year 512 after nuh’s great flood, era of the heavenly birds
My name came too late for me to use it.
The palace breach was meant as no more than a warning for the Zahr clan. After the riot from the lotus monastery, which Warlord Akashun was waiting for, he laid siege and took the Azadnian throne with the backing of Sajamistani forces.
That night, six of the eight great courtly clans switched allegiance to Akashun and six prefectures followed, in a tenuous alliance. The emperor had underestimated the loyalty of the monasteries, and the love of the common people for Eliyas. Outcries spread across the spring capital.The beloved, pious monk of the Zahr clan executed unjustly without trial, the people bellowed.
We flee Navia, heading to Arsduq prefecture, the last Zahr stronghold, taking momentary refuge in an elder’s landholding.
In a servant’s room there, I do not move for hours. The shadow rests opposite me, curling into the corner of the hearth, staring at my palms as if they are still coated in blood.
The partition shudders open, and Hyat Uncle enters the chambers. He is severe as he stirs the hearth, forcing me to sit below its niche for warmth. My insides are brisk, and no amount of fire will thaw them.
‘Drink this, child.’
I am no child. But my uncle calls me that anyway. He forces my fingers around a teacup of piping kahvah and I hiss from the sudden heat. That strange sensation returns, the one that refused to yield when I was a girl at my tribe’s slaughter; the one I felt as I held poison tomy lips: the feeling of wanting to live, cruel as it is, unable to slip past my fingertips. It screams at me to act.
‘The other clansmen are leaving.’ Hyat says, and I rouse at those words.
From my uncle, I learn the surviving Zahrs are splitting off between Izur and Arsduq prefectures. On the condition of wedding a Zahr, the Izuri warlord did not side with Akashun, just yet. Dunya was left behind in the Navia capital so Zhasna will protect her by remaining in Warlord Akashun’s new court – and as our eyes. Later we find that Dunya did not flee the chaos of the invasion but chose to embrace it, saying her marriage was to the emperor, not the man.
Hyat also informs me that, to appear compliant in this new era of his rule, Akashun has ordered the eldest Zahr clansmen to remain in his court and proposes marriage and clemency to the leftover wives of my father, instead of execution.
Governess Bavsag survived the earlier melee by the Sajamistani. My brother Yun is to go to Arsduq prefecture, to our sister the governess’s stronghold, which controls the bulk of caravan trade to the Camel Road, making her nearly untouchable to the Azadnian warlords.
I glance down at my hands around the cup of kahvah, wondering where I am to go.
Hyat Uncle meets my blank gaze. Suddenly, his suggestion to the emperor from long ago returns at once:She is the first Eajiz from amongst your children; an unprecedented opportunity to infiltrate Sajamistan’s military institute through a kinsman you can trust.
I remember which clan I am a part of: one made to die by the white blade.
And then the thought rises, slow but persistent, reverberating through my limbs as if travelling through a copse of blood and bones: Sajamistan has destroyed my future. But I could reclaim it.
At last, my stiff lips move. ‘I am going.’
Hyat’s head rises with a start. ‘To Arsduq? Or to Izur?’
A mirthless sound bubbles from my throat, and I realise it’s a laugh. ‘Absolutely not.’
Izur prefecture should be my course of action – Uncle could agree to the marriage alliance on my behalf, and I would be stowed in the prefecture at the mercy of a rogue warlord, in exchange for giving him the knowledge of jinn-poisons. The Zahrs, led by Hyat, woulduse the alliance to slowly defy Warlord Akashun while I... would be discarded – somehow, someway.
But I’d miscalculated so much in this game of empires. My entire life has begun and ended with Sajamistan, from the deaths of my tribe in Tezmi’a to now, my Zahr clan.
‘Then where?’ Hyat prods, but his eyes are narrowed, and he seems to know my answer. An easy realisation. Has this not been what I’ve grovelled for years for – the chance to cut down our enemies? I blink hard.
My world rearranges itself until I seemyselfversusthe other. The monsters clad in human skin.
‘I will go to Sajamistan’s great army,’ I spit out. ‘To infiltrate the ranks of our enemies. Had you not proposed it? But now I choose it. I will enlist in their Eajiz battalion.’
‘You mean to go to the city Za’skar, where they breed their strategists, generals and martial warriors.’ It is not a question. A light flickers in Hyat’s eyes, undeniably satisfaction. But he tests me further. ‘You might be discovered as a Zahr.’
‘I am already dead. So for that, there is nothing that Sajamistan has not already destroyed of me.’ My voice almost breaks but I clamp hard on that waver. ‘To win at all costs. Burn down everything they’ve built. I will not forgive those death-worshippers until I’ve paid them in kind. But Hyat Uncle, you must work to turn the great clans in our favour. The Zahrs are fractured without the emperor. My own clan does not trust me. But the only thing that brings our warlords together is unification against our common enemy. It may take years but I must do this. For...’ My voice trails, a bitter emotion choking the words.The emperor. Uma. The Zahrs.Purpose soothes the threat of grief.
I was taught by my clan about retaliation, vengeance, war. In Azadniabad, the monks claimed that corruption spread in Brother-Nature through the escalation of violence, one vile act begetting another, destroying the lands. Countless times I’ve wondered how to reconcile the preaching of warfare with the teachings of my childhood. Violence is used not only to gain power but to keep it. The fool that I was found those teachings jarring but now—
My jaw hardens. I stare at the shadow against the hearth and for a second it morphs into my Older Brother,that monk. My spirit burns with a seismic anger, and finally I feel warm.
Preserve life when you can, promise?Older Brother once asked of me. I am forcing myself not to remember him anymore, but I do remember that oath.
