Do you sometimes still wish it?
He must have been extraordinarily,impossiblyhandsome once upon a time.
“What an utterly foolish thing to say,” she said. “As if you could possibly reply that no, it was not hard at all.”
His one dark eye met hers with a hard, bleak look for a moment as if he were about to make a sharp retort. Then it twinkled, and surprisingly they both laughed. The left side of his mouth lifted higher than the right in a lopsided grin that was curiously attractive.
“Miss Jewell,” he said, “shall we agree, for both our sakes, to pretend that last evening did not happen, that we have met here for the first time this evening?”
“Oh.” She relaxed back a little farther on her chair. “I should like that.”
His left hand was resting on his thigh. It was a long-fingered artist’s hand, she thought. She hoped she was wrong about that last point—or that he was left-handed. She looked up into his face.
“I have been feeling horribly intimidated all evening,” she was surprised to hear herself admit.
“Have you?” he asked her. “Why?”
She wished she had not said it. But he was waiting for her reply.
“Joshua—Lord Hallmere—offered to bring my son here for the summer so that he would have other children to play with,” she explained. “But he is only nine years old, and I have never been separated from him. And so, when I hesitated, the marchioness invited me too and I accepted because I did not want to disappoint my son. But I did not expect to be treated as aguest.”
From his short silence, she realized that she had just told him volumes about herself. And perhaps now it washisturn to run from her or to show some unmistakable sign of revulsion.
“I teach and live at a girls’ school in Bath,” she said. “I like it extremely well, and David has always been happy there. But he is getting older. I suppose I ought to have let him come with Joshua—David worships him.”
“Children do need other children,” he said. “They also need a father figure, especially perhaps if they are boys. But most of all, Miss Jewell, they need a mother. I daresay you did the right thing in coming here with him.”
“Oh.” She drew unexpected comfort from his words. “That is very obliging of you.”
“I hope,” he said, “Bewcastle has not intimidated you. But if he has, you may be consoled to know that he intimidates almost everyone. He was removed abruptly from a wild childhood when his father knew he was dying, and he was carefully, even ruthlessly trained to take over all the vast responsibilities of the dukedom, which he inherited when he was only seventeen or eighteen. He learned his lessons consummately well—too well, some would say. But he is not unfeeling. He has been remarkably good to me.”
“I met him for the first time this evening,” Anne told him. “He was very gracious, though I must confess I was ready to sink through the floor with fear.”
They both laughed again.
“The duchess is exceedingly amiable,” she said.
“According to Lauren, my sister-in-law,” he told her, “it was a love match. It was the sensation of last year. No one would have predicted that Bewcastle would marry for love. But perhaps he did.”
The tea tray was being brought in, and two of the card games were coming to an end.
“I must be going home,” Mr. Butler said. “I am pleased to have made your acquaintance, Miss Jewell.”
She set both hands on the arms of her chair and got to her feet. She noticed that he got up a little more slowly from his low chair, and it occurred to her that being without one arm and one eye must shift the natural balance of the body that she took so very much for granted. How long had it taken him to adjust to the change? Had he ever adjusted completely?
“I shall go and convey my thanks to the duchess,” he said, holding out his hand to her. “Good night.”
“Good night, Mr. Butler.”
She held out her own hand and he shook it before releasing it and turning away.
Anne was left biting her lip. She should, of course, have given him herlefthand as she remembered the duchess had done earlier. Their handshake had been horribly awkward—as if they had been holding hands and swinging them. It had felt almost intimate. Embarrassingly so.
He was bowing to the Duchess of Bewcastle, who smiled warmly at him and set one hand on his arm while she leaned a little toward him to say something. Lord Rannulf came up behind him and slapped a hand on his right shoulder. The two men left the room together.
Where did he live? Anne wondered.
Would she see him again?
