His horse was as impatient and as full of energy as it had been the night before. And he was showing asmuch skilled horsemanship as he had then, controllingit with his knees while his head was tilted back to lookup at the window and his arms reached up and beckoned. The sadness, the longing, the indecision, thefear, the love, were intensified a hundredfold as Dinahgazed back down at him.
But the window was nailed shut and the door of her chamber was locked from the outside. Did he not realize that? Probably not. It had not been so when hewas still at home. But in the last few months it hadbeen so, ever since Lord Asquith, her guardian, hadintercepted a letter to her from Charles—his belovedson and therefore the more hated for his defection tothe other side of battle lines she neither understoodnor cared about.
He stretched his arms out to her and spread his fingers. There was intense hunger in his upturned face.
But soon—very soon now—there would be dreadful wrath in the house, even worse than there had been inthe weeks before Charles left and in the days followinghis hasty departure. For soon all would be known.And yet would she avoid that wrath even if she couldnow? For going with Charles would mean hard times,perhaps a long sea voyage if he was determined, as hehad said in another letter that he was, to escape hisfather’s wrath and his own unhappiness to a new world.She could not face those hardships. Not now.
She spread a hand just below her waist and rested it against her rounding form.Charles! Oh, Charles. Ourchild. Our future. Our happiness.She rested her forehead against the glass and gazed down into his much loved face. And she knew with a sharp pain, almost as if he had shouted out to tell her so, that this wasthe last time he would come. If she did not go withhim tonight, that would be the end. There would beno other chance.
And she knew that the locked door was an excuse for her cowardice. For Martha would have come toopen it if she had pleaded well enough. Martha hadalways loved her. Martha had been more like themother she had never known than a mere servant. Shecould have gone to him if she had been really determined to do so.
Forgive me, Charles,she begged him with her eyes.Forgive me, my love. Don’t leave. Come back again.Please come back. Perhaps tomorrow I will find thecourage. Or the next day. Charles, don’t leave. Forgive me.
Charles Neville turned his hands palm in again and beckoned to her.
Dinah stepped back from the window and drew a slow and ragged breath. “Fool,” she whispered. “Oh,foolish girl. Your child might be lost just as easilyhere, you know, even with the care of doctors andmidwives. Either to death or to the care of a grandfather who will despise you and keep you from yourchild. And he might live if you go with your dark rider.He loves you and will care for you to the best of hisability. Go to him.”
But the sad lady was too intent on her own misery to pay Dinah any heed.
“You are right about one thing,” Dinah said. “I felt it with you there. This is the last time he willcome. But he has come and has kept coming for almost two centuries, you foolish girl. What further proof of his devotion could you have? Would you wishhim to keep coming forfivecenturies?”
The sad lady said nothing, and forgetting for the moment in her feeling of urgency that the space beforethe parted curtains was occupied, Dinah stepped forward again to see if the dark rider was still there.
His hands were holding the reins. His head was bowed down so that his chin was resting on his chest.His shoulders were slumped in defeat. But he raisedhis head again slowly and he raised his arms oncemore in a gesture of supplication and longing. He didnot beckon.
Charles! Don’t go away. Don’t leave me. Oh, dear God, how can I live if you go away? Please, Charles,please. I am going to have your child.
Dinah pulled herself back again. But the panic in her was as strong as it was in the sad lady.
“Go!” she commanded. ‘‘Don’t you see? In a moment he will be gone, and he will never return. You will be sorry for all eternity.”
But there was no response to her plea. She ran without thought into her dressing room and dragged on her half boots and drew her cloak about her with hastyhands. She paused only after she had the door of thebedchamber open and was halfway across the threshold.
“Look!” she told the invisible lady at the window. “It is unlocked. I will even leave it open for you. Ishall try to delay him. Oh, do come. This is your lastchance for happiness. Your last chance in all eternity.”
And she raced along winding corridors and down the grand staircase and through the great hall and outthrough the front doors, which were again unbolted, through the courtyard and around the flower bed andabout the base of the white tower.
But he was gone. There was no one there at all on the grass beneath the window of her bedchamber. Dinah stood very still, her heart leaden. She had missedher chance. The poor sad lady had missed her chance.She closed her eyes briefly and felt too full of leadendespair even to cry. Then she raised her head andlooked up at her window.
She was dressed in a white nightgown rather like Dinah’s except that there was a deep frill about theneck. Her hair was blond, almost as pale as the gown,closely curled about her head and down over hershoulders. Her face was narrow and pale and sweet.It would probably be beautiful if animated. She wasgazing downward a little to Dinah’s left, a world ofagony in her face. Her lips were moving.
“Oh,” Dinah whispered, “are you still here? Can I not see you down here just as I could not see yourlady when I was up there?” She was about to stepforward to the spot where his horse had been standing,but she was afraid of the passions she might find herself caught up in. She stood where she was.
“Wait for her,” she said, still in a whisper. “Please wait. She will come. She is having your child and everyone will know about it soon. Please wait a whilelonger.”
But what if he had already gone? she wondered. What if he had already galloped off toward the cliffsand was preparing to set off for the New World withouthis lady and their child? And what if she should comedown after all just to find that after almost two centuries she had missed him by five minutes?
Dinah looked up to the window again. The dark rider’s lady was looking urgent now, and she was holding up a staying hand, which she pressed against theglass before turning quickly and disappearing.
“She is coming,” Dinah whispered. “Please wait. She is coming.”
But what if he was gone already? She must stop him, she thought, that mindless urgency on her again. Shemust go after him and bring him back somehow. Perhaps he was here and she could not see him. Perhapshe had seen what she had just seen and would wait forhis lady to come down to him. Or perhaps he hadgone, having given up finally after almost two hundredyears.
She picked up the hem of her cloak and nightgown and began to run in the direction she and Edgar hadtaken with their horses the previous morning. It wasnot even very dark, she half noticed as she ran. Therewas light from the stars and the sliver of an old moon.
The clifftop was deserted. Dinah could see that from some distance away and slowed her pace to a walk.There was no sign of either horse or rider. So eithershe was far too late or else he was still back at Malvernwaiting for his lady. She hoped the latter. Oh, shehoped it. But she kept walking. She wanted to assureherself that he was not out of sight on the cliff path orelse out on the water on a boat already.
There was no one on the path. It was dark and deserted. But when she lifted her head and looked out to the water, she could see the ship, lying dark and stilland silent not far from the shore, its masts reachingtoward the stars, and a smaller boat being rowed toward the shore by two oarsmen.
