cameas soon as I was free. I owe you an apology."
Jane shook her head. "No, please do not," she said.
"I must," he said. He had stopped some distance from her. He stood now, his hands clasped behind his back. "My behavior last night was unpardonable. You are a guest in my house, Jane, and betrothed to my friend. You refused my hand when I offered it a few weeks ago. And yet I—"
"Please," she said. "Can we not forget it? I would rather not talk about it. I was as much to blame as you."
He shook his head. "No, don't think that," he said. "Do not blame yourself. I don't ask your pardon, Jane. I do not believe what I did was forgivable. But I wanted you to know that it will not happen again. I…" He took a ragged breath. "I suppose I have been lonely. It is more than a year since my wife died. And there you were, close beside me, lovely and full of laughter from our duet. I am afraid my need got the better of decency and courtesy and common sense. I thought I had better control of my instincts. But it will not happen again, Jane. You have my word on it. You need not feel afraid of me."
She stared at him wide-eyed.
"You are uncomfortable in my presence, I see," he said with that same twisted smile she had seen the night before and when he first arrived. "Perhaps you are frightened despite my assurances. I cannot blame you. I shall leave you to your quiet enjoyment of the flowers again." He bowed and turned to walk away from her back to the house.
Jane did not see him out of sight. The flowers, the sky, his retreating back: everything blurred before her vision. It was as she had thought, then. Pure physical need had driven him the night before. She had not admitted even to herself until this moment the desperate hope that perhaps he loved her as she loved him. How ridiculous she was. How very stupid!
"So now you will be able to travel to the Continent on your wedding trip after all," Lord Dart said at the luncheon table.
"It seems so,"Sedgeworthagreed, turning to smile at Jane. "It will be preferable to Scotland in the autumn anyway."
"You will be able to travel through Belgium to see where the battle took place," Honor said rapturously. "Did you say it was close to Brussels, my lord?"
"South of there," Lord Dart said. "Close to a village called Waterloo. Apparently his grace has decreed that the battle shall be called after it."
"The Battle of Waterloo," Honor said. "I do wish I could see the place."
Jane shuddered. "It is a mass graveyard, Honor," she said. "Do not glamorize it."
"But history has been made there, Jane," her cousin insisted. "Do you not believe that Bonaparte will be remembered as one of the greats of history?"
"Surely history can find worthier men to remember," Jane said.
"I do not believe Bonaparte is as bad as many people say," Honor said. "If other nations had not sneered so much because he has no royal blood, perhaps he would not have had to prove his worth by conquests. Is he so much worse than some of the other rulers of Europe?"
She caughtSedgeworth'samused eye at that moment and blushed hotly. "At least that is what Lord Henley told me in London," she said. "And he ought to know. I don't know, of course. I am a mere female. I am content to leave the thinking to the men of this world." She frowned crossly atSedgeworth, who had mouthed the final words with her.
"I am merely thankful that the job has been done and we are at peace again," Fairfax said."Though I grieve for the many good men who must have been lost to both nations."
"Joseph told you that the Reverend Beasley and his wife and older children have accepted your invitation to dinner this evening?" Lady Dart asked Fairfax. "They are a very pleasant couple and the young people prettily behaved.And five younger children too.That is quite a family, my lord."
Fairfax laughed. "You will probably hear Mrs. Beasley complaining that her husband gives away all their money to the poor despite the largeness of their family," he said. "But then she will assure you in the next breath that they live on love and that love is quite the best sort of wealth to possess."
A very sensible attitude to take, under the circumstances, I am sure," Lady Dart said. "Are we to take the children out this afternoon again, since we are to have some adult entertainment this evening?"
"I must admit I have promised to take my girls swimming if the weather is warm enough," Fairfax said. "I hope none of you will feel neglected?"
"Mr.Sedgeworth," Honor said loudly, "you and I must console each other since everyone else seems to dote on the children. You must row me on the lake and show me that island.Unless you want to play hide-and-seek or make daisy chains, that is."
Everyone laughed at the world of scorn in her voice.
"I am afraid I have not offered much in the way of entertainment for a young lady who is making her debut in society, have I?" Fairfax said rather ruefully.
"Oh, no matter," she said. "Mr. Percival Beasley and Miss Cora Beasley both assured me earlier that they enjoy charades. We will see tonight if they can beat Mr.Sedgeworthand me."
Lady Dart groaned.
"And Percy is really quite handsome in a very nineteen-year-old way," Honor whispered to Jane, who sat beside her. "I believe I have enslaved him already."
Jane saw no possibility of having any of the serious talks she had planned, during the afternoon at least. She would have liked to excuse herself from the outing, but she did not want to draw attention to herself and perhaps dampen the spirits of some of the others. She stayed to the back of the group on their walk to the lake, talking to Gregory, who confided his indignation at still having to listen to a governess when he was all of ten years old. It would be two whole years before he would be sent away to school.
