It had been the wrong thing to say. “You are going home to Everleigh soon?” Estelle said.
“Thisis home,” Maria said, pulling the drawstrings to close the bag. “But yes. I will be leaving here within the next few days. I am glad to have the chance to say goodbye to you in person, Estelle. I will miss you. Dreadfully. And Lord Watley too.AndMelanie.” She looked for a moment as if she might cry, but she blinked her eyes determinedly and smiled.
“Bertrand and I have been invited to go to Everleigh too,” Estelle said. “To spend a few weeks with you.”
Maria gazed at her in openmouthed surprise.
“We have not said yes,” Estelle told her. “Nor have we said no. We have discussed the invitation with each other but are agreed that the decision is not ours alone to make. We would be happy to give you our company at Everleigh Park for a while, but only if our going there would makeyouhappy too.”
Maria was frowning now. “He called upon you with such an invitation without saying a word to me?” she asked.
“The Earl of Brandon is your guardian, Maria, and obviously takes his responsibility seriously,” Estelle said gently, though she still resented having been drawn into the apparent quarrel between brother and sister, about which she knew nothing and which was none of her business anyway. And where had he been for the past six years if indeed he took his duties seriously? “He must believe it is essential that you return to live at Everleigh Park rather than remain alone here when you are still a minor. However, he is fully aware that you do not want to go. And he knows you do not...likehim. He fears you will be lonely and unhappy there without even Melanie for company. So he invited Bertrand and me to make the transition easier for you.” Oh, why should she feel obliged to explain the earl’s motives? That was for him to do.
“Easier!”Maria said with soft incredulity. “And what else did he say?”
Estelle sighed as her friend came to sit beside her on the wrought iron seat.
“About whatever is between you and him, do you mean?” she asked. “Nothing at all. We did not ask. And we do not wish to know orneedto know. We have no desire to be caught in the middle of some old quarrel that does not concern us. Butyouconcern us, Maria. I have grown very fond of you. You must go back to Everleigh Park, it seems. The Earl of Brandon has told Bertrand and me that, andyouhave told me. I will be sorry to lose you. YouandMelanie. I will worry about you too because I know you are unhappy about having to go. But if Bertrand and I go, it will be solely for the purpose of giving you our company for a week or two until you feel settled and comfortable there again. Perhaps by then you will have employed a new companion. We will goonlyif it is what you wish, however.”
“Hisrelativesare going to be there too,” Maria said.
“Oh?” Estelle said. “Well. Then you will have company even without us. That will surely be pleasant for you.”
“His aunt and uncle and cousins,” Maria explained. “Hismother’srelatives.”
“Do you know them?” Estelle asked.
“No,” Maria said. “They never came to Everleigh after Papa married Mama. I believe he might have gone a time or two to visit them. I do not remember. But if he did, he never took Mama or me. Brandon—thepresentBrandon—used to go there for a month each summer. He never took me.” For a brief, unguarded moment there was something in her eyes that looked like wistfulness.
“They will surely love meeting you,” Estelle said.
“They hated Mama.” Maria’s fingers were pleating themuslin of her skirt and then smoothing out the slight creases they had made.
“How do you know that?” Estelle asked.
“Because she told me so,” Maria said. “They resented her and were jealous of her. I suppose they thought Papa should spend the rest of his life mourning his first wife.”
It could have happened that way, Estelle supposed. But it was all long ago. And Maria was not her mother. Surely they would not resent her too—especially if they had already agreed to go to Everleigh Park to meet her.
“Have you thought to suggest that Lord Brandon also invite some ofyourrelatives?” Estelle asked. But oh dear,werethere any? If there were, they had never come here. At least, they had not done so during the two years she and Bertrand had been back at Elm Court.
Maria made a few more pleats in her skirt. “They all hated Mama,” she said. “They would have nothing to do with her after she married Papa.”
Ah.
All sorts of questions crowded into Estelle’s mind, most of them about the late Countess of Brandon. But it was not her business to ask any of them. She was almost sorry now that she and Bertrand had not simply decided to decline the earl’s invitation without even consulting Maria. The atmosphere at Everleigh was not likely to be a happy one. They had had enough of family awkwardness and resentments in their own lives, she and Bertrand, before they had battled their way to the harmonious family relationships and tranquility they enjoyed now. She wanted the time and leisure to appreciate those things without taking on another family’s problems. However, they were committed now—depending upon Maria’s decision, anyway.
“Estelle.” Maria turned on the seat and took one of herhands in both her own. “I do beg your pardon. I try not to allow myself to be dragged down into gloom and depression. Sometimes it is difficult, but I had years of practice during the decline of Mama’s health. I learned that there is always something to smile about and make life worth living. Just having her alive and still with me and sometimes without pain was enough to buoy my spirits whenever I felt them drooping. And to come out here and tend the roses and cut some to set in a vase in her room, where she could see them and sometimes smile at them. To have friends. To find joy in little things. I am so glad you have come to see me and are my friend.”
Estelle smiled and squeezed her hand.
“But I am lonely here,” Maria told her. “I love it; it is home. I have Melanie and some friends. But I am lonely. I had no chance really to feel it while Mama was still alive, and I was too sad during much of the past year to find it irksome. But... Estelle, I want tolive.I want to... dance. And...flirt.I am not sure that is the right word, for it sounds rather wicked. But I want to be young. I want to be courted. I want and want and want. Is that horridly selfish and trivial-minded of me? Melanie talks often of fortitude, and she shows it herself all the time, poor thing, because she has never had a chance herself to... tolive.Her father is not very wealthy but he has a large family, mostly boys who need to be educated so they can find gainful employment. And now her mother is tired but still has a number of very young children. Oh dear, I am talking too much. But, Estelle, I would not mind so terribly much having to go back to Everleigh if I did not have to go withhimand live there with him.”
She bit her lower lip and looked at Estelle in some dismay. She had indeed spoken more freely than she had everdone before. Estelle had thought she was happy here, as she and Bertrand were at Elm Court. But they had already lived the sort of life Maria craved, and still did whenever they chose to venture from home to participate in a family celebration or enjoy a few weeks of a London Season. They had chosen their present way of life because, at least for now, it was what suited them best.
“It will all happen for you,” she assured her friend. “And perhaps you can take comfort from the fact that your brother is determined that it will. You may not like him, Maria, but he does seem to have your best interests at heart.”
“I can never do anything less than hate him,” Maria said. “He broke Papa’s heart and therefore he broke Mama’s too. And mine. I can never forgive him.”
