“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said, drawing her back into his arms. “You are so very beautiful, Adèle, and I didpromise at our wedding to worship you with my body, didI not?”
“I am not embarrassed,” she said. “I want you to see me, John. I want you to touch me. I want you to know me.I want to feel you i-inside me. Thatiswhat happens, is itnot?”
He had to draw a slow, steadying breath before answering. “Deep inside,” he murmured against her ear. “Where we will share bodies and beget children. Where we will behusband and wife together.”
He moved his hand over her as he spoke, feeling the small waist, the feminine curve of her hip, the firm, shapelybuttock. He slipped his hand into the warmth between herlegs, parting the folds with gentle fingers—stroking, probing slowly, giving her time to master the shock that hadbeen indicated by a sharply indrawn breath, and to relaxagain.
“Mm,” he said, his mouth against hers. “Wonderful. You are warm and wet. No, don’t tense. It is as you shouldbe. Your body has readied itself so that we can unite without discomfort.”
But he knew there would be pain for her. He had no experience with virgins. He hoped he could be carefulenough. It would not be easy. He was on fire for her.
She did not help him. She looked up at him as he turned her onto her back and lifted himself over her. But she didnot hinder him either. She let him push her legs wide astridehis and she slid her feet up the bed when he whispered thesuggestion to her. She watched him steadily as he positioned himself and mounted her very slowly.
The passage was small and tight. He could feel his heart beating in his throat and in his ears. He ignored two warringurges—one to withdraw lest he hurt her, the other to thrustmindlessly inward for release—and opened her as gentlyas he could. He felt the barrier and saw the pain of it inher face as she closed her eyes and bit her lower lip. Butthen it was gone and he moved inward to his full length.
He had never really thought before of sex as a uniting of bodies. He thought of it now. It was as if he had fittedhimself to the missing part of himself. It was a magnificent,heady feeling, despite the fact that he was still fully arousedand pulsing with the need to thrust himself to climax.
Her eyes had opened again. He kept most of his weight on his forearms.
“Am I hurting you?” he whispered.
“There could be no happier moment than this,” she said. “If only I could keep you here forever and ever.”
He smiled at her. And he held still in her, allowing her body to accustom itself to the stretching and the invasion,allowing her mind to adjust to this new status of her being.Then he withdrew slowly.
Her hands pressed against his waist. “Oh, not yet,” she said. “Must it end so soon?”
He lowered his head and kissed her softly. “It is beginning,” he said to her. “I am going to love you, Adèle. Relax and enjoy it. Or if you want to move, if there isanything you wish to do for your pleasure, do it. We are together—not master and servant, but man and wife. We are both lover and we are both beloved.”
“Oh,” she said, “I am so ignorant. There was no one to tell me ... I did not expect... Oh!”
He had pushed firmly back into her.
He had always been an energetic lover and he had always had experienced, uninhibited women. That was true of bothhis persons. He had always been able to take his own pleasure in the confident knowledge that his woman would takeher equal share. It had always been two separate peopletaking pleasure from each other. Even with Allison.
Having to think of someone else, having to remember that this was all new to her, having to hold back his ownpleasure so that she would remember her first experiencewith joy—it was all paradoxically erotic. He had never desired as much as he did now; he had never enjoyed as muchas he did now. And he had never before now, he realized,made love. He had had sex—marvelously satisfying sex inmany cases, but never more than that.
He made love to Adèle.
He moved slowly at first so that her body could learn the beauty of rhythm. When the insides of her thighs pressedmore firmly against his and her pelvis tilted to allow himgreater depth, he moved faster, pumping deeply into warm,moist depths, almost delirious with his knowledge of her—biblical knowledge. He had never before thought of theterm while having sex.
Despite the weakness of his body, he used a strength and a control he had not thought himself capable of, workingsteadily in her until her hands spread over his buttocks andher legs twined about his and she closed her inner musclesabout him. She was making soft guttural noises.
Then he slowed, deepened even further, coaxed her tothe orgasm he could feel coming, held firm in her while it came and blossomed about his hardness—and while sheshuddered into quiet fulfillment. He reached his own climaxswiftly, urgently, blessedly, and let his seed gush deep inside her. His body had become one pulse, it seemed. Herelaxed down onto her.
She was crying helplessly, with deep, painful sobs, a minute or two later. He drew free of her body, rolled toher side, gathered her to him, and pulled the blankets overtheir sweat-dampened bodies. He smoothed one handthrough her hair, kissed her tears, made soothing, shushingnoises.
She was his wife. They had been one as he had never imagined two people could be one. He knew why she wascrying. He was not alarmed.
“One body,” he said to her. “We know what that means now, do we not?”
“John.” His name was almost an agony on her lips. “What have I ever done that God has been so good tome?”
“At the risk of being sacrilegious,” he said, kissing her nose, “I do not believe God had much to do with that.”
“Oh, but He did,” she said earnestly. “John. Do youknowjust how ill you were? Do you know that just a fewweeks ago I thought the pinnacle of human happinesswould be to have your name? That I wished for nothingelse—nothing!—except the privilege of holding you in myarms until you d—” She choked on the word. “I wouldhave thought myself well-blessed. Ididthink it when youagreed to marry me—I never expected that you would. Ourwedding day was the happiest day of my life. I never expected—oh, I never expectedmarriage.”
“It is what you have, nevertheless,” he said, finding her mouth with his. “And what you will have for years andyears to come, God willing. You had better get used to it.Once or twice a night for the next fifty years or so, not tomention the days—do you like the sound of it? Or will itbecome one of those wifely chores that women have toendure in exchange for the respectability of marriage?’ ’
