Harriet looked archly back at him and gave her parasolan extra twirl. “Oh,” she said, “when they tell me things I wish to hear, I invariably believe them.”
“Did she describe this fortunate man?” Mr. Bartlett asked, bestowing a half bow and a smile of great charm onHarriet.
“No,” Harriet said, “not his appearance, that is. But she did say that he would be a masterful man who wouldsweep me off my feet, so to speak.”
She and Mr. Bartlett exchanged what Rebecca could only describe to herself as a meaningful smile. Her ownheart was knocking against her ribs again. There wasChristopher only a few feet away. A mere word on herpart would bring his attention. It would be a matter of amoment to draw him away from the group so that she mightsay her piece. She drew a breath and opened her mouth.
“Mr. Sinclair,” Harriet said, closing the distance that lay between them, “I have heard that you are to return totown tomorrow, and I have the greatest curiosity to discover what lies in your future. Something incurably romantic I am sure, sir. Come, I shall accompany you to thefortune-teller’s tent.”
“Hm,” Christopher said, but he smiled down at Harriet. “I always consider that life is made more exciting by our ignorance of what the future holds. However, to pleaseyou, Miss Shaw, I shall go and discover the worst. Leadon!”
“Miss Shaw,” Julian said, turning to Rebecca eagerly, “have you seen the juggler? He’s a different fellow fromthe one who usually comes here. And one must admit thatthat one used to be a trifle pathetic. This one can keep sixballs in motion all at once while dancing the most strenuous jig.”
“Indeed,” Rebecca said, “that must be quite a sight.”
“Come and see,” he said. “Wish I knew how the fellow did it. I have a notion to astound everyone bylearning, but I never could keep more than two balls at atime off the ground.”
Rebecca laughed and placed her arm through his. “I think you might expend your energies on worthier accomplishments,” she said. “What are your plans for the winter? Are you really considering a Grand Tour?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said vaguely. “Christopher is awfully keen to send me, but I hate to add one moreburden to his load.”
“I am sure he would not offer to send you if he did not really wish you to go,” Rebecca said. “It would seemsuch a shame to miss an opportunity like that. It wouldprobably please your brother to do something quite handsome for his family for once, too.”
He laughed. “For once?” he said. “Christopher has been doing things for our family for years now. I hope thetime is coming when we will be able to pay him back alittle for all he has done, or at least stop being quite sodependent on him, Ah, here he is. It is hard to see throughsuch a crowd. Here, Miss Shaw, let me go ahead of you. Ishall get you a place in the front where you can see justhow clever the fellow is.”
And indeed Julian was quite right. Rebecca had never seen such an impressive display of skill as that shown bythe new juggler. Soon she was applauding and exclaimingas loudly as the smallest child in the crowd.
Somehow after that Rebecca found that she had lost all her courage where Christopher was concerned. She spentthe rest of the day avoiding him, telling herself each timeshe might have had an opportunity to approach him thatthe time was not just right. She wandered from attractionto attraction in something of a daze. What a mess she wasmaking of this day, the day that was supposed to be thebeginning of a newer and more tranquil life. Had shereally almost ended her betrothal? She was to be marriedthe following week. The wedding ceremony and breakfasthad already been arranged. Yet she had told Philip that shedid not think there would be any ceremony.
What had caused her to speak so rashly? He had said himself that it was ridiculous to allow a quarrel over aminor school matter to blight their whole relationship. But was it a small matter? Could she marry a man who had such a feudal notion of a woman’s place in life? He hadmade it quite clear that he would expect unquestioningobedience from her after their marriage, not only becausethat was the way things were, but because he really believed women’s minds to be inferior to men’s. No, shecould not. She really could not marry him under thecircumstances.
The realization terrified her. If she could not marry Philip, what was to become of her? What else was there?She would have to seek employment as a teacher or governess. When Papa died, she had quite cheerfully expectedto have to do so, but time had passed since then. She wastoo old to begin such a new life. Yet she must. She couldnot marry Philip, even if he still wished to continue withtheir plans. And she had known all along, had she not, thatshe was not really doing the right thing to betroth herselfto him? At least, she had known recently. It was the safething to do, but that did not make it right.
Rebecca mingled and talked and laughed in an almost desperate attempt to postpone the panic that she felt wasawaiting her when she finally realized the full implicationsof what she was doing. She joined the ring of spectatorsaround the maypole late in the afternoon, watching theyoung girls and lads dancing around it, each holding to abrightly colored ribbon, each dancing in such a skilledmanner that the ribbons never became entangled.
The afternoon ended late with the presentation of prizes for the various competitions. Maude took her husband’splace. She had seemed to enjoy the day, Rebecca thought.Certainly she had been busy and sociable all the time.They were all to dine at the parsonage that evening, themembers of Uncle Humphrey’s household and the Sinclairs. Later in the evening there was to be general dancingon and around the village green. She would talk to Christopher during the evening, Rebecca decided. It would beeasier then to speak with some privacy. In the meantimeshe guessed that she and Philip would have to come to some definite understanding about their betrothal and wedding plans. When would life become less complicated?
The dining room in the parsonage was quite overcrowded with all the guests seated around the table. However, noone seemed to mind. Only Rebecca, Philip, and Maudewere relatively quiet during dinner. Everyone else wasdeterminedly merry, and all agreed that the fair had surpassed itself this year. The gentlemen did not remain at thetable after the ladies but accompanied them to the smallsitting room, where Ellen and Primrose agreed to entertainthe gathering on the spinet until it was time to go outsidefor the dancing.
Philip, having seen that all his guests had been served tea, raised his eyebrows in Rebecca’s direction and suggestedthat she take a turn in the garden with him. Mrs. Sinclairsmiled conspiratorially at Rebecca and nodded her head.
“Yes, yes, Miss Shaw,” she said, “do not let our presence disturb you young people. You run along andhave a little time to yourselves before the street is socrowded with people that you will hardly be able to move.”
“I have been thinking and thinking all day about what you said earlier,” Philip said as soon as they were alonetogether outside the house, “and I cannot help concludingthat perhaps you are right to question the wisdom of ourmarrying. You have many excellent qualities, Rebecca,and I have always concentrated my attention on those. Ihave chosen to ignore your very independent streak, thinking that perhaps it would not matter. But now I am afraidthat it might. What have your thoughts been?”
Rebecca sighed. “I am afraid I have not changed my thinking since this morning,” she said. “I have beendoing the same as you, Philip, concentrating on thosequalities I admire in you and ignoring those I would find itharder to live with.”
“I fear we both merely wanted to marry,” Philip said, “as a convenience, perhaps. We seem to be suited, do wenot? But we are not. ”
“I am sorry, Philip,” Rebecca said, stopping and turning to look into his face. ‘‘Will this cause you dreadful embarrassment? Canceling our wedding plans, that is, justone week before the appointed day?”
He smiled bleakly. ‘‘It is better to discover now that we are not suited than one week after the wedding, do you notagree? I am sorry too, Rebecca. I like you and respect youa great deal, and even now part of my mind is telling mehow foolish I am not to be begging you to reconsider.”
“Yes,” she said, laughing ruefully. “My mind is doing the same thing.”
He held out his right hand. “Let us remain friends, shall we, Rebecca?” he said. “I should hate for there to bebitterness and enmity between us just because we havedecided that we would not suit as husband and wife.”
She put her own hand in his. “Oh, yes,” she said, greatly relieved, “I shall need you as a friend, Philip. Wewill be doing a great deal of arguing over the school in thecoming months, I predict, and really it is no fun at all toargue with enemies.”
