Jane swallowed. She felt a twinge of alarm. Was she doing the right thing? He was acting forall theworld like a man in love. What had she done? She had betrothed herself to this man, her friend. Had she done both him and herself a terrible disservice? Friendship and marriage were two vastly different situations. Could she be a good wife to him? Oh, but she wanted to be. She wanted the warm security that marriage to him could bring her. She would have a friend by her side for life.
"Tears, Miss Matthews?" he asked softly.
She realized that they had been staring at each other for some time and that both her hands lay in his.
She laughed shakily. "This is all very new to me," she said. "I think I am very happy too, sir."
He grinned. "You think?" he said. "And will you call me by my given name? It is Joseph."
"Yes," she said, "Joseph."
"Jane," he said, smiling, "may I kiss you?"
She nodded and closed her eyes as he bent his head to hers. Their hands were still clasped. She had never been kissed before. His lips were cool, firm against hers. He kept them there long enough for her to become fully aware of his physical presence. She must grow accustomed to this and to a great deal more. It was not unpleasant. She realized as he lifted his head that she was gripping his hands very tightly.
He looked into her eyes before smiling. "There," he said. "Was it a terrible ordeal, Jane?"
She laughed, half in embarrassment, half in relief. "No, not at all," she said.
"I have committed myself to going to Templeton Hall next week," he said. "Joy and Wallace and the children are going also. Will you come too, Jane? We can get to know each other better in the country, and you can become better acquainted with part of my family. I would hate to go and know I would not see you for a few weeks."
Jane felt instant alarm. "Oh no," she said. "I could not possibly intrude on a house party."
"Nonsense," he said. "Fairfax is my best friend. We are almost like brothers. He will be delighted to have you come too and to have the greater chance to tease me. Besides, I have suggested to him that he invite Miss Jamieson. He will be more ready to do so, I believe, if you are going to be there too. Do say yes, Jane. Please."
She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders at the same time. Words would not come.
He squeezed her hands and got to his feet, drawing her with him. "How stupid I am," he said, "inviting you to someone else's house party and expecting you to accept. Of course you are greatly embarrassed. The invitation must come from Fairfax himself. He will persuade you. He has great charm with ladies, does Fairfax. You will not resist his persuasions, my girl. Oh, Jane"—he squeezed her hands almost painfully—"what a very fortunate man I am. I can hardly believe it yet. All week I have been in terror that when I put the question you would refuse."
She smiled and leaned impulsively forward to rest her forehead against hisneckclothfor a moment. "I am the fortunate one, sir," she said. "Joseph."
He tucked one of her hands beneath his arm and turned back in the direction of the music and the crowds.
Honor was in very high spirits. She had quite convinced herself that Fairfax had arranged it all himself. Why he would have made arrangements through his friend to escort her to Vauxhall and why he would do so after two weeks of making no attempt to see her, she did not stop to consider. It was sufficient for the evening that she was being seen byall theworld in company with the most handsome man in London.
They danced a great deal. At Vauxhall the conventions did not apply. They were free to dance with each other far more than the two sets that were the limit at more formal events. And Honor liked to dance beneath the lights, where she could be seen and admired by members of theton,cits, and lower-class people alike. They walked too, along the broader paths where the bulk of the crowds strolled. And they stopped to exchange civilities with numerous acquaintances, even those who were masked. Most of the masks at Vauxhall were worn for effect rather than to disguise.
And Fairfax finally had his kiss. She seemed eager for it. It seemed to be she rather than he who led their steps along dimmer, quieter paths after they must have been seen by most of the people in attendance that night. It was surely her footsteps that lagged more than his when they reached a particularly dark portion of the path. They both stopped, but was it she who exerted rather more pressure on his arm than he did on hers? Fairfax could not be sure. He knew only that he did not resist and that he despised himself even as he turned to her.
He kissed her hungrily, pulling her small, shapely body against his own, parting his lips over hers,trying—in vain—totease her soft lips open. He wanted her. He would like to take her among the trees and… Fairfax straightened up and tried to steady his breathing without showing her how disturbed he was. Why take his anger out on her anyway? She was not its cause. And she was just an innocent young girl despite her flirtatious ways.
She was smiling up at him in what he supposed she thought a seductive manner. "Why, Lord Fairfax!" she said. "How you do take advantage of one."
"Pardon me, ma'am," he said, trying not to sound irritable or abrupt. "You are too lovely for your own good, I fear. Let me take you back to Lady Dart's box. It must be close to suppertime."
He could not see her very clearly, but she looked disappointed. "It is pleasant here," she said."Very quiet and peaceful."
"And dangerous too, ma'am, I do assure you," he said. This time his voice did sound abrupt. He attempted to smile. "Your mother would not like you to be alone like this without a female companion. Let us go and find out if the orchestra will play another waltz."
But when they reached the end of the path and turned onto another, she pulled on his arm again. "Here are Jane and Mr.Sedgeworth," she said. "Ho, Jane, do come with us and dance. You have not done so all evening. And it is so wonderful to dance out-of-doors."
Fairfax could feelhimselfstiffen and was powerless either to understand his own reaction or to do anything about it. Sedge was grinning at him as if he knew that the little Miss Jamieson had just been thoroughly and quite indecorously kissed. He was probably waiting for them to announce their betrothal. Damn Sedge! If he was not careful, Fairfax was going to put himself into a position of feeling obliged to offer for the girl. And he really had no wish to do so. He had found her chatter during the evening quite tedious, and when he had kissed her he had felt lust only, not any degree of tenderness.
He tried not to look at Miss Matthews. Sedge was still grinning. "This is an evening to remember, Fairfax," he said. "You owe me congratulations."
Fairfax's heart turned over within him. "Oh?" he said, one eyebrowraised.
"Miss Matthews has just made me the happiest of men,"Sedgeworthsaid. "She has agreed to be my wife. Now, what do you think of that!"
