He turned to stride away in the direction of the house, not pausing to see if his brother would accompany him.
•••
Theyall knew or would soon know. The whole family would know why she had put an end to her betrothal just the day after it had been announced. Because he had foolishly spoken to Victor and had foolishly assumed that she would marry him. He might have asked her first. They might have spared their families the sordid, painful truth.
But perhaps not. Perhaps they would have suspected—Lord Powell had—and questioned and cajoled. And then they would have thought the worse of Ashley for keeping silence. They would have thought, perhaps, that he was trying to avoid doing what was honorable.
What was honorable! Emily, still in the conservatory, stared down at her hands. She had given her promise two days ago. Yesterday she had consented to a public announcement. And last night... She sighed.
And she had been so very wrong. She had thought to give comfort. When she had understood what he needed of her, she had gone ahead anyway. She had sacrificed everything, including honor, in order to give comfort. And she had failed miserably.
But she would not make matters even worse. She would not take the coward’s way out. She would not marry him. Ashley. She spread her hands on her lap. There was not a part of her that did not ache, she thought. Even her fingers. Even her heart. Especially her heart.
Anna was the first to find her, a long time later or five minutes later—time meant nothing to Emily this morning. Her sister drew up a chair and sat down beside her. It was tempting not to look up, to remain hidden inside her very private and silent life. And she did not look up for a while. But she could not hurt Anna more than she already must be hurt, Emily told herself. Anna had been a mother to her. She raised her eyes.
Anna’s face still showed the red marks of dried tears. “Emmy,” she said. “Oh, Emmy.”
Emily reached across and touched her hand. But it was too late to be offering anyone comfort.
“Lord Powell was so stiff and angry on the outside, so hurt on the inside,” Anna said. “But you did the right thing meeting him face-to-face instead of having Victor do it for you. I must admire you for that.”
Dear Anna. Always so reluctant to condemn. Always looking for good, even when there was none. Emily patted her hand.
“Luke just came to me,” Anna said. “He told me you will not marry Ashley. Is it true, Emmy? And is it true that...” She shrugged her shoulders, and color flooded into her cheeks. “But that is none of my concern. He told Luke that he will ask you again. Will you not have him?”
Emily shook her head.
“But you love him.” Anna had taken her sister’s hand in both of hers. “You always have. Even during the years he was away. Even after he married and after his son was born. That is the only explanation for—for what perhaps happened last night. It must have been dreadful for you to have watched the suffering he tried so very valiantly yesterday to hide from us. Now you could marry him, Emmy. Indeed, many people would say you have no choice but to marry him.”
Emily shook her head.
Anna squeezed her hand tightly. “Then I will support you in your decision,” she said. “I will not allow anyone to bully you. I have always told you that you need not marry anyone, that you may remain here for the rest of your life. You are my sister, but you have always felt like one of my own children. You were just a child when Mama was so ill, and even when she died. I love you like one of my own, Emmy. You are as dear to me as Joy or any of the boys.”
That was the trouble, Emily thought. Oh, that was the trouble. She would have no choice but to stay here, a burden for the rest of her life on people who had lives of their own to live. Ashley’s own brother. There would be no escaping now. She had lost her chance with Lord Powell. She had refused her chance with Ashley. And there could be no other man.
“Come and have something to eat,” Anna said. “I would guess that you have not eaten all day.”
She shook her head. She could not eat. Even less could she go back into the house and face other people. They would all know by now. They would all look at her, perhaps with condemnation, perhaps with pity, perhaps with embarrassment. They would all know that last night she had lain with Ashley. How very public it had become, what they had done together at the falls. Ashley, she thought, would have the additional embarrassment of having it known that she had refused to allow him to retrieve his honor.
And she had thought to comfort him!
Anna left her, but had a tray of food sent in a short while later. Emily ate an apple and sipped a cup of tea.
•••>
“Shewill have to be made to see reason,” Charlotte said. “The trouble with Emily is that she has always been allowed to do whatever she wishes because of her affliction. No one has ever taught her any sense of duty. Perhaps you would explain it to her, Jeremiah. Perhaps she will listen to you, considering the fact that you are—”
“I hardly think, my love—,” the Reverend Jeremiah Hornsby began.
“If anyone is to speak to Emily,” the Earl of Royce said sharply, “’twill be me.”
Everyone, with the exception of Emily and Ashley, was gathered in the dining room, though very little food was being consumed. A family conference was in progress.
“No one will speak to Emily,” Anna said. “She has made up her mind. We would do well to remember that she is of age, that she is no longer a child.”
“Pox on it,” Lord Quinn said. “My own nephy is the villain of this piece. As I live, I would draw his cork for him this very minute if he were to walk through that door.”
“There are ladies present, Theo,” Luke said.
