And here she was on her wedding day. These were the last few moments of her solitude—until after the wedding anyway. And then it would not be solitude she would be seeking.
She smiled and turned from the window when a tap on the door heralded the arrival of Stephanie and Pippa and Jennifer wheeling herself in her chair.
“Oh, Mama,” Stephanie said, hurrying across the room to hug her. “You look beautiful.”
“Even unadorned as I am?” Clarissa asked.
“You do not need adornment, Mother,” Jennifer said.
They were all dressed smartly for the wedding. They were soon followed into the room by Ben and Nicholas, who was looking resplendent and a bit formidable in his scarlet dress uniform, and by Owen and Gwyneth.
“I have been holding the little girls back,” Gwyneth said. “I did not want them to get in your way, Mother. They are very excited. May I bring them? And by the way, you look gorgeous.” She smiled warmly.
Her bridesmaids looked like rosebuds, Clarissa thought, though they lacked the serenity she associated with those flowers. Joy had apparently taught the other two girls to bounce—or perhaps it was in the nature of young girls to do so when they were excited. Had Pippa been the same? And Stephanie? Had she?
“We had better be on our way to church,” Gwyneth said. “Mother cannot go until we do, and she will not want to be late.”
There was a great deal of noise as everyone hugged her before leaving the room. Ben took Joy by the hand and led her out while Gwyneth took Matthew’s nieces.
“We will meet at the back of the church later,” Clarissa said.
And then she was alone again, though only for a few moments while she went into her dressing room and Millicent helped her on with her cloak and handed her the bouquet. By the time she returned, Devlin was standing in the doorway.
“I don’t know about you, Mama,” he said after looking her over slowly from head to foot. “But I am feeling a bit emotional. Are you really as happy as you have been seeming for the past few months?”
“I am,” she said. “Not least because you have all accepted the life I am choosing. It has not been easy for you, I know.”
“Well, it was a bit of a shock at first, I must confess,” he said. “But I ought to have trusted you from the start, Mama. You have chosen a life that is perfect for you. He is a good man. I think he will prove himself to be the husband you always deserved.” He paused and frowned for a moment as though remembering his father, but he shook his head firmly and smiled. “I am happy. We all are.”
She smiled back at him.
“I can only hope,” he said, “I do not start bawling at church when I have to give you away.”
They both laughed.
“Mama,” he said, “I love you.”
“And I will love you too if you get me to church in time,” she said.
As he drew her hand through his arm and led her downstairs and out to the waiting carriage, the reality of it all struck her anew.
This was her wedding day.
—
More than ever, as he sat in a front pew with the church filled behind him and he imagined the crowd outside swelling as the time of the marriage service drew near, Matthew realized that weddings were indeed for the families of the bride and groom andfor their friends and neighbors. And he was glad they had not eloped, Clarissa and he, though his suggestion that they do so had not been a serious one.
He had been surrounded by happiness yesterday, first with the arrival of Reggie and his whole family and then with the banquet last evening. And he had not held himself apart from it. He had been happy too. So had Clarissa.
It felt very good indeed to be an integral part of something larger than himself. He had ignored his family for far too long. He had held himself at an emotional distance from everyone all his adult life, though he had not quite realized it. He had been contented and at peace and had not looked for happiness. Now he had found it—in himself, in his relationship with Clarissa, and in his dealings with their families and neighbors and friends.
He was feeling nervous. He was also feeling…happy.
Sounds of a flurry of activity from the back of the church rose above the soft hum of conversation within, and he knew Clarissa had arrived. The Reverend Danver, in his church vestments, was signaling him to rise. Reggie was feeling around in a pocket, no doubt checking to make sure the ring was where it was supposed to be. A loud musical chord silenced every other sound, and the organ began to play.
Matthew turned to watch his bride approach along the nave, her hand drawn through the arm of her son, the Earl of Stratton.
And yes, he was a part of something that involved two whole families and this whole neighborhood where they lived. But it was something else too. It was something just for the two of them. It was for Clarissa and him. They were about to marry.
