that we’d spied on her. Why? Should I finally believe the psychic who had predicted her for us? Were we really ready for another omega?
I wound a finger through a lock of her curls, loving the touch of her soft hair. My mind went back to the time I cut her hair, and I almost got hard again just thinking of it. I needed to focus because I had to tell her something. I would feed her a little of my darkness to see if she could handle it. “I come from a family prone to loupism. I’ve been okay, but it’s always made me uncomfortable.”
I didn’t feel her body tense, she still seemed at ease. Perhaps my purring was distracting her. “Has anything ever happened with you before? Does it happen at a certain time?”
“There are signs. I haven’t had any yet. Maybe being part of this pack or having an omega in the past helped me.”
“I can understand being nervous, and hopefully, nothing will ever happen. You’ve got a good support system. Even with Kai.”
I chuckled, kissing her head. How had I let myself not enjoy her kindness? I was a fool.
“And you don’t have to talk about your family right now, but I’m hoping one day you’ll share. Until then, maybe just stop shutting me out. I’m not afraid of you, and I think you should trust yourself more.”
Did that mean she was considering joining us? Had we succeeded in getting her to change her mind about having an alpha if she was talking about the future? My heart ached with hope, but I would not act on it or question her.
Before I could think of a response, I heard her stomach rumble, and I felt a bit of guilt at delaying her eating. “Okay, I’ll do better. Let’s start with getting us some food. Want to order a pizza?”
I hoped this was a step in the right direction. As my mind started to thaw from the haze of lust, I couldn’t ignore the fact that she had been attacked twice now by demons. I was going to step up and better protect her. I would not lose another omega. Not ever.
CHAPTER17
BILLIE
While my time with Lance and all the men was surprisingly amazing, I wasn’t ignoring the fact that demons were after me. The fact that I’d come this far in life without any attacks like this made it very curious. Why now? I’d asked around if this was something unique to omegas first coming out, but none of my online groups knew anything. It seemed this was unique to me.
Typically, when demons attacked multiple times and not the same kind, then it meant one of two things. Someone had sent them after me, and I probably had a mark on my head. Or I was putting out some kind of beacon or pheromone that attracted demons. Something beyond my omega status. It could be the dark mage group, but I felt like small potatoes for them. I had no political power or close proximity to any leadership beyond Chilli, and that was mild beyond her finding me a mate.
I couldn’t ignore the possibility that the guys were behind the attacks to get me closer to them. But that felt so false to me. Lance seemed so vulnerable when I spoke to him. Hell, they all had shown me vulnerable sides. They didn’t need to scare me to want to be with them. Were these alphas really the good ones? Kai had said they were, and all this time, I’d seen nothing to show me otherwise. I was finally believing that maybe these men were viable alpha possibilities for me. I owed it to myself to better explore it before throwing in the towel and trying to go it alone. At least that’s what I told myself so I didn’t fully admit the thought of having alphas was not such a repulsive thing. Not that I was jumping to be claimed just yet.
And whatever the reason for the attacks, it was no longer safe to be alone. That and the fact that my heat was just around the corner. The little waves could be satiated to a degree, but I didn’t want to be caught out there. I had made a decision, and I just had to hope that it was the right one. These guys were safe. They had to be.
